So you’ve finally got yourself a boyfriend; someone who isn’t afraid of labels, who actually lets you post him on your social media, and agrees to meet with your friends. As opposed to the usual one-night stand, he actually keeps calling you back. You’re overjoyed and excited but you notice that a few things are missing.
You realize that he only seems as excited as you do when it's time to get down and dirty. Then you begin to wonder if he truly likes you as much as you like him. You’ve tried to ignore all the signs and silence that voice telling you that he’s really not that into you, but you simply cannot ignore it anymore.
Sadly this is what a high number of women face in the dating world today. They crave companionship and that dreamy barbie and ken love narrative, so they jump head first into a relationship with the first guy that gives them an ounce of attention.
Most times, they end up with a guy who’s only interested in their body and not their minds and personalities. In addition, he isn’t willing or ready to experience them in their entirety. If you feel your boyfriend only wants your body, these signs will confirm your thoughts.
Women are complicated, it's true. We’re so complicated that sometimes, we can’t even understand ourselves. Women hate it when men objectify them but at the same time, they love to be admired. They like it when a guy calls them sexy or puts them in the ‘hot girl’ category. However, they don’t want that to be the one thing she’s liked for.
They aren’t wrong to want this. Every lady deserves a man who will love all of them and make them feel special. Someone who will recognize how sexy they are and how smart, thoughtful and talented they are at the same time. If he only likes one thing about you, you will realize it for sure.
The warning signs are always there, you can’t ignore them for long. The first thing you may notice is the way he speaks to you; if the only compliment you get from him involves your physical appearance, then there’s a high probability that his focus is on your body and not your person.
This one is tricky because most guys think and talk about sex a whole lot. Even a man who loves you will want to sleep with you a significant number of times in a week depending on his libido and schedule. Still, if he’s a great guy and he really likes or loves you, he would also want to have serious conversations with you.
If every topic of conversation ends with something seductive or all his jokes are dirty then he probably only thinks of you as a sex partner. To be sure about this, you could try bringing up a topic that is completely non-sexual.
For example, ask him about his family; what his parents do for work, if they’re retired, how many siblings he has, and what they do. If he gives you more than just a few word sentences, then perhaps there’s a chance that you both are on the same page and you could bond over something other than sex.
A conversation like this should lead to deeper discussions about his family life and upbringing. A guy who really likes you would want to share some pieces of his history and his mind with you. If he keeps trying to circle the conversation back to your body or sex, then he’s definitely only after one thing.
There’s nothing wrong with getting a little love from your boo when you spend time together, however, it shouldn’t always end with you in bed. If he’s only after your body, you’d realize that he manages to squeeze in sex every chance he gets. Whether you went to walk the dog, the gym or to visit your grandma together, he’ll always try to sleep with you at the end of the day.
A guy who truly loves you won’t use your hangouts as an opportunity to sleep with you, he would simply enjoy hanging out with you. He won’t go out of his way to sleep with you when you’re not in the mood. If this is your experience, you’ve got to start telling yourself the truth and take action.
It's hard to spot this particular sign because there are lots of introverted guys out there. Most guys’ idea of a good time is a day on the couch, watching a game with a beer in their hand. However, if 95% of your hangouts are at his place or your place, Netflix and chilling, then you may have a problem on your hands.
A guy who’s interested only in your body will prefer to spend time with you indoors. This is because he knows he has free access to your body the whole time. It's worse if he’s cheap, he will avoid taking you out on a real date so he could keep sleeping with you and save his money at the same time.
The difference between a body-hogging boyfriend and a boyfriend who’s simply a homebody is very little. If you have a boyfriend who truly likes you for you, he will be interested in the things you find fun. He won’t mind leaving his house to be with you because he enjoys sharing your hobbies with you. If it seems like you both spend too much time at home, then he’s probably after one thing.
Another sign he's in it for the body is his inability to keep his hands to himself. At first, you may think he's just so in love with you and that's why his hands are constantly all over you; it may not be true.
There's nothing wrong with a little PDA or a smack on the bum when he passes behind you at home, but when he's constantly grabbing your body parts you've got to know that there's a problem.
The most telling sign is if he touches you disrespectfully or unlovingly, especially when he’s just getting to know you. He'll hardly hold your hand, kiss your cheek or run his fingers through your hair. This is because he only wants to sleep with you, he doesn't really care about you.
If someone truly cares for you, they wouldn't pressure you into doing things you aren't comfortable doing. A true boyfriend who loves you will always study your reaction when he asks you to do stuff; especially sexual favors. A guy who loves you will back off if he notices that you are hurt or uncomfortable. Also, if you say no, he won't try to guilt you or emotionally blackmail you to get his way.
For example, some guys have asked their girlfriends if they could do something ‘adventurous’ like have a threesome or try having an open relationship. The answer is ‘no’ most of the time and it's understood. If you feel pressured into saying yes to something as daunting as this, that's a bad sign.
However, if the guy you're seeing directly or indirectly makes you feel like you owe him your body, you should be worried.
When sex is the center point of your relationship, it will be obvious. This is because whenever you think of your partner and your dates with him, sex will always come to your mind. Even your memories with him will mostly involve him sleeping with you.
There's nothing wrong with reminiscing about some steamy moments you shared with your beau, but if it's excessive he definitely isn't interested in you.
A relationship should involve more than just sex and physical stuff, you should enjoy other facets of life together. He should be your best friend and you should both enjoy talking to each other. You should be excited to go on dates, see movies together, go dancing, travel to explore different cultures, etc. If this is lacking in your relationship, perhaps you should re-evaluate.
This goes without saying, a guy who's after your body will always be the one to initiate sex. This is not because you aren't attracted to him and you don't have a functional libido, it's because he hardly ever gives you a chance to crave it.
If he's always the one giving you nudges then it's not hard to know what's constantly on his mind. You should ask yourself why he hardly ever nudges or encourages you to do something that would benefit you?
For example, start up that business you were always afraid to start up or face your fear or improve yourself. This is clearly because he doesn't care about all that, he doesn't care about your well-being or future. He's solely focused on your body.
Lots of couples are yet to realize that intimacy isn't only achieved in bed, there are so many ways you can bond with your partner. A partner who doesn't care about bonding and only cares about the sex will not even care about sharing non-sexual intimate moments with you.
Whenever you guys are talking or completing a task together, it seems mundane and sometimes even boring. The moment you hit the sheets though, the sparks come alive! This is a real problem, it means that you can't lead a meaningful life with this person.
Everything passionate about your love life lies in your lovemaking. That's a very limited relationship, you won't be able to enjoy your partner fully and he won't get to enjoy the lovely things about you.
Oh, he'll call after the first date alright, but it's not because he’s wondering how you're doing. He'll send you dirty texts, quotes, or GIFs and if he calls the conversation will always circle around what you're wearing (or not wearing), or he'll ask you to send him a provocative photo.
It's not that sexting and flirty calls are bad when you’ve started dating, but that can't always be the reason he's reaching out to you. A guy who cares about you will call just to hear your voice because he likes to hear you talk. Or he'll call to ask you out on a surprise date. He'll care about how you're doing and not just how your body is doing.
You'd think a guy who's after your body would take his time to relish it rushing to the main course. Sadly, it's the opposite. A guy who's after your body will rush through foreplay if he even cares to do it in the first place.
He won't care whether you feel good or if you feel anything at all, his primary focus is to have a happy ending. Foreplay is arguably the most pleasurable part of lovemaking; without it, it's just plain old penetration. It's like eating pasta without sauce.
A guy who's only after your body won't commit to pleasing you. The build-up to sex will mean nothing to him and he’ll have no idea how to gain pleasure from pleasing you either. All those things mean nothing to him, he just wants to reach his peak and be done with it.
It's no wonder women often complain about their partners turning round and sleeping off immediately after sex. It just seems like he got what he wanted and he doesn’t care about post-sex activities like cuddling. This is exactly how you'd feel after sex with your boyfriend if all he loves is your body.
For him, it's mission accomplished. He's got what he was looking for so there's no need for him to stick around. If he comes to visit, he'll be out immediately when the deed is done. Watch out for this.
If he ever texts at night it's to ask if you're willing to come over to his place for a quickie or if he should come over to yours. He'll hardly ever text, 'I'm up just thinking of you, I miss you' or something endearing.
If he's not asking you to come over so you both can get down and dirty, he'd be asking if you're awake so you can sext. His late-night messages would hardly be about checking on you or telling you how he feels about you, he'd focus only on the 'real deal'.
If you happen to meet a close friend of his or a family member it would be by accident. He may never intentionally introduce you to the rest of the people in his life. This is because he's never thought of you as a part of his life or at least someone who can become that.
His primary focus is how he can sleep with you at his convenience. Don't expect him to invite you to be his plus one at a relative's wedding or even for Christmas dinner, that would be way too personal for him. If he's only into your body, he'd want to keep your relationship at a casual level, it will never become anything serious.
There are several reasons a guy would be with you only because of your body. One of the reasons could be that he hardly got any action before he met you. Now that he's getting some at his convenience, he's ready to do anything to keep that even if it means agreeing to be in a relationship with you.
Another reason could be that you're pretty and he wants to boast to his friends that he's getting intimate with a hot chick. Some men even go as far as showing your photo or sext messages to their friends. This means he's solely in it for your body and it's an inexcusable offence, you should end that relationship immediately.
If you've noticed that he only shows up when there's a chance at a happy ending for him, then he's probably just after your body.
He never shows up for you when you're in need (for example, when you're ill or if you need help moving). He'd never come over just because he misses you and wants to see you, or just show up simply to spend time with you. He'd always make sure that there's something in it for him, he doesn't think coming to see you is worth his energy if he's not getting some.
Anyone who truly loves you and cares about you will show you some respect. It will show in the way he talks to you, the way he treats you, and even the way he looks at you.
He may go as far as flirting with other women in front of you or behind you. The shocking thing is that he'd be apologetic about it. He may even go as far as cheating and justifying the act.
Also, if he doesn't bother responding to your messages for days or weeks he's definitely just into your body. Anyone who cares about you wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings.
There are so many telltale signs that your boyfriend is only with you for your body. It will show in the way he treats you and the way he speaks to you. If he only cares about your body, he'll be disrespectful. He'll neglect your feelings and focus only on getting laid.
If a guy just wants you sexually, he'll never spend time with you if there's no chance of having sex with you. Even before you start dating, he won't be curious to get to know you. Chances are, that relationship started as friends with benefits. He'll simply focus on sleeping with you.
You can observe the way he talks to you. Does he include you whenever he's talking about his future? If he does, then there's a chance that he loves you. You could also watch how he acts when you're in need. Does he come over to check on you and perhaps help you out? If yes, then he probably loves you.
If your boyfriend is serious about you, he'll want to spend time with you whether sex is involved or not. He'll be endearing and treat you respectfully, he won't grope you rudely in public. Also, he'll want you to meet his friends and family, he won't be reluctant to introduce you to the people in his life.
A man who likes you but is hiding it may give you mixed signals. He'll flirt with you then step back, he may even go as far as ignoring you for a while. His body language will also give him away, if he avoids eye contact when you look directly at him then there's a chance he likes you.
I hope you found this article helpful. Remember, if you're with a guy who is only with you for your body, it will show; don't ignore the signs. Please let me know what you think about this article in the comment section below and be sure to share the article with friends.