31 Possible Reasons Why Your Guy Friend Ignores You

by Michelle Devani

Do you have a male friend who has started ignoring you?

Are you wondering why he would turn cold on you all of a sudden?

Does it feel like you did nothing to deserve this? Maybe now you feel abandoned and confused and would at least like to know what happened to cause such a dramatic change to your friendship?

Well, in this guide, we will explore 31 common reasons why a male friend might choose to turn cold on you like this.

But I’d like to begin with a bonus tip that’s somewhat controversial, but is also arguably the easiest way to find out what’s actually going on in your friend’s life right now. 

The tip is: download this communications tracker tool.

Once you enter your friend’s details into this tool, it will be able to infiltrate his personal devices and reveal a wealth of information about his recent communications.

You’ll learn who he’s texting, calling, and speaking with on social media. You’ll discover what smartphone apps and online services he’s using. You’ll find out if he’s registered new contact details.

In many cases, you may discover something new that’s happened in his life that could have triggered this ghosting.

I know plenty of women (myself included) who have used this tool to check up on romantic interests, friends, and family members - and that’s because it’s 100% discreet. There’s no way these guys can find out they’re being tracked - and what they don’t know can’t hurt them.

If you don’t like the idea of tracking this guy, don’t fret. Perhaps my list of common reasons why men ignore their female friends might help.

Possible Reasons Why Your Guy Friend Ignores You

If your best friend has lost interest in you or is losing interest in you, you might want to know what to do. What are the possible reasons why your guy friend ignores you? 

There are many reasons a guy ignores a girl. He might be busy with something; he could be mad about an issue; he could have just forgotten to get in touch after some grand event.

Just because a guy ignores you doesn’t mean he is losing interest in you, too. The signs could show that he is just very busy or has gotten depressed about something. There could be external forces that have caused him to lose touch temporarily. Maybe he really does want to be in touch; he just cannot do so at the moment.

It is important to understand the reason, though, especially if he is losing interest in your friendship or there has been a change in the status of your relationship. If you talk to him about your feelings, you may be able to determine what the reason is and resolve any misunderstanding. 

Let’s explore the topic more, so you can know what signs to look for!

1. You have embarrassed him

Have you recently humiliated your guy friend? Were you in front of a group of people and made fun of him? If he felt that you disrespected him, you should think about how you will apologize to him for your behavior. Think about the ways you may have embarrassed him in public and work to mend your relationship.

Sometimes, when a guy is embarrassed by something that’s happened, he shies away from the person who humiliated him until his ego has time to heal. Your relationship with this guy may be going through this right now if you have seen signs of this happening with him.

2. He is ashamed of something

he is ashamed of something

Is your guy friend an addict, or does he have other big problems that you have helped him out with? Maybe he has relapsed or done something terrible to the girl he’s dating and just doesn’t want you to know. He may know that you can read him like a book because the two of you have that close of a relationship.

He may know that if he’s around you, he’ll explain what happened, or you’ll be able to get it out of him in the ways that only you can! He may just need some time to think of how he’s going to handle the situation or explain to you what happened.

3. He thinks you are mad at him about something

Some guys just don’t want to face the wrath of the women they know. Maybe he knows you have strong feelings about something he’s done, and he doesn’t want to hear the lecture. If you are upset over something, what do you think is going through his head? Is your relationship in jeopardy, or does he just think you are mad when really you aren’t?

If you think he believes you are mad about something, you might want to talk it out with him to let him know your true feelings. Let him know if you are truly upset or not and what the status of your relationship with him is. It’s best to talk something like this out.

4. You did something wrong

It’s very possible that you made a mistake in the relationship. If that’s the case, you may need to think of what went wrong and how you can apologize for your part in the mistake. Don’t be too proud or stubborn to say you are sorry if you know you did something wrong. Be a big girl and admit what you did; say you are very sorry!

5. He secretly likes you

This is probably the most likely reason for your guy friend ignoring you. He may have been around you so much that he’s decided you are the girl for him. He may be wondering if you have the same feelings for him. If you think this is the case, you should find out if the relationship you have can still be repaired or not.

Often, when one guy likes a girl, and she doesn’t feel the same way back, their friendship is ruined because it is just awkward after that. However, many friendships have survived far worse situations than that, so it’s very possible that you could stay friends even if one of you has feelings that the other one doesn’t share.

Another possibility is that he likes you, and you feel the same way back. If that’s the case, maybe you could talk about what you feel for one another and start dating. If you have been friends for a really long time, this could be a bit weird at first, but over time, it could blossom into something truly special and last a very long time!

6. He flirted with you by mistake

Some guys are just flirts; they find it comforting to tease girls and flirt their little hearts out. Maybe he was flirty with you because he forgot who he was talking to, or perhaps he drank too much, and this caused things to go awkward between the two of you. He may be embarrassed by this and not want to face you until he’s had time to cool off.

7. You didn’t share his romantic feelings

If your guy friend admitted that he has the hots for you and you told him you do not feel that way about him, he might not want to speak to you for quite a while. His ego has been bruised, and he’s embarrassed, so give him time to himself for a bit. There is, of course, the possibility that your friendship won’t recover from this, but that’s just a maybe.

I’ve had guys tell me they wanted to be more than friends with me, and it was quite awkward because I didn’t feel the same way. I let them down gently, but that didn’t change the circumstances. Many times, I would later find out they were only friends with me because they thought they had a chance to date me later on.

When the guy’s true intentions are romantic, and you don’t share those feelings, there is a chance that he’ll not want to be friends again. This doesn’t always happen, but be prepared for the chance that it might happen. You’ll want to turn to your other friends if he ditches you, especially if you feel sad and lonely after the relationship has ended.

8. He thinks you are too high maintenance

Many guys ditch their girlfriends because they feel that they are just too much trouble for someone they aren’t having sex with. If they knew they had a romantic interest in the relationship, they might be able to put up with much more, but because they do not, they don’t think the girl is worth as much trouble as she is.

If this sounds like you, you can try to work on this. Work on being less needy and more independent. Remember that you are fully capable of doing things yourself. I know that it’s easier if you ask a guy to change the lightbulb because they are taller, but you can get a ladder and do it yourself. Be an independent woman who isn’t dependent on men.

9. You need to apologize for something

you need to apologize for something

Have the two of you talked about an instance when you should have apologized and didn’t? I once had a friend that didn’t want to let me know she was resentful over something, so I never know what needed to be fixed. If you think your guy friend is upset over something but don’t know what it is, ask him to clarify the situation.

You might have to think back over the past few months if he isn’t speaking to you. What has happened that you might need to say you are sorry for? When you think of something that could be the culprit, let him know what you are specifically sorry about. Hopefully, he will feel sorry, and you can make things right easily.

10. He’s tired of being your second choice

Some men require lots of attention. They don’t like being number two - second to school, work, family, friends, or the men you are dating. If you think your guy friend is just missing you, make more time for him. Find ways to put him first when things come up unexpectedly. Although it’s not always easy, doing this will help your relationship.

11. He doesn’t approve of the men you date

If you’ve known this guy for your entire life or he’s like a brother, you may want to listen to him when he says you have bad taste in men. He’s got your best interests in mind; he’s looking out for you. It’s important to him that you don’t get hurt, and he doesn’t want to witness you making poor choices. Consider hearing him out and taking his advice.

I once had a guy I was dating who was very bad for me. He just made me make poor choices; I started doing things I knew were bad for my health and other relationships. Soon, my guy friends were telling me that I needed to end the relationship or they wouldn’t have anything to do with me; they were sick of what it was doing to me.

On the other hand, if you don’t think that’s why he’s ignoring you, he might disapprove of the men you date and be tired of watching your love life end in a disaster. He may have your best interests in mind, or he may just be jealous. It depends on whether he has romantic feelings for you or not. You may need to think about his motives.

12. You stood him up

No one enjoys waiting for hours, only to be forgotten about. Have you done this recently to this friend? It may be time for an apology if so!

13. He is fighting with your date

Are you dating someone who is always around? Does your guy friend not get along with him? This could be why he is not paying attention to you right now. Maybe he doesn’t want to argue with this man or have it belittle him in front of you. There could be many reasons why he doesn’t like the dude you’re dating but think it over.

You may be in a position where you need to pick one or the other. I always made the mistake of picking the guy I was dating over my good guy friends; I would reconsider doing this if this is the situation you are in. Dates come and go, but good friendships can be lifelong investments.

14. He is jealous

One of the more obvious choices here is that he’s just jealous of the attention you are giving someone else. Maybe you have been neglecting your guy friend too much lately. Could this be what’s going on? Only you can determine this. If you think he’s jealous of someone, you may have to have a heart-to-heart with him about the problem.

This is especially true if the people he is jealous of are not going anywhere. If he’s jealous of your family members, there’s not much you can do about that. You can try to make more time for your friend, but that isn’t going to change your familiar relationships. They will always be a big part of your life because they are your family.

15. He’s got a new friend

There’s always the possibility that you’ve been replaced as his tightest friend. If he has chosen someone else over you, you might need to meet some new people and make your own new friends! There’s no reason you can’t fill your life with other valuable people who can enrich your life. Think about what is going to benefit your life the most.

16. He doesn’t want you to be jealous

Has he got a new girlfriend, or is he dating someone that you don’t approve of? Maybe he is sick of you badmouthing her or giving him dirty looks when she’s around. You may have to choose to keep your mouth shut and accept this new girl or move on to another friendship that doesn’t have this guy in it.

17. He doesn’t want to be around you dating guys

Some guys, even when they are just friends, can’t stand to compete with other men. They just don’t want to do it. They don’t want any guy to be in your life except them. This may be fine when you are single, but once you’ve started dating around again, this is really an unreasonable request. You may need to reevaluate your friendship. 

18. He is secretly dating your friend

Is it possible that your guy friend is dating one of your pals, and you don’t know about it? Maybe they are keeping this from you for a reason. You might have to think about this one to see if it could possibly be true for you.

19. He was told to stay away from your support group

Do you think maybe your friends or a family member asked him to stay away from you? It could very well be why he’s backed off. Think about when the last time he was around those people to determine if this could be the reason he’s ignoring you. 

20. He feels used

Some guys don’t want to feel like they are only around you when you need something. They want to know you value them as people, not just tools. Maybe your guy friend is a pro when it comes to fixing computers or clogging the toilet, but isn’t there another reason you hang out with him? Do you enjoy his company? Do you talk for hours?

If you are only using him for his skills or talents, you may want to rethink your relationship. Maybe you need to pay him for his time, especially if the relationship is one-sided. Instead, find a way to give back. How can you do something great for him for all the hard work he does for you? Maybe bake him a batch of your famous cookies!

21. He has feelings for you

he has feelings for you

There’s always the chance that your friend really is in love with you. Watch for the signs this is the case in your relationship. Does he look longingly into your eyes? Does he make you feel a little uncomfortable? There may be something going on that you aren’t totally picking up on. If he’s got the hots for you, you may need to have a talk.

Have you told him many times that there is no chance for the two of you to hook up? If you have made it clear, you may want to evaluate this friendship to determine if it’s working in the way that it should. If you think of him as more of a brother and he keeps hitting on you, he may be ruining things for the two of you. Think it over and talk to him.

22. You haven’t been making time for him

Is it possible your guy friend feels neglected? Do you “fit him in” to your schedule? Are you distracted the whole time you are with him? If that’s the case, you need to spend some quality time with your friend. Show him that he’s important to you.

23. He was told to stay away from your boyfriend

If your man told him to back off, you might not know about it. If it’s been a few days, talk to your friend to find out why he’s ignoring you. If he says it has something to do with your man, you may have to talk to your beau to find out why he disapproves of your guy friend.

24. He doesn’t love you like he thinks you do him

Whoa! You mean he thinks YOU love him, and he doesn’t feel the same? Is that true for you? If you don’t feel love in a romantic sense toward him, you may want to clarify things so that there isn’t a misunderstanding going on. 

25. You were rude to him

If you were rude or mean to him, he may just need some time away from you. Sometimes, having space between two people can truly help in an argument. Let him have all the time he needs. Then, make sure you apologize for your behavior. 

26. He said I love you, or you did

If one of you said the L-word and the other didn’t, it could make for a very awkward situation. I think you need time to sort out the feelings that are going on between the two of you. Pray for wisdom and clarity, and you’ll surely know what to do over time. Just don’t rush into things; you don’t want to ruin the friendship over a silly moment.

27. You forgot a special occasion

If this is the case for you, you’re probably kicking yourself right now, thinking, “Oh! I did forget his birthday!” Maybe to make up for it, you can do something really special for him. Have a big surprise party for him or buy him something very personal and unique to show that you do truly care; you just forgot! Also, apologize for the mishap!

If he’s into fishing and hunting, you could buy him some of his favorite camo gear. Whatever his passion in life is, find something that would suit him perfectly. He’ll know you went to a lot of trouble to get him something very special and specific to his taste. This will mean a lot and go a long way towards making up for you missing the day.

28. You shared his secret

This one is tough to recover from. You may have broken his trust in a way that cannot be restored. Trust is one of the most important parts of any relationship. You can try to say you are sorry for this one, but it may be too late. At least you have learned your lesson for the next time around.

29. You talked about him behind his back

Gossiping is another terrible sin in a relationship. It’s nearly unforgivable, but he may get over it over time. Just give him the time he needs after you apologize for this. You don’t want him to think you will ever do this again; just explain that it was a weak moment and won’t ever happen again. Then, don’t allow this mistake to repeat itself!

30. His friends don’t like you

There isn’t much you can do about this one if he’s already made up his mind. The best thing you can do is to realize that you are worth a million bucks, and he doesn’t deserve you if he’s listening to those fools over you! Remember, you are valuable and can get a new friend, someone who treasures every second with you!!

31. You weren’t a good friend to him

you weren't a good friend to him

How will you know if you were a good friend to him or not? Let’s look at the top traits of a good friend, according to Psychology Today. A good friend is trustworthy, honest, dependable, and a good listener. Have you been that way with your guy friend? Do you talk all the time, never to let him speak? Do you ask him questions?

Are you honest with him? Can he trust and depend on you whenever he needs a real friend to turn to? A good friend is also empathetic and not judgmental. Empathy just means you can put yourself in the other person’s place and see where they are coming from. Are you good at that? Do you judge your pal when he gives his opinion?

A great pal is also supportive, funny, and fun to be around, according to the article. Do you have a good time with him? Do you make sure he’s having a great time? Do you enjoy his company? Do you support him through thick and thin? Think about these traits as you evaluate your friendship to decide if it’s working or not.

FAQs

What do you do when your guy friend ignores you?

If your guy friend gives you the cold shoulder, there may be a problem in your relationship, or there could be some confusion over something. Maybe there was a misunderstanding. Have you made him mad recently? For whatever reason, he doesn’t want to be in your presence. Chat about it.

What does it mean when a guy friend starts ignoring you?

If a guy ignores you, he could’ve gotten busy or maybe just lost interest in you. He may be sending you a message that he doesn’t want to deal with the problem between you right now; he may have interest in a new girl and not want your friendship anymore.

How do you respond to being ignored?

I would find out the reasons behind the problem in the friendship. Have a conversation about your thoughts on the subject. Watch for the signs that he just doesn’t want to be friends anymore. It’s best to talk out any reasons that he may be ignoring you.

Should I talk to him after he ignores me?

I would have a conversation to find out the reasons he has decided to ignore you. If you already know what the reasons are or see signs he wants to end the relationship, you may just want to give him space and time to sort through it all.

Why do guys give the silent treatment?

If a guy ignores you, he may have his reasons. Maybe he is upset about something, has been losing interest in you for a long time now, or just got busy. If a guy ignores you, the best way to handle it is to have a conversation about the reason he’s mad.

To Sum It All Up

What reason is your guy friend mad at you? What do you think happens when a guy ignores you? What is the best way to handle it? We’d love to hear your thoughts or feelings on the subject. Please leave a comment below, and share this on social media!

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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