Building a strong marriage is definitely not a simple thing. It’s not as simple as finding someone who you’re interested in and take them out of their home to build a home together. Well, that part might be necessary and it won’t actually be that hard. But, just like an iceberg, that’s just the tip of it. Deep within, there’s a bigger thing that you need to focus on more. Which is staying together in love to deepen your relationship time after time.
In comparison, you can say that building strong marriage is kinda like planting seeds. Just putting the seed in the soil might be an easy task, but taking a good care of it every single day is the real struggle. Especially in this case, if that husband of yours is an unbelieving husband. This is a case that’s sometimes unavoidable. So, what you have to do is to realize why should you love him and find ways to love an unbelieving husband. Then, try to find ways to be a good wife to your husband to have a happy and healthy marriage.
Here are the ways to love an unbelieving husband:
Well, I don’t know, whether you both married out of love or out of matchmaking. But once he’s yours, then he’s yours. Having an unbelieving husband might not be easy, but that doesn’t mean you don ‘t have to do something with it to make it better. He’s still your husband after all, so you have to do what you have to do as a good wife. One of it is, loving him.
It’s true that there’s no marriage that has no quarrels. When two people gather as one, they will still have different opinions and different ways of looking over something in life. But when there’s love that keeps growing stronger and bigger, it will heal every scar, every resentment in between.
Even woman seems more needy when it comes to love and affection, man are just as needy as that, even though it might not be obvious. He needs to be loved to love you back. When you can’t even love him, how would you expect him to love you? Once you stop loving him, that might also be when he will be showing signs your husband is unhappy in marriage.
Here are the ways to love an unbelieving husband:
If your husband is an unbelieving husband, then the things that you have to do is not like following him and become an unbelieving wife, of course. Instead, it’s the time for you to go deeper and strengthen your relationship with your God. You have to stay rooted as strong as you can to then strengthen your husband as well.
As a mom and wife to an unbelieving husband, what you have to do is not just be an example for your kids, but also for your husband. He’s the one who’s evaluating your attitude and character. If you yourself show him how bad is your character, then it’s not going to help him to regain his faith and belief. It will only make him looks down over religion and beliefs.
Although you might be hoping that he will soon gain his faith, but forcing will do nothing good. No one can change their beliefs sincerely by force. It has to come from their heart, their own will. Especially when it comes to religion, it’s a matter that every person have to deal with on their own, not even a partner or parents can meddle.
If your unbelieving husband started to gain his faith and trying to be rooted, then you should be there for him. It might be easy, it might be hard for him, so you should be the one who stick by his side and motivate him along the process. Even when he’s still that unbelieving husband, you should support him.
You never know what’s actually in their heart, being an unbelieving husband might be something they don’t really want deep inside. They might feel lonely inside, or at times they might be fine with it. IT differs from one to another, but no matter how it is, you shouldn’t judge your husband.
When you’re the one who has a religion and he’s an unbelieving husband, that doesn’t mean you’r ehigher than him, so that you can do anything you want and look down on him. As a wife, you still should respect him as your husband, you’re not under or above him, but equal to him. Don’t influence your children to lose respect to their father as well. You might not realize it, but actually it's one of the cruelest ways to break someone's heart gently.
Do you have a girl group as a mom? Or wife? Don’t just go around telling them howbad is your unbelieving husband. It will not be good to your husband's self-esteem. It’s not something to be bragged about anyway. But this doesn’t mean you have to hide him away from public either.
You should accept him just the way he is, he’s already your husband anyway. Both of you have promised to be there for one another, right? Be thankful first, for your husband no matter how annoying, how frustrating he is. Although there are reasons why you shouldn’t marry an unbeliever, but once you married him, there's no reason to not be thankful.
Actually, this point works for both unbelieving or believing husband. Comparing your lovers will not be a good thing in a marriage. Just put yourself in their shoes, would you be happy if they compare you to the other wives?
No matter what your religion is, prayer is not something you can underestimate. Keep praying for your husband, even when you’re tired of it and even if it never works for years.
In this case, you can’t just find help in any person in your life. Find someone who you can trust, who’s spiritually wiser and more mature than you. This way, you can get a different opinion from different point of view. They might also give you useful advice and motivate you to stay strong.
Although your husband’s faith is not your task, not your part, not even your job, there’s nothing wrong with hoping, right? Don’t lose your hope even when the situation seems impossible.
Read also : Signs of Good Husband Material to Marry
Everybody knows, loving someone is not as easy as liking them. Love requires effort, personal growth, adaptation, and sometimes even sacrifice. But that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to find a way to love your unbelieving husband. Have that marriage goals of yours, no matter what’s your marriage condition, there’s a way whenever there’s a will.
Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very gaurded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you. Many women make the mistake of pushing their man to say how they feel, but this is actually one of the worst things you can do as it can push him away further.
To get him to really show you how he feels and communicate how much he appreciates you, there's one simple thing, although often overlooked, thing you can say to him today that taps into how men are wired and can often lead to them suddenly pouring their heart out. My friend recorded a quick free video (click to watch) that shows exactly how to do that.