What To Do When My Boyfriend Says He Needs Space? Does He Want To Break Up?

Last updated on June 5, 2022 by Michelle Devani

Things are looking pretty good with your boyfriend. Suddenly, he tells you that he needs space. Taken aback, you start to wonder what to do next. Make the right move by doing these things:


1. Control Your Emotions

You don’t know what to do when my boyfriend says he needs space so you start to panic. This will not do any good. You have to control your emotions. Think with a cool head. Handle your emotions so you don’t make things worse.

If your boyfriend asks you for space, maybe he really needs it. Begging him to rethink it won’t work. You might as well just let him.

2. Respect What He Wants

respect what he wants

Guys are humans too. In a relationship, your boyfriend might be dealing with internal or external issues that he can’t talk with you yet. This pushes him to ask for some space.

Maybe you notice the Signs Your Boyfriend is Jealous of You But Hiding It. That's why he wants space.

Instead of taking it as a request to get away from you, think of it as a time to sort out things by himself. The best thing you can do is to respect what he wants. Perhaps it’s what’s best for the relationship.

3. Ask How Long You Should Wait

Remember, this is what you really should do. Ask your boyfriend how long you should wait. He needs to be clear, how long he wants to be away from you. If he can’t come up with a definite answer, an estimation would also work.

This is fair because your boyfriend shouldn’t leave you hanging. You also deserve to know how much time he needs because this will have an impact on your relationship.

4. Limit Contact

Here’s where it gets a bit tricky on what to do when my boyfriend says he needs space. Sure you can give him your attention but you still need to limit contact. Why? He did ask for space from you.

If you constantly send him texts or make calls, that means you’re not respecting his wish. According to a dating coach, a guy’s request for space is because he feels that the relationship is a bit draining. Don’t suffocate your boyfriend with too much contact. Be delicate and contact him as necessary.

5. Still Give Him Attention

still give him attention

Just because your boyfriend says he needs space, it doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to reach out to him. You can still give him attention. Order him some food, deliver him a nice package of something that he likes or send him an email.

For the email, you can just pour your heart out and show how much you still love him. With emails, there’s no pressure to get back to you instantly. Your boyfriend can still all the space that he needs.

He can read the email anytime he wants but he will receive the message that you love him still. But here's How to Tell When Your Man isn't Interested Anymore.

6. Assure Him That You’re Always There For Him

You still have to do this with limited contact. But how? My boyfriend says he needs space so how do I let him know that I’m always available for him?

What you can do is reply to any message he sends you instantly. Don’t wait too long. This shows that you’re really here to help him out. He’s not alone and you will always be ready when he needs to make a call.

Try to be as responsive as you can when he reaches out to you. Pay attention as being cold could be one of the Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Pushes You Away.

7. Keep Yourself Busy

Let’s not forget about your wellbeing. You should keep yourself busy when your boyfriend wants space in the relationship. Even if you think that you can’t do it, fake it. Be unbothered.

Carry on with your day as always. Find things that entertain you, that make you happy despite your troubled relationship. Hang out with friends and catch up with your family. When you keep yourself busy, time really flies!

8. Stay Confident

It’s okay to feel sad, uncertain and really upset when you’re not entirely sure on what to do when my boyfriend says he needs space. It’s tough. But based on a relationship expert, you should let your boyfriend get a taste of life without you in it. Let him feel how much he’s missing out.

So stay confident. Believe in yourself that you’re enough for anybody as you are. Staying confident will stop your boyfriend from mistreating during the time he’s away from you and when he gets back to you. You cannot let him walk all over you later on. Prepare yourself by knowing How to Deal with a Douchebag Boyfriend.

9. Let Your Boyfriend Approach You First

let your boyfriend approach you first

We mentioned before that begging is not a good look. Let your boyfriend approach you first when he’s done with his time alone. He will come back to you as promised or when he’s ready. Asking him to come back when he still needs space will backfire on you. He could get angry or see you as annoying.

10. Have An Honest Discussion

The last thing on what to do when my boyfriend says he needs space is an honest discussion. Obviously, this is done when he has reached out to you again. It's also something for What to Do When You Feel Like Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Care Anymore.

You might be happy that he’s back. But make everything clear with a serious discussion. Be open with how you feel when he was away. Talk about what the two of you need to work on to make the relationship better than before. Get really deep into the relationship during the discussion.

What You Shouldn’t Do When Your Boyfriend Needs Space

Here’s a list of things you really shouldn’t do when your boyfriend says he needs space because they will only drive him further away from you:

  1. Think of the worst. It will only stress you out.
  2. Badger him to start talking to you.
  3. Blame yourself as it might not be your fault.
  4. Get angry at him since it will only drain your energy.
  5. Find his reasons to the point where it drives you crazy.
  6. Overthink the situation. Let things flow the way it has to be.
  7. Let him play around with your emotions.

Your boyfriend is not your property. Always respects what he needs, especially space, and see how things will go from there.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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