If Your Boyfriend Never Compliments You What It Means (11 Possible Things It Could Mean)

Last updated on May 14, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Relationships are like fun building blocks where both parties should feel loved, cherished, and special. Of course, the first few days, weeks, and months are usually really magical. You would rarely wear a new look or hairstyle without your partner staring romantically or giving you a sensual compliment. 

Oh, the days? Right?! Well, don’t be fooled by people who either say the relationship has gotten old or some guys are not just the complimenting type. If he raves about his own looks, talks about other people's style, or is even more than descriptive when talking about food, tech, and Marvel, then he can compliment you. 

Besides, it’s hard watching other couples compliment each other freely when your man doesn’t utter a word no matter how hard you try. That would make any woman feel alone, envious, and even unloved. So, why would a guy who claims to love his girl not compliment her in the first place? Let’s get to the bottom of this together. 


11 Possible Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Won’t Compliment You 

1. You haven’t required him to

So many women are almost timid with expectations. We want to feel appreciated, but feel scared to put it out there. There’s nothing wrong with letting your partner know that you love compliments. No, it’s not needy behavior, you’re simply letting him know how you want to be loved. 

Maybe you feel like he’ll start thinking that you need appreciation to thrive or feel attractive. However, if you know that you’re not just trying to get attention, but will like to feel seen and appreciated by the person you love, go ahead and require him to do so. 

2. He equates compliments with flattery

Has your boyfriend been reluctant about paying anyone compliments from the very beginning? Then you may be interested in this next theory, his lack of compliments may be due to other reasons that can be validated. Some people equate giving compliments with flattery. This may be a reason why it seems your boyfriend doesn’t notice all the effort you’re putting in. 

People who don’t give compliments, most times would be the first to roll their eyes when they receive one. They just don’t think it’s real or necessary to dote on someone. Such people usually give backhanded compliments instead. They prefer to replace compliments with sarcasm, which may not necessarily be a bad thing if it doesn’t annoy the hell out of you. 

3. He’s taking you for granted

If you start receiving fewer compliments from your boyfriend, then maybe he has started taking you for granted. Many men get so busy and comfortable in a relationship that they forget how special their significant other is. They won’t talk about the pretty dresses you’ve been buying, or even the beautiful glow the new skincare products are giving you. 

At this point, you shouldn’t feel bad it seems he’s giving more attention to work. It may even hurt his feelings if you bring it up. Just give him space and observe how long it takes for him to snap out of this phase. He can’t be busy forever, can he?

4. He thinks it will make you proud

Some guys can be pretty narcissistic. They think only of themselves and have these inflated egos that make them access people differently. The reason your boyfriend never compliments you may be because of this. So, how do you know if your partner is narcissistic? This and other signs should tell you if he has an inflated ego. 

The same things you see as pretty, smart, and generally praise-worthy, he sees as a threat. So he won’t give you any more compliments than he feels you deserve. Plus, he won’t want to hear compliments from others concerning you as well. 

5. He’s focusing on the negative

he's focusing on the negative

Is this the first time this is happening? Has your boyfriend declared a compliment strike before? Maybe you did something to upset him, and he’s focusing on the past. Don’t worry, your boyfriend loves you, he may just still be upset. Many people keep malice and drag unnecessary arguments simply because of one thing their partner did. 

If your boyfriend compliments you when things are rosy and switches things when the relationship gets rocky, it’s possible he’s keeping malice

6. He’s trying to withdraw

The only thing that would make a man stop complimenting you over time is when he’s rethinking the relationship. At this point, he doesn’t want to say anything that will make you feel comfortable or secure in the relationship. Maybe he feels that his lack of compliments will give you a hint on what’s going on. 

He either wants a break or he’s no longer interested in the relationship. So, if you have to ask why your boyfriend never compliments you, this and other warning signs may reveal the true reason. 

7. He is going through something

A guy won’t just stop complimenting his girlfriend without reason. It’s different if he never compliments you, and that’s just his behavior. But if he has been complimenting you before and then suddenly stops, maybe he’s going through something. It would be selfish to expect him to forget about the issues at work, or family problems and solely focus on you. 

So, if you notice he has a lot on his plate, kindly give him the benefit of doubt and the support he needs to get through the situation. 

8. He’s complimenting you in other ways

It’s easy to say that your boyfriend never compliments you when you haven’t discovered his other tactics. Some men don’t have to talk too much to give a compliment. A sexy, approving or even prolonged look is their own way of appreciating you

They may not be big on verbally complimenting you, but if they show support, look at you more often, and maybe even give you more attention, it’s basically the same thing. 

9. It makes him feel shy

In the same way, you feel reluctant to mention how a simple compliment will improve your relationship, your boyfriend’s reluctance may be a factor here. In every relationship, it’s crucial to understand the kind of partner you have. If your boyfriend never compliments you, maybe he doesn’t because it makes him feel uncomfortable or shy. 

In this case, give him some time to ease into it. You want him to feel safe and comfortable whenever he gives a compliment. 

10. He has high standards

he has high standards

Every relationship is different, just as people are different. Is your boyfriend the type that’s so hard to please? Then don’t feel insecure cause you’re bestie’s boyfriend is always complimenting her. No, she doesn’t have better hair, eyes, or a nicer attitude. You are enough! 

Let that sink in. it’s possible that this guy just feels that if he’s going to give a compliment, you have to be met gala-worthy. Of course, this can be remedied, but it will take some time for him to realize that even the little things like slaying in a new dress, hairdo, or pair of shoes are important. You don’t have to bag a degree or win a noble prize before he compliments you. 

11. His eyes are elsewhere

This is a really hard pill to swallow. But sometimes, your boyfriend doesn’t see all your efforts because his eyes are on somewhere else. No lady wants to imagine that a guy prefers someone else to her. Unfortunately, you can’t change anyone’s nature or thoughts. The good news is that people get distracted all the time. 

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Some guys wander off fantasizing about some other girl until that vague bubble pops. If you guys are really in love and dedicated to each other, he may realize soon enough that you’re the only one for him. Yet, sometimes, the fact that he’s even thinking of someone else is a bad sign. And he’s showing withdrawal signs by not complimenting you. 


Are compliments important in a relationship?

Compliments are important in any relationship. No matter how much people like to appear humble and non-artificial, we all love to hear nice things about ourselves. It’s even more special when in a relationship because it reminds both parties of how much they are treasured. 

The only difference would be how often different couples get compliments. Some partners will wait until you really look good or accomplish something exquisite before saying something nice. However, for another, you simply have to wake up in the morning to beautiful puns and cheesy lines. 

How can I get my boyfriend to compliment me more?

Many people go into relationships with a lot of expectations. What they don’t know is that most of what you desire should be mirrored. If you want compliments, give compliments. The same goes for love and respect. This should work if you’re dating someone who isn’t a narcissist. 

Another simple tip is to ask his opinion. Sit on his lap and ask if he likes your new hairdo. If he gives a vague answer, kiss him a little and tell him he can do better than that. Also, when he gives an honest response, control your reaction. He may get discouraged if you scowl at or criticize his opinions all the time. 

What do compliments do to a man?

Most men are very egotistic. This means that they love hearing good things about themselves, just like any normal human would. However, giving generic compliments may not get him to smile. You’ll have to be more specific. For example, rather than saying, “That’s a nice shirt”, say “Wow, blue really looks good on you, I love it” instead. They may not admit it, but compliments make them feel more appreciated, confident, and seen. 

How do you know if your boyfriend is not OK?

Any man who taps out emotionally may not be the right guy for you. However, it all depends on what you can deal with or even what you prefer. If you’re an emotional person, and the person you’re with is unsupportive, not jovial, and very detached emotionally, that will just drain you out. Plus, a man who only thinks of himself and doesn’t consider your feelings is also bad news as well. But don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater just yet. 

One way to really tell for sure that a guy isn’t worth your love is his change over time. Some men are really robotic and uncaring at first, but the more you talk, communicate and express your feelings/concerns, he starts to change. It may not take a month or a week, but you should see significant change over time. The same applies to both parties, there should be some kind of improvement on both sides to show that the couple love and respects one another. 

How can I praise my lover?

There are so many ways to make a lover feel special. You don’t have to stick to verbal words alone. Get creative, write sensual and romantic letters, maybe shorten them up and send him tidbits every day. You could equally choose to spell out compliments when buying gifts, or using petals and the like. Additionally, texting them encouraging words every now and then will lighten their mood tremendously. Stick to saying nice things about their character, positive traits, work ethic, looks, fashion sense, and maybe even their intimate sides as well. 

To Conclude

I hope you enjoyed reading through this list. It can be tough being in a relationship where your partner doesn’t feel the need to compliment you. Especially when you put so much effort into your looks, cooking, and attitude. However, I believe that these pointers should help you understand the root cause of the issue. But most importantly it will help you handle the situation with more knowledge, poise, and understanding. Have an opinion, question, or suggestion? Feel free to leave your comments in the section below and don’t forget to share this article. Good luck.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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