Reasons Why A Cancer Man Pulls Away When You Let Him In (19 Major Reasons Why)

Last updated on July 12, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Is your Cancerian crush growing cold on you?

Are you wondering what you did to turn him off? 

More importantly, do you want to know how to win him back?

If so, you’re in the right place. This guide lists the 19 most common reasons why Cancer men pull away from women they were once attracted to. 

In this situation, the first thing I’d advise you to do is download is to this online communications tracker tool.

This tool can discreetly connect with your crush’s personal devices and deliver a wealth of information about his most recent communications. 

To get started, you just need to enter a few of his most details.

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This information should quickly make it clear if there’s an external reason why he’s pulling away from you. Is there another woman on the scene? Is he still on the dating apps? Is a huge work project talking up his time? This tool should answer all these questions and more. 

With the data gathered by this tool to hand, you’ll be in a much better position to handle this situation effectively.

With that said, let’s take a closer look at the most common reasons why a Cancer man might pull away from you.


What To Know About Cancer Men

Are you in love with a Cancer man, but he has been acting distant and weird? Is your relationship with your Cancer man still new that his pulling away attitude disturbs you? Do you think he is exhibiting the silent treatment as a way to get your attention or his actions are a result of a problem you triggered? 

Regardless of the traits that make your man different from you, both of you are humans. As such, you should deal with your relationship in ways that will promote the general well-being of both of you. 

Every relationship is susceptible to misunderstanding, whether the Cancerian attributes flow through your man or not. Therefore, both of you should be able to handle whatever challenge your relationship might face. 

That said, you should understand the peculiarities that drive your Cancer man, and relate with him from his perspective. Cancer men are usually quiet and keep to themselves more than they relate with people not important to their lives.

However, he has other traits, and you should be able to know which ones are dominant. Is he normally completely reserved, or he doesn’t mind hanging out often with the guys?

What words have you noticed make him happy, irritated, mad, or laugh? The last time he created distance between both of you, what did you say, do, or didn’t do? 

Even with basic knowledge of Cancerian traits, you might still get confused when your Cancer man resorts to pulling away from you. This article will clear your doubts as to why your Cancer man pulls away from you, so read to the end. 

19 Major Reasons Why Cancer Man Pulls Away

1. He just needs to be alone for a while

As a reserved person, a Cancer man can easily get bored by the company of others. If your relationship with the cancer man hasn’t gotten to the kind of level that makes him crave your presence for most of the day, you might find him pulling away often.

At the same time, even if he is already crazily in love with you, a Cancer man still loves seclusion and would pull away once in a while for his sanity. In that instance, you haven’t done anything wrong, and your relationship is intact. Your man just needs some time to himself, and if you deny him of that need, he will pull away even more from you.

This is the kind of situation whereby the saying, ‘it’s me, not you’, is acceptable because it’s not your fault your Cancer man is built that way.

2. You’ve hurt him

People exhibit different traits when they are hurt or angry. Some throw things, some say hurtful words, while some start pulling away from the person who hurt or annoyed them. A Cancer man would most likely do the latter, which is pulling away because he hates violence. 

Your Cancer man pulls away from you sometimes because you said something that rubbed him the wrong way. 

However, instead of confronting you, he pulls away because he doesn’t want anything else to upset him. As such, rather than hold a conversation to confront you about what you did, he'd rather stay away. 

While many people might think it is a childish thing to pull away instead of addressing the matter, it’s the way a Cancer man knows how to deal with his feelings.

3. You are holding yourself back from him

When a Cancer man falls in love with you, he does so with everything in him, and he expects his woman to do the same. If a Cancer man cares for you, he will express it in the ways he can. Even if his acts of love appear weird to you, he will still do all he can to ensure you feel his love. 

For instance, a Cancer man can decide to run an errand for your mum just so you can attend to something else that’s urgent. While this action is neither romantic nor done directly to you, he expects that you’ll appreciate it, and return the gesture in another way. 

If you hold yourself back from doing sweet things for him as he does for you, he will create a distance because he’ll feel he’s the only one putting in the effort.

4. He feels you’re depriving him of quality attention

Apart from quality acts of service, a Cancer man loves to spend quality time with his woman, especially if he has formed an emotional attachment with her. The irony of this reason is that a Cancer man loves his alone time just as much as he wants to be with his woman. 

Without the right balance for these two different things he loves doing, your Cancer man will start acting distant. As such, he pulls away from you when you focus on him too much, and when your focus on him is limited. 

The solution to this particular issue is to have a good communication system within the relationship so both of you can know what the other person needs per time.

5. He thinks you’re not ready for commitment

One of the reasons why a Cancer man can distance himself from the woman he likes is if she isn’t showing him any sign of commitment. If your Cancer man is acting distant you might want to ask yourself why. Have you been acting like you want to be with him for a long time? Or like you’re in the relationship for the fun of it?

Cancer men in relationships are usually family-oriented, especially if they are serious about the lady they are dating. If the Cancer man is ready for a commitment-based relationship, but you aren’t, he will withdraw from you so fast you’d think you had a whiplash. 

6. You’ve been giving him excuses about meeting his folks

youve been giving him excuses about meeting his folks

A Cancer man doesn’t joke with his family because he wants to raise a close-knitted one too. As such, you should understand that family is everything to him. Even if a Cancer man stays away from other gatherings, he will make time for his family.

Being the woman he is serious about, he will want to introduce you to his family. If you appear reluctant to meet his family or friends, he will distance himself from you. He will conclude that you don’t want to have a traditional family even though nervousness is your reason for not meeting his family yet.

7. You are blocking his hero instincts from surfacing

Most men, including Cancer men, have hero instincts that urge them to be both lord and protector over the woman they love. Even though your Cancer man has sensitivity as one of his major traits, his sensitivity is geared towards being attuned to your needs. This sensitivity is responsible for his need to protect and provide for you, 

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It is why he wants to fix things for you even when you don’t need the help. If you don’t fancy the occasional need for possessive control, he would in turn balk at the fact that you don’t let him fix things for you.

9. You are not family-inclined

Apart from expecting you to attend family functions (of both of your families), a Cancer man wants to see in you the attributes of a potential homemaker and nurturer. He wants to know if you will be a good mother, friend, and wife because his actions will show he wants to be a good partner to you too.

If he doesn’t see any hint of family consciousness in you, he will begin to have doubts and pull away from the relationship. One of the reasons a Cancer man will find it easy to withdraw from you, in this case, is because both of you haven’t had sufficient discussions on the matter.

10. He isn’t all that into you

Sometimes, a zodiac sign and its compatibility are irrelevant to knowing why someone lost interest in you. The simple answer to any disconnection between you and that Cancer man could be disinterest. He doesn’t like you as much as either of you thought he did.

The sensitive side of a Cancer guy won’t allow him to drop the bomb on you, which is why he will try to break the relationship by distancing himself. This reaction is selfish of him and hurtful to you, but creating a distance is an instinctual response for a Cancer man. He might say the words later, but he will pull away first. 

11. He isn’t sure he is ready for a serious relationship

Another reason why a Cancer man will withdraw from you is if he isn’t ready for a commitment-based relationship. In a normal situation, a Cancer man won’t waste your time if he isn’t interested in you, but no man is above selfishness. As such, he might use the relationship to fill a void in him or to pass time till he is ready for a serious relationship.

Meaning, your relationship with him could be temporary or you’re the rebounding partner he is using to get over his ex. Regardless of how sweet he might be, you don’t deserve to be treated like a seat filler. Breaking up the relationship might be the best thing for you.

12. You’re not displaying enough physical affection

youre not displaying enough physical affection

Your Cancer guy is an affectionate being who tends to look forward to touching and being touched as much as possible. He loves public displays of affection and wants to maintain physical contact with you even while doing the most mundane things.

If he senses any form of hesitancy in your desire to touch him affectionately, he will feel you aren’t as attracted to him as you want him to believe. If you aren’t too comfortable with constant touching, especially in public, talk to him about it. 

Also, find a middle ground that works for both of you.

13. He has secrets he doesn’t want you to discover

This is another reason why any guy, including a Cancer guy, will withdraw from you. If he has some secrets he doesn’t want or isn’t ready to let you know, he will stay away from you for a while. If his poker face game is bad and he isn’t built to play mind games, distancing himself from you will seem like the best option.

The secrets and distance will cause trust issues between both of you, but there’s nothing you can do until he’s willing to let you back in. Let him know you know he is keeping secrets from you, then give him time. After the time expires, decide if you can remain patient with him or not.

14. You’re too busy

A Cancer man in love will do his best to be available to you as much as possible, and he would expect the same of you. If you cling to busyness as an excuse not to spend quality time with him, you’d lose him faster than if you cheat on him. 

Well, he might even assume you are cheating on him with another man, and that’s why you are never available to him.

With his fertile mind, your man can conjure all sorts of scenarios, and you won’t be able to convince him otherwise unless you begin spending more time with him. You’re both probably busy people, and so your excuse will never be good enough to justify your absence.

15. You aren’t open to trying new things

Even though Cancer is one of the tamest zodiac signs, it doesn’t mean a Cancer man is boring. He loves engaging in stimulating activities, and ‘he gets bored’ when nothing is stimulating him. Therefore, if there are activities he likes doing, but you never want to try with him, there will be problems and he will pull back from you.

You need to be open to trying new things if your relationship with a Cancer man will work. The reason most relationships fail is that couples are unwilling to reach a compromise on certain desires. The same is true if you’re in a relationship with a Cancer guy. To get back his attention, suggest something new and interesting in the relationship, and the spark will return.

16. He is confused about his feelings for you

Did your Cancer guy used to act so caring and interested in you before, but now seems to have changed? Has his focus on you shifted elsewhere and his physical presence is not different from his absence? It is possible he is no longer interested in you.

If a man’s focus turns away from you to something or someone else, it is only his desire to return to you that can bring back his focus. Meaning, he might be confused about his feelings. He isn’t sure if he is still in love with you, and so his loyalty will be divided. 

He is like any other man, and you might need to step back too until he is sure of what he wants. 

17. The communication line is shaky

If the communication between both of you is unclear or broken, there will be serious issues. Sometimes, your Cancer partner will find it hard to communicate his feelings precisely. You might have to step in as the bigger person and clear the air of misunderstanding so he doesn’t withdraw into his shell.

If he already entered his shell, you can still draw him out with the right communication skills and by being open with him. Let him know you don’t like the fact that he withdraws from you at the slightest hint of disagreement, and you want words instead of silence. If he cares about you he will listen and agree with you.

18. He feels you’re putting him on the defensive

he feels youre putting him on the defensive

A Cancer guy doesn’t like confrontation and he will stay away from you if he feels you’re putting him on the defensive too much. Committed relationships don’t come easy to Cancer men, and so they are careful about who they make that commitment to. 

As much as he loves you, a Cancer guy would stay away from you if you start going on the offensive too much and he can’t fight back because it’s not in his nature to do so. Checking your recent actions against his will help you know what you’re doing wrong.

19. Both of you just don’t match

Some relationships are just not meant to be, and no amount of maneuver will make them work. If your personalities don’t match what that Cancer guy needs, the relationship will flop no matter how long you try to hold on.

If your amazing attributes don’t suit his needs, you’ll keep pushing for dirt when your gold is somewhere around the corner. Letting go might be the best option in this case.


Why do Cancers push you away?

Cancer partners can push you away if you’re too much for them to handle. They love simple living and avoid anything that would stress them with no benefits to gain.

Why do guys all of a sudden pull away?

Some guys grow distant because they aren’t ready to commit to one woman, while others do so because what attracted them to the woman isn’t sustainable to hold their interest.

What does it mean when a Cancer man stops talking to you?

It means he is no longer interested in any form of contact with you because you hurt him or he doesn’t like you anymore.

Does a Cancer man move on quickly?

A Cancer guy might move on quickly if his feelings for you weren’t deeply rooted in the first place. If he loved you deeply, it might take him a while to move on to someone new.

Are Cancers good in bed?

With the right partner, anyone can do great in bed. Once they have the right partner willing to communicate what they need, Cancer partners are excellent in bed.

In Conclusion 

Cancer men are romantic, but they find it easy to draw the line when they feel their mental health is being threatened. If you are dating a Cancer guy, you should also place a priority on your mental health. That’s the only way you can have a successful relationship with a Cancer guy without feeling frustrated.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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