All the Things to Know Before Marrying a Military Man

Last updated on May 5, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Marriage brings changes to both person involved. Both must adapt to each others' life, job, and habit. It's always exciting at first, as if you enter a whole new world. As you gearing up for the adventure, many unknown things await. Some of them will literally surprised you and you might find it hard to fit in. It could happen when you are going to marry a military man.

As you love him for who he is, you can't deny that his job makes him different than any other man. There are many things to know before marrying a military man, so you can get a picture of what you may face in the future.

You will be getting through a marriage that unlike others. Here are what you may encounter during your journey.

1. Duty First, Not Family

If you wish to have a family man as a husband, than he is not the answer. Not that a soldier doesn't love his family, but he has sworn to put his duty above everything, including his family. It will takes you a lot of patient when he is being sent off somewhere far away for a while. And your kids might as well growing up without their father most of the time.

2. A Big Chance of Infidelity

This is the biggest disadvantage of marrying a military man. There are a big chance of infidelity, especially when he is sent away for a duty. A military man would likely have affair with fellow female soldier or with a local woman. Although it usually doesn't last long, it's still dangerous for the marriage. See also Signs of a Cheating Partner in a Relationship

Moreover, he is not the only one who'd likely cheat. You might cheat as well when your husband is away.

3. Be Prepared to Move A Lot

When he is just starting his military career, he will be moved a lot. And you have to follow suit since being having a separated marriage life is not good for your relationship. You will find yourself hard to settled somewhere for a long time. Maybe you have to move from one city to in a couple of months. While it can be an adventurous life, others are having a hard time to adapt.

4. It's Hard for You to Have a Fixed Job

If you have a good education background, you wouldn't want to sit around while your husband is busy making money. But finding a fixed job will be hard for you when your husband is moved around the whole time. The situation can be stressful when you haven't have a child yet and literally have nothing to do at home. See also How to Make A Relationship in The Military Work

5. He Would Miss Many Important Events

Another things to know before marrying a military man is that he is highly flexible. For his job. You couldn't plan anything in advance such as planning a family holiday or celebrating you kids birthday with him in attendance. You never know when his duty call comes, and he would miss many of those events. He can't attend your kids' birthday, going to our sister's wedding, or spending the summer overseas for duty.

6. Uncertainties All the Time

As much as you love him, you become concerned of him all the time. When he is sent away, you always worry if he get hurt, or for worst he might be die any time. It makes sense when he is sent to a war countries. The worry is enough to distract you from your everyday life and often makes you lose focus on what you do. See also Signs of Cheating Husband in A Long Distance Relationship

7. Homecomings is Never Easy

The time when your husband is coming home probably the best time for your family. In fact, it's not easy for him to reintegrate with the family, especially when he had been away for years. There must be some changes and he must adapt to the whole situation. You will get used in doing everything on your own so that he might find it awkward to offer you some help, foe example, to change the lightbulb or fixing the broken faucet.

8. He Keeps a Lot of Secrets from You

Trust is the most important foundation in a marriage. But you might not have it if you get married to a military man. His job requires him to keep everything in secret, which means from you too. You wouldn't know what he's up to, what's going on with his work, and what mission he's assigned to. Everything should remain a top secret that he can't share it with you. See also How to Let Your Boyfriend Know You Are Ready for Marriage

9. Get Ready for a Long Distanced Marriage

Having a separated marriage life is common for a woman who married a soldier. Moving around will be hard when you are having a baby or when you have a settled job, from which you can't retire. He can't go home that often so there's possibility you only see your husband a few times in a year.

10. You Will Find It Hard to Fit In

A military community is not like another community. It has its own custom, different inside jokes, and different things to talk. You will be surprised once you get into it, and it will takes time for you to fit in. You will feel out of the world when they start talk using acronyms, military phrases, and other things that sound like alien language to you. See also Signs that Your Boyfriend is Going to Propose Soon

11. There are Many Rules to Follow

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Hierarchy is undeniable in military. Not only applied to him but for you too. Your husband's rank define your rank, so you may find younger woman who act up all bossy because her husband is of higher rank than yours.

Despite there are many surprising things to know before marrying a military man, having them in life gives you certain assurance. You know that you can always count on him and he literally capable in protecting you and your future family. Isn't it cool to get married to a soldier?

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Whether your relationship is in its budding phase or you're in the blissful realm of marriage, escalating infidelity rates (over 40% in the past two decades) warrant your caution.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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