How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips)

Last updated on April 14, 2024 by Michelle Devani

When you meet a girl and you both hit it off, how often should you text her? The dating period could be one of the most delicate periods for any relationship. This is because you've got to balance things out

Communication is a big deal at the early stages. If you aren't talking often enough, both parties may lose interest over time. At the same time, if communication is excessive and forced, it's going to suffocate the relationship. This is why your texting game has to be on point. 

Admittedly, it's hard to know how much to do to keep a girl interested. Most guys are clueless about how often they need to text girls. If you're one of the guys asking, “How often should you text a girl to keep her interested”, here are a few tips that could help you out.


How To Determine How Often To Text

1. If you recently connected with her on social media. 

Hundreds of couples meet on social media and end up building a successful relationship in the long run. It's easy to doubt social media relationships but sometimes they really do work out. 

So, say you were scrolling through a friend's page and you noticed photos of their hot, mutual friend. You think to yourself, 'What's the worst that could happen?' So you send her a text message to see if she’s interested and she actually responds. You start texting and your chats are running smoothly. However, you're concerned about boring her after sometime, you don't know how often you should text a girl to keep her engaged, yet avoid smothering her. 

In this case, try not to bombard her DMs with a million text messages, keep things moderate so you don't come off as a creepy stalker. In fact, let her take the lead on most occasions. 

2. After a first date.

Whether it was a blind date or one of you asked the other out, the moment you start dating, things get a bit delicate. It's at the dating stage you start wondering, “how often should I text her?”

 There's one thing you know for sure and that's to call her the morning after the date. However, that's the easy and obvious part, how do you know how often calling or texting a girl seems obsessive? At the same time, you don’t want to get friend-zoned. 

In this scenario, try not to do too much too soon. Text on intervals but also read the room. If you're hitting it off and your chats are going well, then by all means go with the flow. Especially when her response times are immediate. In summary, gauge her response and go with that.

3. If she's your tinder match. 

If you matched with her on tinder, it's a bit different. This is someone you haven't met before - you probably haven't even gone on a date. You're both still in the beginning stages, still chatting to see if you match each other's vibes. So, it is normal for you to wonder, “how often should I text her?”

You've got to understand the tempo before you act. Most guys tend to avoid texting a girl the first few hours because they're afraid to look too available. These fears are usually their downfall. When you match with someone on tinder, it's normal for you to get excited. Well, guess what, your match is probably exciting too because if she wasn't eager to meet someone, she wouldn't be on the app. 

To keep this girl interested, the best thing to do is be yourself and express your excitement. Don't be excessive obviously, but don't pretend not to care. Text your tinder match immediately and see what she's about. 

4. If she's a platonic female friend. 

If you’re great friends with a girl, you shouldn't have too much to worry about when it comes to chatting. Although there's the issue of keeping things platonic and not sending mixed signals. You don't want your female friend to think you're interested in dating her.

In this case, you probably aren’t wondering, “How often should I text her?”. Although, there are no rules to how often you text a friend; it all depends on the intensity of your friendship. If she's someone who just understands you, then you're probably going to be talking often. However, if you are just very casual and just like to send each other funny tiptoes and memes, you'll chat only on a need-to-talk basis. 

5. If she's your girlfriend. 

You should know how to keep your girl interested. If you got girlfriend status with her, you should know her to some degree. How often should you text your girlfriend? Text her anytime. She's not going to think you're a creepy stalker because you're texting her to find out how her day is going. In fact, most girlfriends want you to text as often as possible. 

The problem with this is that most men suddenly develop a hatred for communication after they're finally with the girl they've been chasing for months. This is sometimes because most girls want their boyfriends to text them a little more often than guys generally like to text. 

So what do you do in this case? Make a habit of chatting with her when you see or experience anything remotely bizarre or exciting. Send her a funny text, it shows that you're on her mind all day. You could also let her know upfront how you feel about texting. 

Signs You're Texting Too Much

6. She's hinting or telling you but you don't listen. 

When you're actively dating or you're in the initial stages of your relationship, it's a delicate time. You've got to listen and observe for hints and you’ve got to listen when she tells you something directly. 

If you text a girl and she responds to your most recent text saying she’s having a busy day or out with friends, don’t think she’s trying to play hard to get. It’s probably a hint that you're texting her way too much. When a girl likes you, your texts will never be an inconvenience to her. Especially when they are interesting. She can text you when she's hanging out with her friends, when she's working and even when she’s a bit tired.

If she has to make excuses to stop you from texting her, you're definitely overdoing it. Take the hint and stop texting her too much. 

7. If she stops responding to your texts. 

if she stops responding to your texts

This is the last thing you want. If you text a girl too much she may stop responding to your texts altogether. Most women will only do this if you didn't listen to her hint and you didn't listen when she explicitly told you that you started texting a little too much. 

Before she stops responding to your messages, she must have given you delayed responses, made a dozen excuses as to why she wasn't responding and to your texts. This probably went on for a while before she finally tells you to slow it down with the texts. If you don't listen to all of that, she will definitely stop responding.

8. She keeps giving short answers. 

If you text a girl and she usually responds with full sentences but suddenly responds with just a word, you're probably texting her way too much. Receiving one-word answers all of a sudden could mean two things; she's either genuinely busy or she's just had enough of your texting. She's dropping a hint for you to slow down on the texts. 

It's hard for anyone to say that out directly, they may be afraid that it would come off sounding mean. However, the fact that their responses are dry and one-worded, speaks volumes. Her lack of enthusiasm should tell you that you need to stop texting her. 

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9. She turns off her "read" receipts. 

If you text a girl and you can’t tell if she has seen your messages, this clearly means she has turned off her read receipts. You can tell if you're using apps like WhatsApp or Instagram to chat with her. It's normal for you to get two blue ticks on WhatsApp and a 'seen' on Instagram when she has seen your messages. 

If you suddenly notice that you can't see these 'read' notifications, it's probably not a mistake. She may be trying to point out that you're a clingy texter. The sooner you get the hint, the better. 

10. She keeps asking if she can text you later.

If you receive a custom message when you text a girl, don't just innocently assume it's because her hands are free or she's driving. If you start receiving these out of the blues, she's trying to escape your cascade of messages without being mean. She's indirectly saying, "Give me some space!"

Some women are way too polite to ghost you, so she will rather try to send subtle messages and hope you can pick up on them. So if she asks for a minute to do something and she doesn't actually text back later on, she's probably trying to tell you that you're texting too much. 

11. You text five lines, she texts one. 

If you notice that for every five lines you text a girl, she responds with just one or two unenthusiastic texts, then it may be a sign that your texts are a bit excessive. 

Let's face it, if she was as excited or enthusiastic about texting you, she would have as much to say as you do. So it's a bit obvious at this point. If you're still wondering if you're texting way too much in this case, it's probably a yes.

12. They're suddenly unavailable.

If her phone is switched off all of a sudden or she's simply not reachable, there's a chance she's trying to get away from you. This may be a bit harsh but that's the reality of the situation. It's hard to imagine how freaked out or repelled she could have felt for her to turn off her phone altogether. You may be wondering if you really texted her that much. 

There's no easy way to look at this, unless she lost her phone or it got faulty, there's no other reason for her phone to be switched off for over a week straight. You also have to consider the fact that she may have blocked you. 

13. She takes ages to respond.

If the girl you're chatting with enjoys a conversation, she isn't going to have delayed responses. She'll respond within seconds and She'll have a lot to contribute to the conversation too. She may even text you first on some days with memes or tweets that remind her of precious conversations. 

However, if it takes her hours, days, or weeks to text back, she is probably tired of all the texts you're sending. You're probably texting her at odd times or perhaps too often. The moment you notice this, it's best to talk it out with her. No matter how awkward it may seem, ask her if you've been texting too much. She'll probably open up and admit it at that point. 

14. They're different in real life. 

they're different in real life

Some people just aren't good with any kind of phone conversation. They're better to talk to in person; you can see their true personalities that way. 

You can confirm this by inviting her out on a date. When you're out together, you will notice that she doesn't really pick up her phone, she's engaged in conversations with you. She's just enthusiastic and has a lot to say too. That way you can tell that she's probably not a texter. 

This is actually a good thing. You've finally found someone who can be present with you and not distracted by her phone.

15. They've stopped using emojis.

Emojis bring life to your texts and it's hard to find people who don't use them. Texting without them seems a bit too formal and dry. Who doesn't like a cartoon pictorial representation of our moods while we're texting?

If she was using emojis when you started talking and all of a sudden her texts are void of them; they just sound bland and straightforward, she is probably tired of getting texts from you. You're most likely a clingy texter, stop texting her too much.

Signs You're Texting Too Little

16. She double texts. 

If a girl you’re dating texts you and doesn't get a response from you, there's a chance she's going to text again to see if everything is okay. This is called double texting in the dating world. 

Not responding to a girl's texts for days could make her think you don't like her. She may even think you're ghosting her. If you truly don't like her, it's best to let her know in the kindest way possible. Ignoring her isn't the way to go. However, if you like her and you're texting too little because you don't want to seem desperate, it may have the opposite effect on her. 

So if she leaves another text after her unattended text, that's a sign that you're texting too little. 

17. Your text ratio is off. 

Everyone has a texting style of their own. However, texts largely contribute to miscommunication in relationships so every written word needs to be closely examined. 

If your partner sends you 15 texts and only gets a “yeah” in return, that's an unbalanced texting ratio. Or they ask you to text them at a certain time yet you keep forgetting to do so, that's an imbalance right there. This doesn't necessarily mean that your partner doesn't reciprocate your feelings, it could mean that your texting style isn't compatible. 

There are ways to sort this out with your partner if you're both willing. However, it usually indicates different problems. One of them could be that you aren't texting her enough.

18. She can't share things with you.

Many women love to talk to people who understand them and are willing to listen. If you don't text her enough, you will notice that she'll start sharing less and less information with you. 

Communication and sharing are the bedrock of a good relationship. If she already feels like she can't tell you about her day, or text you when something amazing happens to her, you're probably texting too little. 

She should always feel like telling you stuff first. When you’re both emotionally attached (not just sexual tension), she will tell you even the most insignificant things. If she doesn't, it's because she feels like you won't care. 

19. She starts to pull away. 

If she doesn't feel heard, she will not stick around. If you’re dating, that means you had a connection. She was definitely just as excited and happy as you were. So, if you don't text her often enough, she will think the sparks have died.

No one likes to feel like they aren't wanted. If your girl starts to feel like you aren't texting because you aren't interested in her, she will start to pull away from you. If she used to text to say good morning or ask about your day in the evening, expect that to reduce drastically. She'll pull away slowly till she stops talking to you completely.

20. She starts to sound cold. 

The moment your love interest isn't feeling very loved anymore, she will start to give you the cold shoulder. 

If you aren't texting her enough, she won’t be interested anymore. She may even start to sound grumpy, like you're bothering her. This happens because she doesn't feel loved. When you text a girl just the right amount, she feels loved and cared for. It makes her feel like you actually think of her during the day. 

You may ask her a simple question and she just goes from zero to a hundred in seconds. Don't blame it on the weather, her job, or her cycle, it may just be you. 

21. She'll start to reconsider going out with you. 

she'll start to reconsider going out with you

Every extra day you go without chatting her up, gives her more time to reconsider going out with you. Don't assume that you're the only guy in her DMs, she probably has a few other guys texting her too. She may think you’re texting other girls too.

So if she suddenly starts to sound distant and nonchalant, it's a potential sign that you're not giving her enough attention.

22. She'll put less effort into the conversations. 

Her responses will start to get very lazy and indolent. She won't feel the need to give meaningful responses anymore so chatting with her could get boring. 

When you don't text her enough, she's going to feel like you're doing the bare minimum or playing games with her. She'll think that you don’t love texting her. In this case, she won't feel the need to put her 100% in either. 

If you decide to chat her up one evening and it seems like her texts aren't well thought out, this probably means you aren't communicating enough. Perhaps you have asked her how her day went all week, or you haven't checked in to see how she is doing enough. Once you notice this, it's time to start sending her more messages.

23. You won't be a priority to her anymore. 

When you text a girl too little, she may think you’re too busy for her. So naturally, you will move a couple steps down her priority list too.

In this case, you may not realize this immediately and this is detrimental to your relationship. It's not obvious right away because you don't become less important to her overnight. First of all, she will give you the benefit of the doubt. She will make excuses for you too, telling herself that you're probably busy that's why you aren't texting. However, that may not last very long. If you keep texting a girl sparingly, she will conclude that you aren’t interested in her. She will slowly lose interest too.

If it gets to this, try to talk it out with her the moment you realize it. Be honest and explain that it was a miscalculation on your part and you thought you were giving her space. She will probably understand, especially if you two have a genuine connection. Not just sexual tension.

24. Her response times will increase. 

Her logic is, if you aren't going to make time to text her, why should she go out of your way to give you timely responses. She isn't completely wrong. 

The truth is, you may not be aware that you're not communicating enough. In fact, from your point of view, you're trying not to smother her with way too many text messages. However, there’s a balance to these things. Try to text her multiple times a day, depending on how well your conversation develops over time. If you keep this up, she'll be happy talking to you too. 

So, if you notice that she's started taking hours to respond or even days, it's probably because you aren't texting enough. Scroll up and check through all your chats to confirm this. 

25. Her overall enthusiasm for you will drop. 

Everything we do requires motivation. If your motivation begins to wane, you will slowly start to abandon whatever project you were working at. This also applies to relationships because, as we all know, relationships require work. 

If she isn't sensing a good amount of effort from your end, she will lose motivation and enthusiasm. This lack of enthusiasm won't only affect your text conversation, it will also affect your phone conversation and make them less interesting. 

If she used to get excited every time your call came in, that would change. She would start to sound dull when you call. You’d also notice that she isn't present throughout your conversations anymore, she will zone out more often and sometimes even excuse herself early from the call to go do something else. That's when you know you may not be giving her the attention she needs. 


How often should you text a girl to keep her interested?

To keep your girl interested, you should text her everyday. You don't necessarily have to text her all day, everyday (like she’s your whole world); three times a day will do this trick. You want to make sure she knows she's on your mind everyday. 

Should I text her every day if I like her?

Yes. If you really like her and you’d like to date her, a good rule is to text her everyday. You don't want her thinking you don't care about her. Send her a simple text in the morning to wish her a good day ahead. Then text her in the evening, after the day's activities to find out how her day went. 

How do you make a girl think about you?

To make a girl interested in you, give her genuine compliments. In real life women can tell when your compliments aren't true. Also, listen to her. Girls love good listeners. The moment she notices that you're engaged in conversations with her, you will become her favorite person. 

What makes a girl fall for you?

If you'd like your love interest to fall for you your best bet would be to get to know her. Take her on a date and find out what engages her and what her hobbies are. Does she like books? What kind of books does she like to read? What sports does she play? Etc. When you're part of her circle and you’ve been able to delve deeper than just knowing her name, you can then become part of her life. 

How do you show interest in a girl?

Not all girls are the same. For some girls, all you need to do is look their way and they will feel special. For others, a good romantic gesture will do the trick. Also, ask her out on a date frequently and engage her in good conversation; ask open-ended questions

In Conclusion

I hope you found this article helpful. Remember, there's a balance when it comes to texting a girl. Don't text her too much and don't text her too little. Please leave your comments in the section below and be sure to share the article. 

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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