My Partner Does Not Give Me Attention And I Feel Unloved - What Should I Do?

Last updated on July 8, 2024 by Michelle Devani

When your partner does not give you the attention you deserve, it can be undoubtedly frustrating, confusing, and painful.

And if you have to repeat yourself for them on a daily basis and cannot help but realize that they are not fully present when you are having a moment together, this can take a toll on you and your relationship, especially your self-esteem.

When you are faced with this kind unpleasant situation, maybe it is time for you to take a closer look at your chemistry with your partner in order to know the cause of this attention-grabbing problem.

So, what should you do when your partner does not give you attention? You do not have to sit back and wait for them to change because you have more power than you think. You may also read My Boyfriend is Ignoring Me, What Must I Do Apart from Finding Another Boyfriend? Below is a list of things you can try.


1. Address The Issue Head-On

address the issue head-on

Be honest with them. Tell them how it makes you feel when they spend all their time working, hanging out with other friends, playing video games, or something else. You may also read How to Let Your Boyfriend Know You Need More Attention.

However, try not to guilt or shame them because they are not the partner you want. They must have chosen not to spend time with you for a reason.

Also, do not repeat yourself over and over again because it does not help to keep telling them that you are lonely, sad, confused, and frustrated due to limited attention they give you. They heard you the first time and if they wanted to change, they certainly would.

2. Create A Life Outside Your Relationship

This is actually the most important as well as the most fun thing to do when your partner does not spend enough time with you: Create your own fulfilling, interesting, and exciting life to enjoy! You may also read This is What to Do When Your Boyfriend Ignores You for 3 Days or More.

The best way to respond to a partner who does not have time for you is to make a life you love. Realize that you do not have to make him the center of your existence. So, find whatever it is that inspires and energizes you. Ask yourself, “What makes me happy?”

Your partner is indeed part of your life but they are not your whole life. The healthier and happier you are, the more attractive you will be to them.

3. Give Them Space

Try to turn the volume down, give your partner space, and see what happens next. Be nicer and gentler, and see if they come toward you a bit more.

This suggestion might feel counter-intuitive on any level. It is really understandable if you are afraid that if you get quieter, they will definitely not notice you. However, if this is true, just like in so many relationships, that they care more than you realize when you give them space, they may start to pay a bit more attention.

They may not feel as criticized and threatened by you, and like a turtle coming out of its shell, they may start to check things out a bit more.

4. Appreciate Them More

appreciate them more

When you appreciate your partner, their spirit swells, their energy goes up, and the willingness to make you happy increases; they will feel good and their capacity for relating will grow.

Appreciation can help them feel connected and loved. You can say something that is really simple like, “I think you are fantastic!” or “I think you are great!”

And then, give them a kiss that will blow their mind. They may feel appreciated, may be able to relax defending his superior posture of rebuttal or non-cooperation. They may suddenly feel inclined to consider ways to spend more time with you.

5. Introspect

If you feel unloved because your partner does not give you attention, then ask yourself, “What do I want?” You want to be loved and want attention. The real question is: Have you ever tried to catch their attention by every means possible?

Or, have you ever tried to show them affections and at the same tell them that you want them to reciprocate, proactively? Have you and your partner ever really had a straightforward conversation about your relationship?

If the answer to all or most of the questions above is yes, and the results you got back are not as you expected, then you should stop working out with them. It means that they are selfish, even when you instantly try to be selfless.

So, those are things you can do when you feel unloved because your partner does not give you attention. If none of those works for you, then remember that you have a choice when it is only one sided to know your self-worth and walk away.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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