We all know that being in a relationship somehow makes you attach to your partner to some degree. It’s because your partner brings you joy and happiness that make you feel comfortable to be in the relationship.
When building the relationship, you expect them to give you love, support and companionship — and that’s totally fine, normal and healthy. However, despite all the things you expect your partner to shower you with, there are always boundaries. There are always things that you need to provide yourself.
Unfortunately, when your self-esteem is low and you fail to value yourself, you end up seeking for security from your partner. It makes you rely too much on them.
And even though it seems harmless, this dependency actually ruins yourself and your relationship slowly. To build your awareness, read these 5 reasons why you should not rely on your partner. Take these as tips on how to be a better lover so that you can develop the key habits to build a successful relationship.
1. You Forget Your Self Worth
Actually, the reason why you’re relying too much on your partner is because you’re unable to value yourself. Your inability makes you constantly try to seek for security in others.
And since your partner is there for you, and you expect them to give you comfort, support, companionship and all, you also expect them to give you security you fail to address for yourself. And thus, you rely on them.
And relying too much on your partner can make you feel even worse about yourself. As you expect them to give you everything you’re seeking for, you’ve also given away more of yourself than you should have. And you constantly seek for validation and recognition.
2. You Make Them as the Sole Reason of Your Happiness
It’s true that your partner will shower you with love and affection. However, instead of submission, relationship is more about exchange. This principal can be addressed as one of the most important things in a relationship. A romantic relationship is also about give-and-take.
When you’re relying too much on your partner, you somehow depend your happiness on them. Their action defines how your mood goes. And it’s totally not okay. Happiness is found within. You cannot expect someone to always make you happy. You’re the one that make yourself happy.
3. You Can’t Do Things on Your Own
You’re in love with your partner. Okay. You always want to spend your time with them. Okay. You find yourself not feeling fine when he/she’s not around. Not okay. This is a red flag that you’ve become too dependant on your partner. It leads you to a self belief that you can’t do things on your own.
This is not okay because instead of a healthy relationship where you find yourself and your partner supporting each other, you use your partner as a security blanket to keep you away from your insecurities. And that’s why you need to stop relying too much.
4. You’re Getting Obsessed with Your Relationship
So how do you know that you’re obsessed with your relationship? Easy. When your relationship is the center of your thought and decision, and you’re willing to spend most to all of your time for it, then you’re being obsessed with it.
If you find yourself relying too much on your partner and getting obsessed with your relationship, you can take them as signs your relationship is not working.
It’s true that a relationship can be a source of our happiness. But it shouldn’t be the focal point. Instead, it should be a complimentary that makes your life even way happier than how happy it already is.
5. You Make Your Partner Uncomfortable as You Expect too Much from Them
Since you’re relying too much on your partner, positioning him/her as your sole reason of happiness and making them as the center of your thought and decision, you’re also willing to give them your everything. As a result, you expect them to give you the same level of affection and sacrifices. It can become toxic as you demand too much to your partner.
And instead of a healthy, supportive one, your relationship turns out to be more like a parent-child relationship where your partner constantly need to look after you. This kind of dependency will only make your partner uncomfortable. And this feeling can be one of the reasons why a relationship fall apart.
Always remember that you can’t rely your happiness on others. Even though a relationship is a companionship, you also need to be independent for some points and not completely throw the responsibilities of yourself to your partner. That’s why you should not rely on your partner.