Divorce can be very traumatic, especially if the causes are not good enough to talk. It brings many effects both for the children and the parents. Sometimes it can make the children having trust issues with their parents or even hate them.
On the other hand, it also can make the parents having trust issues too to love because now they are a single parent. Like what we are talking about on dating tips in your 30s, taking care of a child while doing their job as usual without no one help can be so stressful. It takes all their time and sometimes it can make them even not thinking about looking for a new partner.
You like it or not, having someone who can back you up and sharing about your problem is very helpful. Even though you were traumatized by your last relationship it does not mean that you are no longer need other person help.
That is not the end, we all knew that everybody needs to be loved by someone else because being alone for a long time can be so lonely. That is why single parents need to look for a new partner although yes, I agree that looking for a new partner for a single parent can be so troublesome.
There are a lot of problems that may stop you from looking for a new partner such as have no time to do that, your children's permission, and the complication of the relationship itself. Here are the tips, for a single parent like you to start casual dating as well:
The first point of starting a new relationship after having a divorce is readiness. Ask yourself first why do you want to date someone new? Do you need it or its just because you feel lonely sometimes? Make every decision on your own needed and don't let people push you.
It's very okay if you get your new partner at the age of 40 or even 50, age is not the most important consideration of a marriage, all the matter is readiness. And if you wanna date someone new because sometimes you feel lonely maybe you just need to do casual date or maybe you can fill your day with a positive activity such as play with your children or volunteering. You can read signs you are already ready to start a new relationship after a heartbreak to ensure that you really need it or not.
If you are sure that you need to date someone new then you are going to the hardest part of this article. Explain something to your children can be so hard because they have their own perspective.
As a kid, they may blame you for what happens and hope that you will back instead of looking for someone new. Even if you are single because your partner has died, some kids may think that you have to be loyal.
Try to talk carefully to your children that you need a new partner, tell the reason, and say that it does not mean you are not loyal. It's okay if you need to wait until your children mature enough to understand it because something good takes time.
Being a parent means that you can't make any decision on your own because you need to think about your children. Especially for choosing a new partner, you need to choose the one who likes your children and also liked by your children.
You need to make sure that your new partner is don't mind with your children like his or her child. Know your new partner as well so you will not regret choosing him or her.
Do not doubt to reject a person if you find he or she can't love your children or even showing a bad attitude to them. Remember that your children's happiness is number one.
As I said before, you don't need to be hurry because everything good takes time to include choosing a new partner to live. Observe your new partner as well, know everything about him or her, plan everything together, and don't forget to set an expectation both from your side and your partner's side.
Do not be stressed if you can't get your lovely one easily or you need to try many times to get your new partner. One of the signs that he or she is the right one for you is you feel comfortable with him or she so leaves your new partner if it brings you more problems. Take it easy like when you were young and single.
Build a relationship is always about being honest and communicating. Be honest from the first you start to date, tell your lover how many children you have, how are their characteristics, what kind of obstacle you facing off and how is your expectation toward your relationship later.
It is better if you are good enough to share what the problem you were facing off with your ex-partner and your new one are not those types of problems. Looking for a partner is a long journey and you don't need to hurry especially if you have a child or more.
Be patient until you find the matchest one so you don't need to repeat your mistake on the past. Read relationship advice if you are dating someone with a kid.
Maybe you like to read first date conversation ideas to make your date attracts to you and things you should not do during the first date so you have a better first date.