Signs Of A Man Using A Woman For Money (21 Signs To Lookout For)

Last updated on May 13, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Are you worried that the man you’re seeing is only using you for your money?

Are you starting to see signs that he’s not really too interested in you as a person? 

This is one of the biggest fears (not to mention a huge turn-off) for rich women.

At the same time, it’s such a big worry for the wealthiest women that they can be prone to fearing it when it’s not even true. 

That’s why I wanted to publish this list of 21 signs that a man only wants you for your money.   

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Then, take a look at my list of the biggest red flags a gold-digging boyfriend can show.


21 Signs Of A Man Using A Woman For Money

In the past, men were known and trained to cater to women’s needs naturally. Reasons being that they had more strength and emotional ability to withstand any condition life threw at them. It went on like that for some time until the world gradually evolved to an equal one.

In today's world, there's a little change. Equality is the request of almost every woman’s voice. Responsibilities are shared more equally between the man and woman in a relationship. Like men handle some parts of the bill payment, women do that too, making as much money as men do, or even more.

Good relationships are based on love, trust, understanding, and many other things necessary for growth. However, not everybody gets involved in a relationship for love. Some people do it for the financial or other benefits their partner has to offer. When this happens, it hurts to hear your boyfriend ask for money or other favors without reciprocating.

It may be hard to know if a man is with you because of love or he's just a gold digger. There are many ways to tell if a man is using you for money. To help out, keep reading to know 21 signs of a man using a woman for money.

1. He handles the bills first

One good turn, they say, deserves another. Before a guy starts benefiting from your wallet, he'll be nice when you both first meet. He'll offer to pay any bill he can handle. Don't get this wrong; it doesn't mean every guy you meet that offers to pay your bills has it in mind to use you.

It means that if a man wants to be with you in the long term for financial benefits. He first charms you with his kind and warm gestures to encourage you to drop your guards with him because he knows he'll get back his money with time.

2. He always wants to know about your income

he always wants to know about your income

A man that plans to use you for money would always ask questions about your job, career, investments, or anything that brings money to your wallet. He'll be sure to relate most of your discussions to things that have to do with money.

It doesn't matter if he knows how thick your wallet is or not; he'll take time to say good compliments about your efforts, your material things (especially the pricey ones), and how well you're able to manage them enough to be successful. This is one of the warning signs of a man using a woman for money.

3. You'll hear stories about his financial difficulties

A proper introduction to a request for help is starting with sad stories. Of course, it's not a coincidence, and he doesn't want you to listen to him. He needs money and wants you to help. As long as he is concerned, you're a living cash machine to him.

He could go as far as saying he lost his credit card and wants money to attend to something urgent. Your man may not directly ask you for the money, but these stories are to manipulate you to release some funds for him to carry on with his plans. 

4. Your guts will tell you

When something doesn't feel right, you'll know. Except you're not giving it your attention or observing the way you should. The same thing applies to being in a relationship with a man that only cares about your money and how much he benefits from it. 

Try to observe the moments you have with your boyfriend, what you talk about, how he behaves, and how you feel when you're with him. Do you have a connection when you're together, or do you feel like it's forced? Don't forget; mixed feelings mean there's something wrong somewhere. You should check it.

5. He continually has financial issues

It's normal for people to have financial issues, no matter how rich you are, and it's not a man's fault for having tho crisis. At the same time, it's not your responsibility to sort all of them out for him, even if you're both in a relationship. 

You could support him in little ways; maybe agree to handle a considerable percentage of it to ease him a bit. But if he convinces you to do it all for him, or doesn't sound appreciative for your effort, then that's a red flag from him, and it means he's a good digger.

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6. His career life won't be as healthy as yours

If a man has a weak career, a low-paying job, or he's unemployed, he's most likely to depend on you for money. It's OK to be his support system, but if he's inconsiderate, he will take advantage of the situation. 

It will be obvious if he likes living higher or getting things above his budget or income and leaving you in a place where you have to take care of his responsibilities. Men like this put little or no effort into improving their financial status because they have you to fall back to, and it won't tell well on you.

7. You'll be the lender

you'll be the lender

Lending from you is a safe way of getting money from you to avoid any suspicion that he's using you. If a man you help with cash claims, he'll return it; it's to make you relaxed enough to give him the amount of money he wants at the moment without asking too many questions.

Of course, he may not pay back; he could pay a part of the money or do everything nice to make you forget about the money you lent him. This is one of the signs you should look out for in your relationship if you feel he's using you.

8. He loves pricey and flashy things

Men that use women for money never live on their budget. They adore fancy things and expect you to pay for them whether you're capable or not. They feel you should waste your money and buy unnecessarily pricey and flashy things.

A man that is using a woman for money would suggest you both go shopping, choose one of the most expensive restaurants to eat in, buy a flashy car, or suggest a costly spot for a vacation. Even if he helps with the bill, it will be little compared to what you'll pay.

9. You gradually start sponsoring his life

One of the signs of a man that is using you for your money is that he'll make you fall into sponsoring his basic life needs gradually without having to ask or pay back. It doesn't happen in one day; he'll study your ways and bring it up as an idea for you to support him until you accept. 

He would convince you to take him shopping, the movies, and do other things that are part of your plans. If you're not careful, you could sponsor his friends and family too, without knowing what you're doing exactly.

10. Unlimited request for favors

It's okay for a couple to ask each other for favors, but not all the time. At least there should be situations where they both solve their problems individually. A man who is with you for money would always ask for favors. If you're a softie for him, he may be open about it.

But, if you're hard to get, he may use emotional blackmail. He knows you love him and would cross rivers to grant his request, which is why he'll always come to you. This is another sign you should keep in check.

11. Little or no attention to your needs

Are you feeling alone in your relationship? That may be a sign your partner is just there for your money. You're human, and you need attention from him. Any guy that asks favors from you without caring about your emotional state is there to use you for money.

There's another trick here. He may ask you how you're faring as an introduction to open your heart to accept his request for cash help. You'd observe that he doesn't show affection to you as you care about him. That's a man that is with you for money.

12. Selfish compromises

Every good relationship includes selfless compromises from the partners involved. This means sacrifices that are good for one person without directly benefiting the other. When you're involved with a man whose aim is to use your money, he'll only make compromises that will suit him.

For instance, he could allow you to use his car while he takes a taxi because he knows you'll fix it if anything happens to his car in your care, and you'll pay his cab fare. So it's a win-win for him and a sign that he's a gold digger.

13. You start paying all the bills

you start paying all the bills

Paying all the bills means sorting his bills and yours, not yours alone. He'll use sweet and soothing words to make you believe you should help him out until he can stand on his feet financially while he does other little things to help you out.

Before you know it, you're paying his electricity, phone, and other bills without his intention of paying you back. As the situation may be, he could emotionally blackmail you to get him gifts without directly asking for them. It would help if you watched out for this act.

14. He won't be emotionally available

Any man that is with you, mostly for your money, will not have time to be there for you emotionally. Immediately he gets the cash, he's out. He'll always have an excuse to be somewhere, with someone else, or sort one of his numerous issues out. 

If you complain about something, he could say a word or two, claiming he wants to leave you to rest a bit. You won't have anybody to listen to you talk or discuss your day. He won't be there to laugh with you or cheer you up from your bad moods. 

15. Excuses that will need a cash solution

A man that is using you to get more money for himself will come up with excuses you can't resist. He'll tell you he's nearly successful with his career life, plans, or goals, but he needs more cash to put everything in the right place.

You'll also hear excuses like, “my car keeps giving me a headache. I think I should change it, or what do you think?” At this point, no matter the piece of advice you give to him, he'll still ask you to help him with some cash to sort it out. That's another red flag.

16. He'll borrow your valuable things

When you're dating a guy, and he's with you for the money, be rest assured that he'll borrow most of your valuable things to live a life he can't afford. It could be your car, credit card, or anything unisex you have that he can borrow.

He may or may not return them. Most of these kinds of guys don't return your things. They keep them on the basis that you're both in a relationship and what is yours belongs to them too. If you buy any new item and they love it, they'll borrow it with or without your consent and expect you to understand.

17. No discussion about a long-term relationship

Couples that are together because they love each other discuss the way forward. They talk about a promising future together, how to go about achieving it, and what they lack presently as a couple. If you're in a relationship with a guy and you don't do this, then he's in for the money.

Although, some of them could pretend to discuss it with you to get what they want. So you could watch their reaction when you mention your future to him. Any guy who loves you would be enthusiastic about being with you for a long time. If he's not, it's a sign he's with you for your cash.

18. He will be careless

There's a famous saying that you value things more when you pay for them. Carelessness with things comes when you don't pay for them with your money, and you're sure when it goes bad, someone else will fix them. This is how a man that is with you for your cash will behave.

He will rough handle things or waste cash because he's not paying for them and not working for the money. If anything goes wrong, you pay for it, and he'll calm you down, claiming it's nothing much to handle. No matter how little it is, it's a sign he doesn't love you.

19. No romantic gestures

What do I mean by no romantic gestures? They'll only be conditional ones; as a way to ask for more money from you without so much stress. Men know women love romantic gestures, and they use them most times to ask for favors.

If you're in a relationship with a man dating you for money, you won't get random gifts, surprise dates, paid vacations, or breakfast in bed. But, if you do, it's either they're using your cash to do them, or they're planning to ask for more money. It's always conditional.

20. Your loved ones will tell you

your loved ones will tell you

Your loved ones, friends, and family are part of the people that always have your back, especially in a romantic relationship. They see clearly than you do and would give you warning signs when they see a guy’s red flag. You can't see it all, but they'll tell you when you should let go.

At least, you'll have that one friend that says they don't like the guy you're dating, or they don't like how you have to do everything for him while he sits there enjoying it all. But this only applies if you have a set of people you're open to about most of your personal life.

21. You'll both have an issue when you say no

Another way to know if your partner is with you for money is through his attitude when you say no. A man that loves you would understand when you tell him you're financially unstable. He'll find an alternative or work harder on his own to get the money.

But a man who only cares about your money and not your feelings would get angry when you have no cash to give. He may be patient for a short time, so you don't know he's with you for the cash. But after some time, you'd quarrel, fight, or have some form of friction in your relationship.


How do I know if he's using me for money?

It will all be about finances. Your bond together will only grow stronger when you're financially stable, and he'll leave when he's gotten what he needs or he knows you're broke. If a man is using you for money, you'll observe that anything you talk about will be money and in his favor.

How do you test a guy to see if he really loves you?

Say no to some of his requests and see how he reacts. Ask him for favors that are not too much but enough to make him prove his love to you. Observe him whenever you're emotionally down and need his attention. Sometimes, you don't need signs; you know deep down he doesn't care about you.

How do you know if a guy just wants you sexually?

Guys that want women sexually have individual personalities. The best of them say the positive things you need to hear, sound and look perfect, and treat exactly like you've always imagined. A few of them may openly objectify your body features and use vulgar words if they feel you're interested.

How do you know if a man is not serious about you?

There are many signs to know when a man is not serious about you. He won't be interested in your personal affairs and may not open up about himself either. Instead, he may talk about things you're not so interested in and would get tired of reaching out to you after some time. 

How do you know if someone loves you secretly?

It depends on his personality. If he's shy, he may avoid you or tell some friends about it. But if he's not, he'll openly protect you from things and people he's not comfortable with, compliment you, and try to be there whenever you need his help. Sometimes, they may give you random gifts.

In Conclusion

If you're in a relationship you feel you're invested in and unsure if your man truly loves you or not, try looking out for the 21 signs I've mentioned. It will help you put many things in place. That being said, if you liked this article, don't forget to drop a comment and share it with others.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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