This Is How to Tell Your Boyfriend You've Been Sexually Abused

Last updated on April 11, 2024 by Michelle Devani

When we’re hit by something so traumatizing, all the voices in us seems to hide away. We’re left wordless and that can be a really isolating feeling. You need to break this curse.

A boyfriend can also be a best friend. They are someone that we can talk about anything with. But nothing can prepare us for talking to them about our experience with sexual abuse. Do not worry, we’re here to tell you the safe ways on how to tell your boyfriend you've been sexually abused:

  1. Have Some Space Alone

Talking about this kind of stuff in public is not very ideal. You will show the inner most part of you so you need some private space.

  1. Tell Him You Need To Meet Him

Simply tell him that you need to meet him, not for a date, but for a serious talk. He’ll quickly run to you. This is the How to Get Someone to Notice You’re Sad But Not in Desperate Ways

  1. Don’t Call Him Or Text Him First

Don’t mention the incident through the call or through texting first. It’s better to talk about it all at once.

  1. Remember To Breathe

We’re not sugar coating this, talking about sexual abuse will be extremely hard. That is why the small Ways to Love Yourself  is by simply breathing.

  1. Ask If He Have The Emotional Space

Is he emotionally ready to listen about your problems? If not, he’ll half listen to you which is a Signs of a Bad Boyfriend Material

  1. Don’t Be Afraid To Show Your Emotion

Don’t worry about being graceful and showing signs she is a girlfriend material . Right now, you are allowed to be as emotional as you want.

  1. Tell Him Chronologically

Tell him calmly and chronologically about what happened so he can better wrap his head around the incident.

  1. Don’t Expect Anything From Him

Do not expect him to safe you from this mess. Sometimes, your boyfriend will be as shocked and clueless as you. After all, he’s only human.

  1. Prepare For The Confusion

He’ll be really confused. First, confused about how such bad thing could happen to someone and confused about how to show signs that a man loves you unconditionally in times like this.

  1. Prepare For The Question

To make up for his confusion, he’ll ask a lot of question. Don’t take this as him doubting you, it’s just his curiosity.

  1. Be Patient In Answering The Question

Patience will be required for you to answer all of his question thoroughly.

  1. Be Silent If It Suits You

If you are drained of energy or if you just feel like it, being silent is also fine. It can restore your energy and make you feel calmer.

  1. Tell Him What You Need

Do you need emotional support? Do you need to go to the police? Be precise in what you want because sometimes he is confused on what to do.

  1. Comfort Yourself Too

In case he does not give adequate comfort, you need to calm yourself down.

Signs That He’s Taking It Well

If you’ve done the right things and steady your heart, you will soon the reassuring signs that he understands what you mean and wants to help you:

  1. Not Overly Emotional

When hearing about the incident, although he is a bit shocked, he doesn’t become overly emotional which is a selfish thing to do.

  1. Not Judgmental Towards Your Story

Your boyfriend doesn’t blame you or ask you to take responsibility. This is because he have listened to your whole story and know that you’re in a vulnerable space right now.

  1. Supporting You Emotionally

He starts with saying  Messages for A Friend Who Is Sad and then he will try to make you smile with the Ways to Cheer Someone Up Over Text.

  1. Ready To Help You

Even if he is clueless on what to do and still in a state of shock, he’ll firmly ask you “what can i do to lighten your burden?” and that would be the sweetest thing on earth.

We know that it is hard to act on how to tell your boyfriend you've been sexually abused but it is a really important thing to do. Bury the fear and let your courage take the wheels of your heart. As painful as it is, it would be worth it.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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