How To Deal With My Husband’s Manipulative Ex Wife

Last updated on June 4, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Dealing with a manipulative ex wife is no easy task. It’s a lot to handle for everyone involved. There is no one right way to handle it as every situation is different. In case you’re wondering how to deal with husband’s manipulative ex wife then you’ve come to the right place. Read on and find what works for you.


1. Don’t Take Anything Personally

It’s crucial that you don’t take anything that your husband’s ex wife is telling you personally. She’s the one with a problem, not you. Taking things to heart will only make the situation harder to get through. Choose to be the bigger person. This will give you a calmer mind and avoid unnecessary anger.

2. Fight For Your Relationship

Ensure that you and your husband are committed to one another. This means that the two of you will stand strong no matter how much his ex wife tries to tear you apart. Learn more about the different characteristic of a healthy and an unhealthy relationship. You must be willing to fight for your relationship. That’s why you should never let your husband’s ex wife tire you.

3. Be Supportive With Your Husband

be supportive with your husband

You shouldn’t avoid telling your husband how you feel, especially if it’s about his ex wife. Open up so you don’t get stressed out. Aside from that, being honest will help him to be more supportive. You must also encourage your husband to be open to you as well. Let him know that he is free to talk about any problems that he’s having with his ex wife. It's one of the best ways to be a good wife to your husband.

4. Show Her That She Can’t Boss You Around

When you have to deal with your husband’s manipulative ex wife, be firm. Stand your ground and show her that she can’t boss you around.

According to psychology, a manipulative personality will do anything to gain control. Make sure that she doesn’t do that to you. Be straightforward and blunt with anything you say if you must. It shows power which makes you look confident. Make it a challenge to control you.

5. Don’t Fall For Her Tricks

Besides wanting to gain control, your husband’s manipulative ex wife might play tricks on you. It’s just so that she can have her way with you. Remember not to fall for it. Only engage with her when it’s necessary. If she asks for a favour or help, think through it. Is it something that’s genuine? What is your gut telling you?

Also, try these ways to flirt to your husband through text to ignite that spark with your husband. This will make your husband take his mind off her and more on your family. 

6. Ignore Her

Another fact about a manipulative personality is that they tend to cross boundaries. They lack the sense of personal space. You may happen to notice this behaviour with your husband’s ex wife. If you do, try to ignore her. Make yourself become distant if you can. Like a parasite, your husband’s ex wife will love it when she gets a reaction from you. Ignoring her will discourage her.

7. Avoid Arguments

Things can get emotional when you have to deal with your husband’s manipulative ex wife. But don’t get carried away. Avoid arguments at all cost. It will only make her happy. The emotional toll on you would be huge. Even if an argument ensued, end it quickly. She will try to drag it on and on but don’t fall for it.

8. Keep The Children Safe

In case children are involved, keep them out of this problem. It’s always important to keep the children safe. They come first. Never talk badly about your husband’s ex wife in front of them. You should also try not to show your stress about the situation in front of them.

9. Don’t Give Out Your Phone Number

If possible, don’t let your husband’s manipulative ex wife know your phone number. This will only give her an ammunition to pester you. You don’t want that. Keep your number private. If she insists, tell her that she can just contact you through your husband. 

10. Ask For Advice

ask for advice

You don’t have to deal with your husband’s manipulative ex wife all by yourself. Ask for advice to your closest friends. It’s also not just about wanting an advice. This could be a good emotional release for you. Talking to your friends will lift off some of the burden you’re carrying.

Have a good laugh or cry about it with them. Try out these funny ways to tell your friends you love them for helping you get through a difficult time.

Another good idea is to find someone who has gone through this before. Learn something from their experience. Join a support group if you have to. No need to be ashamed for it, it could be the solution that you need.

11. Learn How To Deal With An Ex Wife

To help you cope with your husband’s manipulative ex wife, learn as much as you can on how to deal with it. Reading this article is already a great step. You can also check out how to deal with my husband's narcissistic ex wife for other tips. The more you gain knowledge about dealing with an ex wife, the better. You can apply most of the things that you learn in your life.

12. Forgive Her

Your husband’s ex wife may caused you a lot of heartache. However, holding grudges won’t make you feel better. The resentment might backfire and you will be the one who suffers from it. Learn to forgive her for all her mistakes. Let go of all that pain and hurt. Believe that you are going to get through this with the help and the love of all the people around you.

Finding the right way to deal with your husband’s manipulative ex wife may take some time. The key here is patience. Don’t be too hard on yourself so always have people that you can rely on to make things easier.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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