What To Do When Your Boyfriend Keeps Asking You For Money (17 Things To Do)

Last updated on May 14, 2024 by Michelle Devani

There's that notion that men shouldn't borrow from women, whether they're in a relationship or not. But, women are free to ask for money. How does that sound? If you're that generous person who would rather help your boyfriend than listen to him complain, you could always help his financial situation

However, not everyone is comfortable doing this, especially when it becomes frequent without logical reasons. It's even more tiring when there's no reciprocating from the opposite side. The majority of people fall into this category in relationships.

If you feel like things won't change if you talk to your boyfriend logically, there are numerous ways you could sort this out. Keep reading to learn 17 things you can do when your boyfriend keeps asking you for money.

Contents

17 Things To Do When Your Boyfriend Keeps Asking You For Money

1. Make a deal with him to return the cash

People appreciate things you charge them for. This also applies to your boyfriend. If he wants to borrow some money from you, you could make a deal to return it in kind or think of paying with interest. You can sort things out if you've been together for many years.

You can ask him to borrow the money from you as a loan. Say it playfully or seriously depending on your relationship together. The aim of doing this is to make him think of paying the borrowed money. This is what to do when your boyfriend keeps asking you for money.

2. Tell him to get a loan from somewhere

If your lover is a great guy but keeps asking you for money, and it makes you uncomfortable, one nice thing you can suggest is for him to apply for a loan that will give him the flexibility of paying back without stress. It shouldn’t be so he’ll return it.

So, if you don't feel like giving or lending money to your boyfriend, you could ask him to get a loan from someone or somewhere else. That way, you indirectly reduce his courage to ask you for money when next he needs it. This is what to do when your boyfriend keeps asking you for money. 

3. Suggest that he gets a little job to raise money

Getting a job makes you responsible. It makes anybody learn to save money and pay rent and other bills. It will make him take care of his own needs without bothering you all the time. So, the fast you suggest this to him, the better for you two. 

That’s because it will make him rely less on you. The advantage of telling your lover to get a job to raise the money he needs is, he won’t need to borrow from you, he’ll know what it means to spend hard-earned money on someone else, and it will help him pay past debts.

4. Tell your boyfriend to ask his family members

Borrowing money is not a bad thing, but it’s best to borrow money from people who trust you to pay back. This is something you should tell your boyfriend. He should borrow money from people he won’t have issues with when he doesn’t pay back.

Explain your reasons to him and convince him to borrow the money from them to avoid any mishaps in the future. You're only trying to save yourself from unnecessary compromise and future stress of always lending money to him. 

5. Ask him why he needs the cash

Ask your boyfriend his reasons for doing certain things you need answers to. You're not intruding. It's good communication. A good lover won't mind explaining it to you. If he's reluctant about giving you a clue, it's a sign he doesn't truly love you.

It may be an emergency at night. It could be something mutually beneficial to both of you. If it is, you could support him. Healthy relationships are about individuals supporting one another. Maybe, he needs the money to settle a few things to make you both comfortable, especially if you both plan to get married.

6. Don’t always give in easily

don't always give in easily

When your lover always asks you for something, whether he wants to borrow money or needs help for something you don't really understand, make sure you do well to communicate to know the pros and cons of what he wants to do.

Don't accept without knowing his reasons for doing it. Even if you're a millionaire, let him work for it. That's because life is not a bed of roses and you don't make money for someone else to spend, whether it's your partner or not. Delaying a bit will discourage him from asking for money.

7. Suggest alternative solutions to his problem

People forget other alternatives of living life, especially when they know that they can always fall back to someone else who has a soft spot for them for solutions. When your partner comes looking for money, suggest that he sells his phone.

It could be another valuable belonging of his or something of great value, depending on the amount of money he needs. That way he'll pause and think for a bit to know if what he needs is a necessity or not. This is what to do when your boyfriend keeps asking you for money.

8. Help your boyfriend with some cash if you have it

There's no rule that says that it's wrong to help your lover. Yes, it could be annoying and tiring to be the first and last person for your lover to run to for help. But, you should also think, does he try his best to help you when you need him?

If he does, you should also do your best to help him in the best way you can. If not, that's a toxic relationship, and it's a sign that you should reconsider staying in it. This is what to do when your boyfriend keeps asking you for money. Give it to him.

9. Don’t make him feel that it’s right to always ask you for money

Many people make the mistake of assuring their lovers that they should come to them for help no matter how impossible it is. Please don't do this. It's okay to help your partner, but don't give them false hope when you can't. 

If you can't help, tell him. There's no point in feeling guilty for this. This way, he'll keep it on his mind that his girl would not always be there for him financially. Sometimes, even if you have, but don't feel it's necessary to give him, learn to say no.

10. Tell your boyfriend you can’t give him the money if you have needs to take care of

Everybody has needs to take care of. If you have money, but have bills to take care of, and feel you can’t give your boyfriend the money, please let him know. You may feel uncomfortable doing this, but it’s no big deal. He should know you have issues to sort.

Even if you feel sad about being unable to give him money, remember you have things to sort out, too. A good partner would understand this. If he makes you feel guilty, it’s a sign that he’s inconsiderate and selfish in the relationship. You should do this when your boyfriend always asks for money.

11. You can trade his request for something else

There are numerous ways to trade your lover’s request for something in return. For instance, you could tell him to help you with the house chores, while you give him the cash equivalent. That way, it’s more like he’s being paid for the job done.

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When you do this severally, you get to indirectly reduce the number of times he asks you for money. That’s because he’ll get tired of having to do something to get paid and he’ll calculate how to spend his money.

12. He should know how it makes you feel whenever he asks for money

he should know how it makes you feel whenever he asks for money

Telling your lover how you feel whenever he asks you for money is good communication. If you feel it’s wrong for him to do this, let him know. If you’re also hurt because you sacrifice everything for him, he should know too. 

If you’re worried that he’ll keep depending on you for financial help, let him know. These are the things that will help keep him on track. If they don’t, it’s a sign that your relationship is toxic, and you should rethink it.

13. Try your best to support him in other ways

Most times, all guys need is a little support from their girl. Guys want to know that you're there for them as you promised when you started dating. Your lover wants to know how much you value and respect him

So, the least you can do is support him in other ways. These ways include emotional and moral support. He wants to know you'll be there for him no matter what may happen. Guys like you know you're not taking advantage of them.

14. You could simply tell him you don’t have the money if he’s a tough person

Most guys are tough and won't take any reason you tell them. The only proof you can give is that you don't have the money. Talk to him calmly. Give him all the reasons to believe that you don't have the money.

It's not easy talking to a tough guy, but it's something you can do if you're dating one. Tell him you'll help if you get the money soonest. But, make sure you don't have any money around, if not you could lose everything.

15. Tell him the money you have belongs to someone else

You can always say that the money you have belongs to someone else. Let him know that you’re not familiar with the person, so he doesn’t ask you to give it to him with the excuse that he’ll return it. Guys who are desperate do this a lot.

Tell him this even if your partner has a short temper and may most likely get angry hearing this as an excuse for not giving him money. If he’s calm he could be hurt. But, you shouldn’t displease yourself to please anybody.

16. Ask him to give you some time to ask someone else for the money

This is one of the best things to do if your boyfriend keeps asking you for money. It delays the process. From his reaction, you would also know if he's using you or if he's in the relationship wholeheartedly. If he's angry when you delay, it could be a sign he's using you for money.

If you talk to him and he looks like he'll understand it you can't get him the cash, he may be with you because he loves you. If your boyfriend is loving, he won't try to blackmail you emotionally for not giving him the money. Instead, he'll find other alternatives.

17. If it causes issues, you could break up with him

Most people think it's hard to find someone they love when they leave their present boyfriend. Every relationship should add value to one's life and not drain them emotionally. The most important thing is your mental health. You respect your lover, but you also value your emotions.

As much as you may hope for the best, having a healthy relationship is not about enduring red flags. It's about complimenting your self-worth. Don't make a big mistake by staying in your relationship when you've noticed things are going in the wrong direction. 

FAQs

How do you know a man is using you for money?

When a guy is using you for money, you’ll observe that he doesn’t care about you. He’ll be selfish and only engage you in a conversation when he needs something from you. He won’t want to compromise and he’ll be reluctant to do anything concerning you.

Is it bad for a man to ask a woman for money?

By right, it’s not okay to ask or borrow anything bad in doing anything that would make your life comfortable or easier for some time. But, if it’s going to be, it’s not bad for anyone to ask the other for money, especially when they’re both in a relationship. That’s because relationships are all about supporting one another.

What do you do when someone keeps asking for money?

Let them know if you can’t help them. Tell you you have plans for the money. It could be house bills, buying your dream house, car, or anything another thing you wish to achieve. Sometimes, people need to hear the truth from you to take a step back from asking for money.

How do you know if he's just using you?

When a man is using you, he'll only remember to call or send a text message when it's for his benefit. It will also be hard for him to receive your calls or respond to you whenever you need help. You won't feel his effort in trying to make you happy and he'll have little or no time for you.

What do you do when your boyfriend has financial problems?

You shouldn't jump into giving him money even when you have. That's because it would only be a short-term solution. You could expand the topic. Get to know his skills and how well they can help him overcome the situation. Plan strategies and push him to start executing them while you support him.

In Conclusion

It's not a bad thing to help your boyfriend when he needs money. However, remember to let him know when you can't. You could read this article again to learn the 17 things I mentioned. if you have difficulties doing it. I hope this article helped you. If it did, please drop a comment, and share it with your loved ones.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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