103 Things To Say To Your Boyfriend When He’s Being A Jerk 

Last updated on April 14, 2024 by Michelle Devani

A complete jerk is someone with bad qualities, who doesn’t care how their behavior affects others. If your boyfriend has such attributes, you might get hurt more often than none. We understand how you feel and that’s why we created this article for you. 

If there’s hope that your partner can change, here are some of the things to say to him when he’s being mean to you. On the contrary, some of these phrases will help you get closure in your relationships and know when it’s time to move on. 


103 Things To Say To Your Boyfriend When He’s Being A Jerk 

1. “I am hurt when you…” 

If you still have hope that your relationship can be fixed, you should describe the things that your partner does that affect you. This process will give him a vivid picture of what to avoid to make you happier next time.

2. “I don't appreciate this attitude of yours.

If you want your partner to understand you more, you can point out the specific things he does that you don’t fancy. This will put you one step ahead in fixing your problems as a couple. 

3. “I can’t deal with this behavior of yours.

Discussing how your partner’s behavior as a jerk affects you may help him stop doing it. It’s vital to express your pain and show your partner what it feels like to be in your shoes. This can sponsor unity in the relationship once again.

4. “I will be happier if you can…

Your happiness is crucial in your relationship. Therefore, if you fight with your partner because of his bad behavior and about him acting like a jerk, you can point out his faults. He should be interested in seeing you smile and not frown.

5. “I think you need to stop this behavior.

If your boyfriend is a nice guy, he might be willing to hear about the areas he has issues with and will not forget to change his behavior. Giving him vital reasons why he should desist from having a fight might persuade him to change for the better.

6. “I deserve someone better.

i deserve someone better

When your relationship is slowly becoming toxic due to his behavior, it usually means that you need someone better. If your partner is always mean to you, you can use the above sentence to let him know that you’re fed up.

7. “There's no way that you will change.

Sometimes, having hope in your boyfriend can be a bad move. It keeps you in a toxic situation, while your partner leads you on. Realizing that they won’t change their actions might be the key to moving on. 

8. “I don't want to handle this now.“ 

If you’re feeling down about what your partner said in your relationship, it’s okay if you don’t want to speak about it. You can choose to be quiet to avoid aggravating the matter. When you have a valid response, you can then call his attention to the situation.

9. “You always make everything a big deal.

If your partner tends to make an issue out of everything, you should speak to him about it. This could be the root cause of the problems in the relationship. If he can learn to calm down about everything, there’ll be tranquility. 

10. “I think it’s best if you just keep quiet.

If your partner is acting out of line, telling him to be quiet can be the best way to calm the situation. However, your tone determines whether he’ll listen to you or not. Try a calm approach if you want him to heed to your words.

11. “You really need to grow up.

Your partner might be a nice guy, but if he fails to respect you, then he truly needs to grow up. He shouldn’t be rude to you under any circumstance, especially when you haven't done anything bad to him in the past.

12. “Nothing you say makes sense.

If your partner talks out of line all the time or doesn’t make logical statements, mentioning it shouldn’t be a bad idea. It can give him clarity on why arguments always arise between the both of you. 

13. “It's always your fault.

If your partner always blames you for everything in the past without accepting his faults, you can use the above statement to set him straight. Let him know he’s being a jerk without sugarcoating it.

14. “Man up.

It’s possible to date a man-child, who wants you to cater to all his needs without him appreciating it. If you feel exploited, you should talk to your partner about manning up and taking responsibility. 

15. “Your words are so pointless.

You can handle a mean partner by telling him how pointless his statements are. This process will make his words lose effect, and he’ll subconsciously start watching what he says to you. More so, you’ll feel lighter after expressing yourself.

16. “You’re all bark and no bite.“ 

Your partner might be rude to you to get your attention or make you fear him. Realizing his tactics is key to your freedom as a girl. You can also tell him about your discovery to make him desist from it. 

17. “I’m starting to dislike you.

If you’re upset about something your partner did in the relationship, you can express your displeasure about it. Tell your partner that you’re starting to dislike his character. This might motivate him to change, 

18. “I can’t believe I’m with you.

It’s normal for a girl to question why she’s still with a guy that doesn’t treat her right. If this is you, you can express your dissatisfaction with the situation. Tell your significant other that you’re baffled you’re still seeing them.

19. “I’m sorry, but…

If your partner’s words have indeed affected you, and you’re looking for a way to express yourself, you can start with this statement. This is because saying you're sorry puts you on the same page with your partner.

20. “This conversation has no importance.“ 

A great way to deal with a mean partner is to invalidate his statements. He might be a great guy, but if he says negative things, you should put him in his place, especially if his words are affecting you.

21. “You look like a hippo.

You can resort to name-calling to make your partner understand how it feels when he’s mean to you. He might not forget or forgive your words for a while, but at least, he’ll realize the power of his statements to you.

22. “You can’t do without me.

Most times, the people being mean to you can’t do without you. They’re trying to get your attention and stay relevant. Mentioning the above statement can put them in their place, and make the relationship somewhat stable again.

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23. “You’re just crazy.

Using this statement depends on the intensity of words your partner might have used on you in your relationship. If you observe he’s going too far, you can tell him how absurd he is. It might indeed call him to his senses.

24. “You have a serious problem.“ 

No matter how much of a great guy your partner might be, if he’s a jerk to you most of the time it’s a sign that you might deserve someone better. It’ll help you realize how his mean attitude is a severe problem.

25. “You and your family drive me bonkers.

Relationships can be tedious, but when things are going overboard, it’s essential to express them. If your partner’s family is also being mean to you, you can tell your partner about it, especially when you’ve had enough of everything.

26. “You suck in bed.

If you choose to repay your partner’s attitude by being a jerk to him too, you can discredit his skills in bed. This will make him feel emasculated and possibly take him off his high horse. He’ll likely show you more respect.

27. “Is that all?

Your partner might expect you to say more, especially when his mean statements are intended to trigger a reaction from you. Saying the above statement quickly counters his expectations and calms the situation. 

28. “My ex was way better.

Comparing your partner with an ex will make him feel worse about himself. You shouldn’t resort to name-calling, but using this tactic can make the man consider how badly he’s been acting. He’ll realize that you still have other options.

29. “You clearly can't give a woman an orgasm.

A great way to make a man feel bad about the way he’s acting in a relationship is to hit him where it hurts the most. If you downplay his bedroom skills, he might see how painful it is to be mean to you.

30. “I’m so glad I came with my sex toy.

If your partner has been a jerk all day, referring to your sex toy can make him feel useless. He’ll understand that he can't be cruel to you all day and still expect to have access to your body. 

31. “Are you done?“ 

are you done

Sometimes, the major reason why a person is mean is to get your attention and remain relevant. Not giving them the reaction they’re expecting can make them desist from their actions. They’ll watch their words next time in the relationship.

32. “You make me miss my ex sometimes.

You can make our partner know that you deserve better by referring to your ex. Let him see how much of a jerk he is by telling him you miss your ex due to his attitude. He’ll want to behave better to avoid the comparison next time.

33. “You add no value to my life.

It’s normal to realize that your relationship might not be worthwhile, especially if your partner is being cruel to her. If things come to this stage, you can tell him he doesn’t add value to your life. This statement might make him want to change. 

34. “You never contribute.

If your partner's actions break more than they build, it might be a sign that he’s not contributing to the relationship but tearing it apart. You can express how you feel especially if you’ve had enough of his negative attitude. 

35. “You’re such a loser.

When a partner is being mean to the other, things might get toxic fast. You might even resort to name-calling to have the upper advantage in the relationship. Nevertheless, if your partner is behaving badly, you can call him out on that action. 

36. “That's not how you should talk to me.

It’s necessary to observe when things are going too far in your relationship. If your partner’s behavior is getting out of hand, you can decide to voice out your displeasure. Let him understand how you would rather be addressed.

37. “My ex would never do that.

You can let your partner know that you deserve better by bringing up your previous boyfriend. The comparison would make him feel insecure, and probably push him into acting better. On the contrary, know that it can also aggravate the situation.

38. “You are just like my ex.

Instead of comparing the two, you can associate your current boyfriend with your ex to make him understand how badly he’s behaving. Make him see that he’s making the same mistakes that led to your former breakup.

39. “At least my ex could tell how I felt.

If your partner is oblivious to how his actions affect you, you can make the above statement to allow him to realize his faults. This statement might make him decide to consider his actions next time to avoid offending you.

40. “I wish I never left my ex.

Statements like these can make your partner realize that he should talk or act out of line when he wants to. He’ll realize how badly you’re hurting and might even want to change. Being honest can make him see how horrible his actions are.

41. “You are so short.

You can decide to take a low approach by being mean to your partner when he’s doing the same. Although repaying his error this way isn’t prudent and might tamper with the respect in the relationship, it can cause him to be more cautious around you.

42. “You need a beard.

You can talk about your boyfriend’s insufficiencies to make him stop being mean to you. If he sees that you’re not afraid to say mean things too, he might desist from being cruel at all. Nevertheless, be aware that it might trigger an opposite reaction.

43. “You are getting bald. You should do something.

You can also decide to speak about your partner’s receding hairline to get him off your shoulders. Guys naturally don’t want to hear that their partners find them less attractive. Therefore, he might think about that instead of being mean to you. 

44. “I wish I was with someone richer.

Another thing your boyfriend might not want to hear is the fact that you think he’s not financially capable to satisfy you. These are things you should only say if you plan to cut ties with your man, and not beforehand. 

45. “How on earth did I allow you to touch me?

If your partner is mean to you all the time, you can express your perplexion about getting so close to him in the first place. This action would let your man know that you want something better and might make him behave better.

46. “You make me sick.

It’s possible to be in a relationship and be disgusted by your partner’s actions. Letting him know how you feel might bring clarity to the problems in the relationship. More so, he might strive to change the impression you have of him. 

47. “How can you be so dumb?

It’s never a good idea to speak about your partner’s intellectual prowess in a degrading way. Nevertheless, it can be a good way to stop his mean attacks. If he sees that you consider him inarticulate, he might decide to act better.

48. “I don't care what you say.

Sometimes, the more you pay attention to your partner’s statements, the more he gains control over you. If he’s being mean to you, you can take a break and stop caring about what he says. He’ll notice and most likely desist from his actions. 

49. “I just want to be alone, please.“ 

Your space is essential even while in a relationship. If your partner is getting on your nerves far too often, you can tell him you want to be alone. This process can help you clear your thoughts and think of a valid response. 

50. “I can’t believe you’d do this to me.“ 

i can't believe you'd do this to me

There's nothing more painful than being with someone who doesn’t care if they hurt you or not. If your partner behaves this way, you can let him know. Express your displeasure for his actions and see if he’s remorseful.

51. “I don't trust you anymore.

It’s easy for trust to break in a relationship when one partner keeps offending the other. If your partner is persistently being mean to you, you can let him know that your faith in him is broken. This might encourage him to do better. 

52. “I can never trust you again.

If you’ve always been the tolerant type, you can let your partner know that they’ve gone too far by making the above statement. It will make them see that you’re not going to forgive them like you always do. This realization might make them want to change 

53. “You’re not good enough for me.

If your boyfriend fails to accept his faults and doesn't want to make the necessary changes, then you can let him know that he’s not what you want. This statement will bring a severe realization to his mind, which is that you want someone better.

54. “I can't handle you anymore.

If your partner has been a jerk for far too long, it’s necessary to know when to call it quits. You can also make him see that you’re fed up by his actions. If he genuinely loves you, he’ll be willing to change to save the relationship.

55. “You are so mean.

Sometimes, the best way to let your boyfriend know that you’re hurt is to mention how cruel they are to you. It’s the simplest way to express your dissatisfaction about the situation, and possibly make them want to change. 

56. “You’re such a jerk.

Another way to make your partner know that you’re sick of his actions is to be plain and direct. Telling your man that he’s been a dork can make him envision how you see him. If it pricks his conscience, he might behave better. 

57. “They warned me about you.

If your suspicions in your relationship are becoming a reality, you can express it to your partner. Let him know that you envisioned he’ll behave that way. Your predictions might make him consider improving. 

58. “You have an ugly character.

Fights will inevitably occur in relationships, but when a partner persistently gets on the nerves of the other, it can lead to a toxic situation. Telling your partner about their bad attitudes might motivate them to improve. 

59. “You don't have what it takes to take care of me.

You can associate your statement with your emotional needs. If your partner isn’t catering to your emotional demands and is being mean to you, you can choose to call it quits. Remember that your peace of mind is a priority. 

60. “We’re too different to be together.“ 

If your partner struggles with being nice to you, it might hint that the both of you aren’t meant to be together. Talk to him about your differences, and don’t hesitate to cut ties with him if nothing is working.

61. “You make me laugh.

This statement can be used as a defense mechanism to dispel the hurt your partner is causing you. In reality, it could mean that it’s funny how he thinks you can’t do without him. If it comes down to leaving him for someone better, don't hesitate. 

62. “I don’t know why I’m dating someone like you.

It’s normal to question your decision to date someone, especially when they fall far below your expectations. If this occurs, you should admit your errors, even to your partner. 

63. “I never knew you were like this.“ 

i never knew you were like this

Relationships are often eye-openers where you get to see your partner's good and bad sides. Depending on the degree of your partner’s actions, you can choose to handle it or walk away. 

64. “You’ve failed this relationship.

When respect isn’t valued in a relationship, it can make things disastrous. If your partner doesn’t regard you and is always mean, you can mention this to him.

65. “You act like a child.“ 

If your partner’s behavior is demanding, you can mention this fact to him. Let him know that his actions are childish and that he should change. 

66. “I don’t want to marry someone like you.

Your boyfriend’s actions can make you realize that he’s the wrong person for you. Mentioning this to him can make him understand the severity of his deeds.

67. “I don’t want my kids to be like you.

It’s easy to forgive, but it’s another thing to raise your kids with a mean man. If you don’t want your kids to experience the same things as you, you should consider finding someone better.

68. “Don’t be surprised when I leave.

Guys are usually oblivious of how their actions are affecting their partners until it’s too late. Making the above statement can be a reality check for them.

69. “It’s better if you leave me alone.“ 

The best way to let your partner know that you’re mad at him is to request space. If you ask him to let you be, he’ll realize that he has crossed the line. 

70. “You’re wrong for reacting this way.

If you’re arguing with your spouse, it’s not bad to call them out on their actions. If they reacted badly, mentioning it can help them acknowledge their mistakes. 

71. “You are not my boss.

If you have a controlling partner that’s always mean to you, you can let them know that they don’t have the liberty to do so. Let them know how wrong their actions are so they can desist from them. 

72. “You are not someone I can count on.

If your partner is performing below your expectations, you can make them see how badly they’ve been behaving. If trust is broken, then there’s nothing to look forward to. 

73. “I’m glad you have hot friends.

If you’re looking for what to say to retaliate to your partner’s mean actions, you can threaten them with this statement. Nevertheless, you should be aware of the repercussions. 

74. “You’re not a real man.

If your partner’s behavior is far from manly, you should let him realize this. Since guys dislike feeling emasculated, this might make him improve. 

75. “I wish I never met you.

Having a fight with your partner can make you regret ever meeting them in the first place. However, if your partner is to blame, they might feel remorseful for their deeds.

76. “Sadly, you don’t have a lot of cash.

This statement can make a man realize that he should cherish you more. It’ll make him realize that you might only want to stay because of his cash. 

77. “I can finally see who you really are.

When your partner fails to desist from his mean acts, you can make the above statement. It’ll make him self-cautious and possibly determined to change your impression of him.

78. “You are not attractive to me anymore.

Most men fear their partner losing interest in them. If your partner cares about you, even to the barest minimum, he’ll work to capture your interest again.

79. “Says the guy with the bad taste in fashion.

You can choose to be mean to your partner in response to his bad behavior. If you’ve been quiet all along, this might make your partner realize he can’t mess with you again. 

80. “You irritate me.

Mentioning the above statement to your partner shows that attraction is dying in the relationship. They might want to change their wrong ways to revive the interest.

81. “I don't love you anymore.

When everything's falling apart in your relationship, it’s possible to fall out of love with your partner. Telling your significant other you don’t love them might make them want to put in more effort. 

82. “My ex would never do this.

Comparing your partner to your ex will undoubtedly cause him pain. Nevertheless, it can make him realize how badly he’s been behaving. 

83. “You’re like them.“ 

Dealing with a mean partner might involve pairing him with your previous partner if they also behaved badly, this realization might make him want to change. 

84. “Do you really think your money can make up for your bad attitude?

You can let your partner know that you value other things over his money. If he’s unwilling to change his behavior, you’ll have no other option than to walk away.

85. “Get over yourself.

get over yourself

It can be hard for others to accept they have unacceptable behavior. Telling them to come off their high horse can make them see how hurtful their actions are. 

86. “You need to deal with your problems.“

A direct and cold way to deal with a mean partner is to tell them to work on their problems without letting them affect you.

87. “I need space.

It’s essential to take time out to process the issues in your relationship. You don’t need to respond to your partner every time. Your space is quite important.

88. “You remind me of a painful past.

Telling your partner he reminds you of a painful experience can make him want to change. He’ll understand that you wouldn’t want to associate with anyone that hurts you. 

89. “I don't understand why you’re so mean.“ 

It can help to get to the bottom of things. This statement will help you understand the root cause of your partner's actions.

90. “You are impossible to live with.

Telling your partner how difficult he is would cause him to think deeply. If your words prick his conscience, he might want to change. 

91. “Being with you is so tough.

When your man is mean most of the time, staying with him will be tiring, you can let him know how you feel to convince him to change his actions.

92. “I don't have the strength for this.

If you man realizes that you can’t deal with his bad attitude again, he might be motivated to improve. He’ll understand that you’re slowly losing interest. 

93. “Just because you pay the bills doesn't mean you can talk to me like that.

This type of response shows that you don’t care about your partner’s money. It’s also a sign that you should work towards being financially independent. 

94. “You never understand me.

Talking to your partner can be tedious if they aren’t making things easy. If you’ve run out of things to say, you can express your hurt with the above statement. 

95. “You used to be so handsome before.

Kindness is an attractive quality, which means you might find your partner less handsome if he’s mean to you. You can let him know how you feel to provoke change. 

96. “I’m always frustrated with you.“ 

If your partner is infuriating, it will be harder every day to spend time with him. Telling him can help both of you get to the bottom of problems in the relationship.

97. “I dislike your friends.

If your partner's friends are also responsible for the mean words your partner uses on you, you can express your displeasure about the situation.

98. “There's no point talking about it with you.

Sometimes, you have to be aware when it’s pointless talking about a situation with your partner. If he refuses to change his wrong habits, you should consider moving on. 

99. “I can't live my life with you in it.“ 

The best way to deal with a cruel partner might be to live your life without them. Therefore, it’s quite essential to acknowledge when things are plainly not working. ,

100. “You're being mean and I don’t like it.

you're being mean and i don't like it

If your partner doesn’t act right, you should be straightforward about it. You don't have to wait to have a discussion later, you can express how you feel in the moment. 

101. “That was really rude and you need to stop doing that.“

If your partner disrespects you, you can put him in his place with this simple statement. You’re expressing yourself without necessarily being cruel. 

102. “You don't care about me, so why should I care?

If your partner sees things from your perspective, they might be willing to adjust their attitude. Therefore, you should consider expressing yourself genuinely. 

103. “I just want to break up with you.

Sometimes, the best way to handle a bad relationship is to call it quits. If things are getting out of hand, this should be your next option.


How do you react to a rude boyfriend?

If your boyfriend is being a jerk, you can ask him for space. If he doesn’t realize how his actions affect you, you might need to have a severe conversation with him about the relationship.

How do I get my boyfriend to stop being mean to me?

The best way to deal with a jerk in a relationship is to talk to your partner about it. If he can’t understand why he should be nicer to you, then you should consider calling it quits.

What do you say to a mean boyfriend?

Guys are often oblivious to the things they do. Therefore, being straightforward about what offends you in your relationship might be the first step to tackling the problem.

What should you not tell your boyfriend?

Your words can have a severe effect on your relationship. Therefore, you should avoid saying things like, “I hate you!” to your boyfriend or comparing him to your ex.

What is a disrespectful boyfriend?

Guys that are controlling and domineering in their relationships turn out to be disrespectful. They have no regard for their partners and will gladly behave like a jerk to get the upper advantage.

In Conclusion

Did you enjoy this article? If you’re in a relationship with a jerk, know that you don’t have to bear their bad attitude. You need to understand when enough is enough especially if his behavior affects you badly. Kindly leave a comment if you liked this article and share it with others.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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