List of Things to Consider Before Marrying Much Older Man

by Michelle Devani

Love knows now boundaries. Name it sex, culture, or even age. It is not uncommon for a young woman to fall in love with a much older man of the same age with her father. "Much older" in here means an extreme age gap of twenty years or more.

When women are suggested to marry an older man, it means that he is older only by a few years. Having a relationship with older man is indeed different with dating with a man within her age range. In physical and psychological context, there are certain reasons why a relationship between a young woman and an old man is not an easy one.

Why Young Woman Likes Older Man?

Before love, financial aspects is the biggest reason why a young woman is in a relationship with an old man. No offense but everyone is looking for a financial settlement and an old man usually has a stable finance. He might have established his own business! Nothing wrong with that.

But the real challenge begins when they are married. There are so many things to consider before marrying much older man. Those things will not come into light before the marriage.

So here are the list of things to consider before marrying much older man:

1. Children's Reaction

Yes, he surely has some children with him, even grandchildren! Okay, love is about both of you but you can't just ignore them. See also Things to Know Before Marrying a Military Man

They should be first of your concern since they are the most important thing in his life. So that their reaction matters. They might even convince their father not to get remarried! There will be various opinion toward the married, moreover when he has quite many children.

2. Cultural Difference

Cultural difference is not the one about where you grow up and where he grew up. It's about when you both grew up. You live in the different era so there must be a huge gap between. You have a difference preference in music, movies, and many more. So there will be many times when he doesn't get what you say and vice versa. It may seems interesting at first but when it happens everyday it can be quite stressful.

3. Difference in Mindset

Another difference to consider before you get married to an older man is how his mind going. As he is already old, he is careful in everything. Problems arise when your young blood is boiling and and always curious to try new things. It's not that they are old fashioned or inflexible, but an old man already set his mind on things. It's almost impossible for you to change his mind. See also Reasons Why Dating an Older Woman Is Better

4. His Health Concern

As someone get older, many health problems come along. There are certain health issues that won't appear on the surface unless a man has reach certain age. This should come into your consideration because if you are still pretty young, you might won't spend you days nursing him.

5. Sexual Desire

Sexual needs is important in marriage life. People said that men hit their second puberty in his 40s, but everyone is different. He may have lack of sex drive and it may frustrating you later. But things might be different if still keep his body in shape and workout a lot. He could be hotter than men in their 20s! See also Reasons to Marry a Welsh Person

6. Retirement Funds

Financial settlement becomes the main reason why younger woman tend to date an old man. So you have to find out whether he has secured his retirement funds or not. If he is in his 50s or 60s, he will be retiring soon and you have to make sure that your life is still comfortable after that.

Another thing to make sure is that he is committed to spend his retirement fund for his old days with you. Because he could've saved it for the sake of his children and grandchildren. Uh oh, bad news for you then. See also How to Let Your Boyfriend Know You Are Ready for Marriage

7. Energy Levels

Not only health concern, energy levels also dropped as someone gets older. It's not that they are lazy, but older people needs more rest than we do. He might go to bed early, refusing to go on a late night party, and other events that is so young-related. He is no match for a sociable person who lives from party to party. But if you are a homebody that loves to spend most of your time at home, you are perfect for each other. See also Reasons Why Dating an Older Man Is Awesome

8. Reaction from Your Family and Friends

Let's say that you have overcome the obstacle between both of you. But something not less important to consider is the reaction from your family and friends. If you truly loves him, what others say doesn't matter. But are you ready with anything others might say about you? The social reaction can be harder than you ever thought.

How to Make It Work

Despite many things to consider before marrying much older man, it is also possible to make it work.

  • Communication. Every relationship requires a god communication. Be open to each other and talk about your concern before getting married.
  • Common Interest. It's hard but not impossible to find common interest. It's how you find connection and make the different less felt.
  • Giving Space for Each Other. People at all age range need space for their own. Make sure it is written down on your list.

Seeing that there are many things to consider before marrying much older man, you shouldn't make rush decision. Marriage is one of the biggest events in your life and taking the wrong direction is the last thing you want to do.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.