How Do I Handle Sadness When My Boyfriend Pushes Me Away and Makes Me Feel I am Unwanted by Him?

Last updated on April 9, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Almost every woman has gone through a lot of obstacles in her present or past relationships that the boyfriend suddenly acts distantly and indifferently. You would start to question, “Is he really that busy or is he just trying to pull away from the relationship?”

There are many reasons why your boyfriend acts like this. When he comes on strong and then pushes you away all of a sudden, sometimes it can even feel as if he is trying to test you in some sick sort of way.

It is normal for some women to freak out when this happens to their relationships but this will only drag down the relationship even more. The best thing to do is learn with ease what is really happening with him.

For most women, the very first instinct-based move is to try to fix the whole situation by getting closer to their distant boyfriends and more involved in his life. You may want to dig deeper and find out the root of the problem by asking some queries and even monitoring his every move.

But, the problem is, such act almost always causes the polar of the desired effect and therefore, makes you even more devastated. So, you may wonder, “How do I handle sadness when my boyfriend pushes me away and makes me feel I am unwanted by him?” Here are easy ways to handle your sadness.

Be More Aware With Your Emotion

Your first instinct, when faced with the issue where your boyfriend is pushing you away, is to get sad and even mad. You are baffled and you are really frustrated because just when you thought everything was fine, suddenly your boyfriend is behaving indifferently. However, you will not find out if you call him out uninterruptedly.

It is totally normal to feel hurt at this point but you cannot just go over-the-top, and especially not to him. Strong negative reactions will bite you in a very negative way. It will not make him want to come back to you. Instead, it will only put more distance between you two.

So, instead of jumping down his throat, offer him support. Be kind, understanding, and calm. You may also read What to Do When My Boyfriend is Depressed and Pushes You Away?

Give Him Space

This is actually the most crucial step. The more you force your way on your boyfriend, the more he is going to push yourself away, and clearly, that is not what you want and will make you even sadder.

When he pushes you away, it might mean that he wants to be independent. Maybe he is trying to find himself again and learn more about himself. Or else, he is pushing you away because he just wants to have some solitude, and in chasing after him as soon as he was gone is not a good idea.

It means you are not granting him the distance he craves. As a result, he is only going to run even farther from you. You may also read What to Do When My Boyfriend Says He Needs Space? Does He Want to Break Up?

Practice Self-Care

Take time off for yourself to rest and recover from the sadness, dealing with your distant boyfriend can be draining emotionally and physically, and you deserve a break. Remember that you, too, are human after all. You need physical and emotional needs to fulfill.

And if at some point you feel the relationship is not working out despite best efforts from you, maybe you should consider walking out of the relationship. However, this should be the last option, and if possible, do try to resolve this issue together with your boyfriend.

Pause, Breathe, and Reflect

Pause because you actually do not need a full therapy session to deal with your feelings. When uneasy emotions arise, get in the habit of stopping whatever you are doing and taking a moment to pause, and then, consider how you are feeling at the moment.

After that, try to breathe steadily and concentrate on the natural ebb and flow of your breath. It can help you feel calmer and keep you from getting caught up in your feelings. The last step is to reflect.

Never ever resist the way you are feeling. In fact, you have to think about why you might be sad, anxious, or frustrated. Know that negative emotions are part of the human experience and make sure you try to be secure in your vulnerability because real strength is not pretending that you are numb; it is the courage to understand that your feelings are normal.

So, those are a few steps on how to handle sadness when your boyfriend pushes you away and makes you feel you are unwanted by him. Hopefully, this article could offer you some insight.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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