This Is How to Deal with My Husband's Controlling Ex Wife

Last updated on June 5, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Every married couple has challenges that they have to face together. They could be related to financial or family matter. One of the most common ones is an ex. An ex husband or an ex wife may behave differently but they are still highly similar.

How to Deal with My Husband's Controlling Ex Wife

Are you currently dealing with an ex wife right now? If so, then you should check these tips on how to deal with your husband's controlling ex wife.

1. Don’t Let Yourself Feel Guilty

A controlling ex wife may not be afraid to say what she has on her mind. After all, she wants to control every aspect of her life which includes you and your entire family. She might try to play with your feelings so that she can have her way.

Her words may hurt you and even make you feel guilty. But don’t let yourself feel that way. Ignore that guilt because if you let yourself feel it then she will succeed in controlling you. Here's how to deal with my husband's manipulative ex wife which is similar.

2. Never Show Your Fear

Aside from the fact that you should never be guilt-tripped by your ex wife, you must also never show your fear. Somehow, controlling people have a good sense of someone who is scared. But you can fool them by hiding your fear. Never display how scared you actually are by her words or actions. It will only encourage her to do more damage to you.

3. Don’t Take Her Words Personally

On dealing with your husband’s controlling ex wife, you should never take her words personally. Yes, most of the things that she says to you are probably offensive and rude. Let that go and be the bigger person here. Nothing out of her mouth is ever genuine. This is just her way of manipulating you by making you feel bad about yourself.

4. Avoid Conflict with Her

It’s not rare for conflicts to arise when you’re dealing with your husband’s ex wife. Especially if she’s being very controlling. You may be tempted to jump into the fire but you shouldn’t. You don’t want to get yourself burned. Always avoid conflict with her because it’s just not worth your time. Spend your time and energy elsewhere. You should spend more of your hours knowing these sweet things to say to your husband.

5. Stand Your Ground

You must be strong enough to stand your ground, no matter what happens. According to psychology, a controlling ex's ambition is to win. Don’t let the ex wife walk all over you just so she can win her own game. You must be firm with everything you say so that she knows you’re not someone to mess around with.

6. Keep Yourself Busy

Like we said before, spend your time and energy on something else. Spending them on your husband’s ex wife will only drain you. Plan a vacation or a family trip which will be fun. Take your kids out to an amusement park or a movie. Keeping yourself busy will keep you happy despite the problem you are dealing with right now. 

7. Ignore Their Attempts to Contact You

Most of the time, ignoring is the best thing to do when you’re dealing with your husband’s ex wife. Is she calling you all the time? Is she sending you text messages every hour of the day? Don’t respond. Let her try her best attempts to contact you but don’t feed her. She will become tired and eventually stop on her own. It's also how to deal with my husband's narcissistic ex wife.

8. Try to Stay Civil in Public

How to deal with my husband's controlling ex wife? Trying to stay civil with the ex wife in public can be challenging. Here’s a tip: just nod and smile to whatever she says then excuse yourself. This is a great way to get away from her. In case she tries to make you angry, compose yourself and walk away.

Based on experts, a controlling person will try anything to get a rise out of you. You don’t want to give the ex wife a reason or a topic that can ruin your reputation.

9. Don’t Talk about Her Behind Her Back

For this particular one, you just have to keep all her dirty laundry to yourself. Talking behind her back will only cause more troubles in your life. You definitely don’t want that. Besides that, gossiping will only give the ex wife more reasons to hate and pester you. You also don’t need any of that in your life. 

10. Have an Open Communication with Your Husband

Always have an open communication with your husband. Since she’s his ex wife, he knows more about her personality. This is actually why there are important things to know about someone before you date them as it can determine how they will be in a marriage.

Wondering about your man? Let's find out who he really is.
From the newly dating to the happily married, trust issues can creep up on anyone. With cheating cases soaring over 40% in the last two decades, it's natural to have your doubts.

Could he be sending flirty texts to another woman? Or secretly swiping on Tinder? Or even have a hidden criminal past? Or, the worst fear - could he be cheating?

This useful tool can bring the truth to light. It'll dig out hidden social media accounts, dating profiles, photos, any legal run-ins, and more. Let us help clear your mind.

Talk and try to find a way to handle her together. There’s no need to fight with your husband over this unless he tries to defend his ex wife in any way.

11. Don’t Hide Anything from Your Husband

You should never hide anything from your husband either. Is his ex wife sending you threatening messages? Tell your husband about it. This is why it’s so crucial to have a good communication with your husband. In case anything bad happens that is caused by the ex wife, you can freely talk to him. Look out for the signs your husband has checked out of the marriage with you so that you can prevent it from happening.

12. Keep Your Children Away from Ex Wife

In case you have your own kids with your husband, keep them away from the ex wife. You don’t want to expose your kids to her toxic behaviors. Minimize any contact that she tries to have with your children. They may know her existence but they shouldn’t spend any time alone with her.

13. Get a Restraining Order

When things get tough and dangerous, it’s time to get a restraining order when you are dealing with your husband’s controlling ex wife. There’s no shame and guilt in it. You are doing it for the sake of your family. Safety should always come first. Your family deserves to lead a happy life without her in it.

Despite the whole situation with the ex wife, your family is still a priority. Focus on it while also keeping the ex wife away from causing more troubles. Be a strong team with your husband to make sure that his ex wife doesn't win.

Utilize this instrument for a comprehensive background check
Whether your relationship is in its budding phase or you're in the blissful realm of marriage, escalating infidelity rates (over 40% in the past two decades) warrant your caution.

You may want to ascertain whether he is engaging in secretive text conversations with other women, maintaining active profiles on dating platforms like Tinder, or concealing a criminal history. Or you might be fearing the worst - infidelity.

This robust tool is designed to uncover hidden social media and dating profiles, unseen photographs, undisclosed criminal records, and much more, providing you with the clarity you need.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
LoveDevani is an independent website. We provide resources that help you in your relationship, marriage, and dating life.
117 Westgate Dr
Lexington, KY 40504, USA
+1 (859) 901-8018

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Copyright © 2017 - 2022 by