Are you horrible at texting people you’re attracted to?
Do you constantly enjoy great face-to-face interactions with people only for them to ghost you after you’ve started texting?
You’re not alone. This is a common problem because most men and women have no idea how to engage with each other via text messages.
That’s why I was so keen to write this guide on what to text someone after getting their number.
First off, I want to tell you a relevant and important story.
Back in my early years of dating, I picked up a terrible habit of meeting and dating with toxic guys.
They were exceedingly charming face-to-face and via text! Yet, they’d almost always turned out to be terrible matches. Playboys, criminals, serial liars. I’ve accidentally dated them all!
But not anymore! Now I use this intelligent and discreet background check and tracker tool.
If you can feed this tool with a few basic pieces of information about your love interest, it can infiltrate their personal devices and serve you with a wealth of useful data about their recent communications.
You’ll find out who they’ve been contacting, what online services they’re using, and a lot more. More often than not, this tool will alert you to any dodgy things going on right away.
I know women who have used this tool to keep track of partners who they suspect of cheating. Other girls use it to see if their crush is interested in other women. You can use it however you want, because discretion is 100% guaranteed.
If you want to learn more about how this tool works, you can click here.
To learn more about the right things to text a potential love interest after you’ve swapped contact details, scroll down, read and take notes!
You got this!
Congratulations, you found the courage to go against the grain and collected your crush’s number. Here comes the harder part, texting them, especially that all-important opening line.
I mean, what are you supposed to say? Ignoring cringy and desperate texts from men is more your forte.
There is no reason to be embarrassed. You are still part of a small 13% of women who would even attempt to ask men out. Also, it is pretty easy to figure out what to text a guy once you understand some simple ideas.
When you do, you will be able to craft killer openers that will command his lasting interest.
Get a seat and get ready to munch on knowledge because I will be discussing these principles with sample texts you can send or modify to help you set up that date.
When it comes to the first text, there are rules worth following that help you maintain social etiquette and keep the conversation going. Achieving both with one text is how you guarantee a reply and a future date.
The most important thing you want to achieve with the first text is driving their curiosity and captivating their attention. That is why your connection is a very useful resource. It is a memory unique to both of you.
Crafting the text in a way that reminds them of that memory instantly establishes you in their mind. For instance, if you met after you spilled coffee on them, you could send a text saying, “At least on here, I don’t have to burn you with coffee to start a conversation.”
The idea that boys are horndogs might make it seem like being overtly sexual from the jump is a sure-fire way to get their attention. But sending a revealing photo as a first text is bad social etiquette and potentially sexual harassment.
Not only that, but it also betrays a desire for validation. And even if you do get it, it will likely only be sexual, which might hurt your chances of a relationship if that’s what you want.
Do you feel like he kind of takes you for granted?
Unfortunately this is one of the most frequent complaints we get from our readers, where they feel they aren't a priority for their boyfriend or husband. They always seem to have some excuse as to why they can't spend some quality time with you like they used to.
To see if he actually likes you take this quick free quiz and we'll let you know if it's worth putting any more time into this guy.
When you write the first text, make it short. It doesn’t matter if you are a long paragraph texter. The shorter the text, the sharper the mind-captivating effect.
Also, keep it simple. They should be able to grasp the point of the text at a glance. This mostly refers to grammar and spelling.
In certain moments, a standard “Hi” or “Hey, this is [your name]” is enough to get the ball rolling. Although they are boring, they are enough. But these moments are usually a few minutes or a couple of hours after collecting the number.
Once enough time has passed, you need a message with personality to spark their interest.
The same thing goes for formal sentences. Ditch them and save the formalities for your boss or parents. Always keep things light and casual.
Many people still believe in the three-day rule, but texting immediately after getting the number has been cool for a while. It is also the best time to send the first text because it requires little effort, especially if the first meeting is in person.
There is a little window where simply acknowledging the details are correct is a rational and acceptable choice. There are no expectations or need to attract the guy’s attention. In this window, basic texts work just fine.
But that does not mean you still can’t leave a good impression with texting in this context. Here are some examples of what to text immediately after getting someone’s number.
A bland simple text like this is a nice little way to get the text chain started. When you got their number, you established your interest in them. So there is no need for you to do it again via text so soon.
Additionally, it is a non-committal way to gauge if they are interested in you or if they were just being nice when they shared their number. If their response is encouraging, you can then proceed normally.
This one is best delivered when you are a few yards away from each other. Is it cocky? Yes, it is, but a text like this will pique his interest. It is unusual, and with the right sense of humor, funny too.
There is also the added advantage that the words ‘the hot girl you met today’ will force him to relive the encounter with you. It will put a smile on his face and imprint your image in his mind.
Humor is a cheat code for the first message to someone after getting their number. Acknowledging the subversion of the texting rule is a fun way to break the ice without thinking too much.
At worst, you will get a chuckle or a couple of funny texts out of him. It is also a cool way to stay in control of the conversation, helping you maintain the adrenaline rush from asking him out.
In this text, you are showing your funny side and a slight nod to your nerdy side. It is even a better fit if you are both nerds. They can piggyback off your line and start a friendly banter based on mutual interest.
Texts like this are particularly great for getting the talking started because it automatically makes you a comfortable and relaxing space for them.
It will keep the replies coming because people like spending time where they can be themselves.
It may not be popular, but women can text themselves into the friend zone too. Avoiding this fate starts with the first text, and getting flirty right out the gate says I may be friendly, but I am ready to get down.
Another thing is, asking questions almost guarantees he will respond, and the chat progresses naturally. Feel free to double text some funny and sexy ideas if you want some extra zip to it.
You don’t have to limit yourself to words. GIFs and memes are recognized means of communication now.
Did something funny happen when you met last night? Is there a joke about your first meeting that only the two of you will understand? Put it in a meme and send it, with or without a caption.
You will likely get a good laugh out of him because the biggest laughs usually come from personal experiences.
Being inappropriate may be off the table, but you can still spark their imagination with this line. It will make them think about the future with you, and that has a way of making you the first thing on their mind ASAP.
At the very least, you will get a smile out of them and set the tone for what dating would look like.
Knowing what to text someone after getting their number most times comes down to how you got their number. All of these endless possible scenarios can be summarized into two categories - in person and virtually.
It is more straightforward to figure out the first text when you meet in person. The shared experience provides significant material to mine for text messages.
But not every in-person meeting is that exciting, which means coming up with something more lively. This is also applicable if it has been days or weeks since you collected their number.
If there is one thing the news media get right, it is the power of clickbait. By dangling a message that provokes a reaction, you don’t have to worry that they won’t respond. Human curiosity guarantees that they will.
Another great thing about this text or its variation is there are at least two follow-up lines—what a nice way to ease your way into that chat.
A text like this conveys a positive opinion of the encounter that led to getting their number. It is a nice yet flirty icebreaker that is also hilarious. The message establishes that you like him, and the rest of the conversation should benefit as a result.
It does not have to involve an incident either. Texting something along the lines of what you expect when you see each other again also passes the same message.
When the time has passed since you got the number, forcing them to be curious about the past is always a nice strategy. It can involve anything from a recommended show, movie, or recipe.
In this one, because you are validating their opinion, they become more endeared to you. If you can talk more about it passionately over a semi-lengthy period, they become emotionally connected to you.
If there is one thing you take away from these free tips, it is that you don’t have to be coy with your first text. Use it to establish your intention and determine if they are interested in you.
This text does that and, at the same time, builds on your first shared memory.
Some people might consider this too forward and choose not to talk to you again. But if you are the type of person who doesn’t mind sending something like this, they are probably wrong for you anyway.
Imagine a text like this from someone whose number you don’t have on your phone, wearing a nondescript display picture? Imagine your reaction. You are surprised, right? Maybe even confused.
One thing is for sure, though, your interest is piqued. You want to understand what is going on. If enough time has passed since you collected the number, this is a funny yet dramatic way to start talking.
Open-ended questions that force the reader to think about their answer help you break from overused interview questions. Instead of “what do you do for a living” or “where are you from,” dig more into your connection.
A text like this will make it unlikely for them to forget you, and it will keep both of you engaged for a while.
Nothing exceptional even has to happen. You only need to use it to grab their attention and let your chemistry and creativity do the rest. Whatever explanation you choose to go with, though, should at least keep them excited.
The last thing you want to do is get their mind racing early into the chat and then let it fizzle unremarkably shortly after.
Coming up with the first text when there is no physical interaction to feed off can make things more challenging. Even if you got their number via social media.
Most people’s online and real-life personalities are different. After all, we have all had talking stages that died once it moved off social media. That is why it is necessary to start on the front foot. These are useful examples to help you navigate this transition. And oh, they are good for sliding into DMs too.
Direct and flirty. Without the advantage of a shared experience from an in-person encounter, coming in like a wrecking ball is an efficient way to carve your space in his mind. Most men are not used to receiving a text like this, so it will surely stand out.
Text messages like these also carry a lot of potential follow-ups. If both of you play your cards right, you could talk about this for days.
Has it been a few days since you collected their number? Stalk their social media and find a tweet that fits this text. If it is not their last, you can change it to ‘this tweet of yours made me laugh.”
Knowing that their tweet made you feel this way will keep them engaged and interested in you.
Internet crushes start to feel real during a phone conversation, which is a much-dreaded part of online dating. Recognizing this fear funnily can lead to a nice bonding experience that brings both of you closer.
It is also a subtler way of saying, “I very much like you and want to experience every part of who you are.”
Want to keep them guessing about your intentions? A text like this is positively ambiguous, striking a good balance between just friendly and flirty. They will have trouble figuring out what exactly you want with them, which is a clever way to keep their attention on you.
This text is most suitable if you have been talking on social media and exchanging phone numbers feels like moving to the next level. Texting them something like this sets the tone for the new direction of your relationship.
It passes the same sweet message that your body language would have conveyed if you were on a date. On the back of this text, you can determine if dating is an option or simply want to have a great time together.
Contrary to what love gurus and decades of sitcom jokes might say, there is no right or wrong time to text someone after getting their number. However, it is advisable not to take time texting. The longer it takes, the likelier they are to forget about you, killing any generated passions.
Something funny, attention-grabbing, and likely to provoke a reaction. Focus on something unique to them or both of you (if you have met in person). You can also use something from past conversations and common interests. Overall, avoid texting something inappropriate, rude, or too formal when you message someone you like for the first time.
The next thing you need to do is text them. Although you could call, texting is a simple yet effective way of establishing yourself as a safe and comfortable space in preparation for a future phone call. When you text, it is generally safe to go with something funny like a joke or meme about something you can relate to.
There is no appropriate number of hours or minutes to wait before texting someone after collecting their number. You could text them the next day, two days after, or a month. If you are looking to date them, it is better to message shortly after because chances are if you found them dateable, others will do too.
Multiple surveys and studies have shown that guys do like it when girls are the first to text. Part of this is because it removes any doubt that you are interested in them. There is also the added fact that it shows confidence on the girl’s part, and that turns guys on.
Getting someone’s phone number may be challenging, but figuring out the first text can be even more overwhelming. However, it does not have to be as long as you abide by certain principles and ideas. Ultimately, remember that it is only one text, and you don’t have to overthink it.
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