In this modern day, being gay is a liberty. LGBTQ community is thriving and everyone can be openly gay. But maybe you are questioning your boyfriend’s sexuality. Maybe he have an exquisite fashion sense, or he doesn’t act how a man should, or maybe you just feel like something is off about him. Let us help you reveal who he truly is.
What does the term ‘gay’ means?
So what does the term ‘gay’ means anyway? Well, the term ‘gay’ is used for a guy who is homosexual, meaning that he is romantically attracted to men. Gay people is not uncommon or exclusively related to modern centuries. In fact, it have been in this world for a long time.
What makes a difference is the liberty of expressing it as of right now. Maybe the guy you are observing still won’t admit that he is gay, or he is using the term ‘closeted’. But people believe that there are some stereotypes that is linked strongly to gay people. Let us help you reveal his true self by telling you some of these stereotypes and this is the signs of a boy being gay:
- Exquisite taste in fashion
Well, let’s not get this wrong. Not all men who dress well are gay. But sometimes people who is gay have a unique eye for fashion. It is as if they’ve got an eye of a woman for clothes. They have a keen eye for colors, fashion styles, trends and they can even give woman advice when woman are picking out clothes. They know almost everything about fashion, it sometimes is suspicious.
- Rejecting dates with girls
This is quite straightforward. A guy who is gay will not ever be interested in woman. Usually man excitedly talk about woman and see woman as a prey in the dating life. But gay men see woman as a friend rather than a date. You can also see that gay man mostly make friends with woman rather than man.
They also don’t talk about woman except to gossip or a casual talk. To put this to the test, try setting your questionable friend with a beautiful girl. Say that she is super pretty,nice, just make her look perfect for him. See how he reacts. If he say no ask him why and listen to what he might say. This might be a big clue to tell if he is gay.
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- He looks at men in a different way
When going out, instead of looking at pretty girls, he looks at butch men. A gay guy will tend to check out guys often. But if he is still closeted, certain responses to his own tendency will appear. He will start looking away quickly, blushing and looking down for a long period.
This is a way for him to fight his own tendency and conceal the thing that he just did. So when you see your guy friend or boyfriend starts looking at guys in a different way for a long period, he might be in the gay area already. That’s one of the signs of a guy being gay yet we can’t judge them in the wrong way.
- Weirdly homophobic
This may be uncommon and strange. But usually, a way to tell if he is gay is when he is super anti-homosexuals or as we call homophobic. A guy is usually pretty chill about gay guys, except when they started hitting on him. But even if this gay guy started flirting, men usually politely reject their offer. A gay guy however, is ashamed of his sexuality and is trying to prove to you that he is not gay. The way to do it is to shoo every hay related things away from him.
- Strange social media contacts
When a gay guy is closeted, he won’t openly give in to his homosexual tendency in the real world. But he may lean to his tendecy and express himself in social media. You can detect this by seeing who he follows and what he have been reading. If he follows a lot of guy models and hot guy accounts, he is probably gay. Or you can detect this if you see him message a lot of guys often, and not in a strictly friendly way. So if it is down to the wire, you may need to hack into his phone and check out his social media.
- He loves to hear about other people’s sexuality
Out of nowhere he hears that someone in the circle of his friends is gay or is coming out and you see him look so alert by the news. This may be the sign that he is gay. A gay guy who is closeted is very alert to news that is about gays or people who is coming out. He also likes to ask more in depth question about this seemingly normal news. This kind of news actually gives them a confidence and safety needed to actually come out one day.
- Sensitive around men
Gay guys often feels trapped in a relationship with other people he have not confess too. So he turns away to his gay friends or just guy friends. If he does not open up in front of you but instead he opens up or even cry to other men, it may be possible to conclude that he is gay. He is more sensitive to other men because they see them as welcoming and they will ultimately feel safe to just be themselves in front of them.
More signs to know
More signs of a guy being gay that you need to know:
- You see him wearing your clothes
- Your make up is used by him
- He starts disappearing to an occasional job outside of town for no clear reason
- Gay bars is his go to place
- He is more flirty around men
- You see him hanging out too close and too often with a guy friend
- He is scared to be intimate with women
- A lot of his friends in social media is gay
- He talks a lot about gay people in social media
Things to remember before assuming and questioning
After knowing signs of a guy being gay, now let’s be wise to read this following tips to not judge people wrong.
- Not all gay people are the same
Not all people in a group show the same traits and we should not expect this from gay people. They might clearly show these signs or they could be really masculine. Your sexuality does not dictate your behavior. Therefore it is important to remember that these signs are just common things from observations.
- Do not judge them for their femininity
A guy who is feminine does not necessarily mean that he is gay. Masculinity should not be damaged by any form of a feminine gesture.
- Do not judge them for their interest
Maybe they like to watch romance movies or listen to k-pop. This does not make them tip to the term gay. A thing they are interested in should always be neutral in terms of gender and should not imply anything to their sexuality
How to know if he is gay
Confused? Well you should not be. These signs may make you kind of sure that he is gay. But knowing from him would be the best way to find out if he is gay, isn’t it? Making him confess might end up awkward and hurtful, but we will not let it happen. See these steps before asking him straight on:
- Know your reason for knowing
Know why you want to know if he is gay. Curiosity will not do the trick. You need to have a strong reason to make her confess to you. Maybe this is because you want to help him or because you are on a relationship with this guy and it will hurt you not to know. Make sure that before you plan the next move you have a crystal clear reason.
- Express your support to the gay community
To properly come out, he will want someone that is ready to accept him. To fulfill this, vaguely expressing your support to the gay community will make him feel more safe. Do not make such a big scene out of this. Just casually tell him that you support the gay community without referring directly to him.
- Have some alone time
Coming out is a big step in this person’s life and they most likely do not want to get humiliated by coming out in public. They want a safe space to pour years of secrets that he have kept. So find a way to get you guys alone in a quiet place and sit down with him. What not to do is to make the situation feels tense and scary because then it will resemble an interogation and it will make him not want to come out.
- Allow him to confess first
If you’ve done all of those steps, he will feel safer and he won’t be afraid to open up. Let him tell you about his sexuality first so he does not feel confronted. You can do this by asking a simple question ‘so, what have been going out in your life?’ Let him have his time to tell you.
Now that he feels safe, vulnerable and comfortable it is a great time to ask him about his sexuality. Before asking remind him that you will love him no matter what and that you will always be with him. And then simply ask about his sexuality
Now that you’ve know the common signs of a guy being gay, the do’s and dont’s of assuming and some specific tips to make him confess, we believe it is time for you to observe and do! Always respect people and their choice. Well, spread love for everywhere!