How To Let Your Boyfriend Know You Need More Attention (11 Real Ways)

by Michelle Devani

Do you feel like your boyfriend isn’t giving you enough attention?

Perhaps he has become less attentive in recent times, or maybe this has been a problem since day one.

Either way, I really hope this guide will help you out. It features 11 actions you can take that will let your boyfriend know you need more attention. With this arsenal of ideas, there’s no way he won’t catch the hint.

I’ve also packed the guide with signs that your boyfriend knows you need more attention. 

But, before you do anything, you first need to check for potential reasons why your boyfriend has been acting this way. 

For that, I would recommend using this discreet and highly intelligent online communications tracking tool.

Once you enter a few of your boyfriend’s details into this tool, it will be able to connect to his personal devices and produce a database of his communications history.

You’ll be able to see whether he’s been messaging another woman a little too frequently, whether he’s downloaded dating apps or if he’s signed up to any dodgy online services. 

The database is impressively extensive. If your boyfriend is up to no good, this report will make that immediately clear for you. 

Hopefully you don’t find any incriminating evidence. Then, you can begin your mission to get more attention from your boyfriend free from paranoia. 

So, now let’s take a look at some actions you can take.

How To Speak Your Mind When In A Relationship

If you are currently feeling unloved or mistreated in your relationship, you may be missing some key components. It may be that you need more attention from your man. 

However, how to let your boyfriend know you need more attention may not be as easy as you’d hoped. You need to show him you mean business when it comes to how he treats you, right?

This may be a tricky thing to accomplish; you want to be gentle with your request, but this is a big deal, and you need him to know that you are serious in the fact that he is not currently meeting all of your needs. So, what can you say or do to get him to respond in the way that you wish? We’ll cover that in this article so that you will know the exact right methods!

On the flip side of things, you may not need to have an elaborate plan to get your boyfriend to respond appropriately. Some guys just need to be told what’s going on; remember that guys are not mindreaders! Many of them just want the truth behind why you are upset or being distant.

how to speak your mind when in relationship

According to Psychology Today, it’s important that you say what you want to when you are in a relationship. In fact, speaking your mind is a powerful way to resolve conflict in relationships and get what you want, but you must do it in the right way. Dr. Firestone, in the article from Psychology Today, outlines four ways to connect with your partner to tell them about your needs.

1. Know when to let things go

One smart move you can make is to just drop your side of things; you don’t always have to have the last word with your significant other. Calm down when conflict arises and refuse to lash out. Pull back your weapons, and don’t agree to continue an argument that’s going nowhere.

Be direct when you talk to your partner about your unmet needs but do it from a vulnerable perspective. Dr. Firestone suggests saying, “I have decided to care more about you and how I love you rather than winning this argument.” Can you relate to this statement? Let things go!

2. Stay vulnerable in the way you talk

When you speak to your partner about your needs, it’s a good idea to do so from an open and honest place; you don’t want to act entitled or demanding, and you certainly don’t want to be the nagging, complaining person that your man doesn’t enjoy spending time with. At the same time, you need to speak from the heart.

If you are being honest about your love for your partner and how he is currently showing it to you, it’s okay to be direct in what you need to express but use a vulnerable tone. Don’t feel guilty about saying what you need to, so your partner will know what’s missing in the relationship; you need to say those things.

3. Don’t play the role of the victim

Avoid passive-aggressive behavior. Men aren’t mind-readers; be honest about your needs, and remember that he can’t meet all your needs; support each other. 

In other words, find ways to meet your own needs within yourself. You want to be a whole person who is not dependent on another individual for your happiness.

4. Avoid blame statements

avoid blame statements

As you give your partner feedback, don’t complain about all the things that have gone wrong in your relationship. Instead, discuss what is going right. Say, “I need more attention from you because I love and care about you; I always seem to miss you when we are away from each other. I would like to spend time alone with you more often.”

Let your guard down and discuss your feelings. Take a chance with direct communication about what you need from him. By saying what you want, you improve your odds of getting it.

Top Ways To Let Your Boyfriend Know You Need More Attention

1. Thank him when he does what you need

Positive reinforcement can work wonders in a relationship, as you are explaining what you enjoy and appreciate from your partner. Instead of saying, “You did that wrong,” you are showing him that he does do many things right, and you are very appreciative of that. This will encourage him to continue behaving like this in the future!

2. Ask him to call or text more often

If you tell him specifically how you want more attention, you have a better chance of getting what you want. Often, we think that men can figure out what we want by some vague statement we tell them; when really, they need to hear how they can specifically help meet our needs. 

Explaining what you want exactly will get you much farther than being vague.

3. Give him even more attention than usual

Sometimes, we need to show him what we want by giving him the same thing. Since you want more attention, give him plenty of attention, and watch his reaction. He may be thinking that you need more attention since you are giving him more than usual. 

Guys aren’t that dense; they can often read between the lines and fix problems like that.

4. Like or comment on his social media posts

This is another type of attention you can give to your boyfriend. Just give him lots of attention on social media, and he may return the favor. It’s a nice feeling when your significant other reads your Facebook page, for example, and comments on your status or the latest pictures you’ve posted. This may be how he enjoys showing love to you. 

5. Be open and honest about what is missing in your relationship

be open and honest about what is missing in your relationship

As mentioned earlier, men aren’t mind-readers, so speak the truth and avoid the passive-aggressive game with your man. He doesn’t like trying to figure out what’s wrong, so just tell him the truth. 

6. Ask him to spend more quality time with you

There will be times in your relationship when it’s as simple as asking him to spend more quality time with you or something like that. Be specific when it comes to your needs.

7. Plan dates or getaways for the two of you

If you do all the work, at least every now and then, you might be surprised at his reaction!

8. Get too busy to hang out with him for a while

Sometimes, playing hard to get is all you need to do to win your man’s heart all over again. Pick up a new sport or hobby, and before you know it, you’ll be too busy to miss him.

9. Ask if his needs are being met

See what he says to a question like this. If the two of you are madly in love, you probably talk about your feelings a lot. Often, when you bring up something like this, you may find that it opens the floor up for a conversation about needs. He may say, “Are YOUR needs being met?” That will give you the perfect opening to talk about attention.

10. Be flirty and make him jealous

This isn’t always the best strategy, but it may make him think more about the love he has for you and how much he’s missed you since you are not spending as much time together as you once were.

11. Say that you need more attention

As mentioned earlier in this article, being honest and open will usually produce the best results.

Don’t Forget These Tips When Saying You Need More Attention

don't forget these tips when saying you need more attention
  • Don’t be bossy and controlling with his time; remember, he needs to have a life outside of you, too! If you come across as sad and lonely, you may be seen as desperate.
  • If you think your boyfriend needs space and time, give it to him. You don’t want to come across as wanting forced time together. That would be counterproductive!
  • Find ways to keep yourself preoccupied so you don’t seem depressed and lonely. You want to be someone who is able to keep herself entertained and busy without a need for a man.

FAQs

What do you do when your boyfriend doesn't give you attention?

If you feel unloved and neglected in your relationship, you may be feeling that way because your boyfriend isn’t giving you enough attention. In that case, you should talk to him; let him know you aren’t getting the quality time you need and are not feeling great about it.

Why do I feel like I'm not getting enough attention from my boyfriend?

Your boyfriend may be spending more time at work or has given his attention to another person. If you feel like it’s been a long time since you spent any quality time with your boyfriend, you might want to schedule an official date to talk things over.

How much attention do you need in a relationship?

Some people need very little attention; they get the attention they need in other areas of their lives. They may spend more time with family or work colleagues more. Other people need a lot of attention to feel complete in their relationship; they want as much as they can get!

How do you test a guy to see if he really loves you?

Some guys can spot tests and view them as games - something you don’t want. If your boyfriend sees you testing him, he’ll look at that as a red flag, and no one wants to be in a relationship like that. If he does love you, he’ll show it clearly.

Do guys like affection?

Yes, men enjoy the little things we do that make them feel special, especially those things that make them feel wanted (affection). Your boyfriend probably loves it when you put your arm around him or kiss his cheek; affection is a way of showing love in a sweet, romantic way.

To Sum Things Up…

Do you feel like your boyfriend isn’t giving you enough attention right now? How much time do you spend with each other? Make sure you are open and honest with your boyfriend on what you need but give him time to comply with your request. Things should look up soon!

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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