What To Do When a Guy is Afraid of Commitment - Is He Worth It?

Last updated on May 11, 2024 by Michelle Devani

A real relationship requires on solid foundation: commitment, which is also something a lot of people afraid of. Especially for guys, commitment is like an envelope where their freedom would be taken once they start to do it. As for women, commitment means a guy is serious with her.

But what to do when a guy is afraid of commitment? Will you stay with him, try to change him, or rather find someone else ready for it? It never as simple as it seems, though. Also read Signs That He is Dead Serious About You

Leaving someone you love – just because he doesn’t want commitment – is really hard. Deep down in your heart, you secretly wish that someday, somehow he will commit.

You may give him a chance all you want but you have to do something. Don’t just be numb and going on with the relationship without knowing where will it headed to. So here are some tips from, to handle a guy who is afraid of commitment.

  1. Talk About His Relationship Goals

Everyone has their own relationship goals, unless if they have phobia to commitment. Their relationship usually short-lived, or worse, they are a serial dater. To make sure you’re not wasting your time with this kind of guy, ask what his relationship goals are. In return, share yours as well.

The most important thing is to make sure you head toward the same goals regardless of your age. Because two people with different goals will end up hurting each other – there must be somebody to give up. Also read Signs He is Player

  1. Make a Timeline of Your Relationship

As the time pass by, your relationship change. From courting, getting to know each other, and stepping further to a more serious stage, you’ve got to notice how your relationship progress.

If you are dating a guy who is afraid of commitment, you will forever be at the honeymoon stage of the relationship. Once you notice this going for too long than it should be, move on. Also read Signs that Your Boyfriend is Going to Propose Soon

  1. Prioritize Yourself in the Relationship

When someone has phobia to commitment, it usually not only relationship-wise. He tends to be selfish in everything, putting himself first without giving much consideration to how his act would affect anyone around him.

So the best thing what to do when a guy is afraid of commitment is to prioritize yourself. He’s not gonna put yourself first so if you are being altruistic you’re going face disappointment after disappointment that doesn’t seem endless.

  1. Give Him Time

So you are still together with him because you have this faith that someday, somehow he will change. Probably all you have to do is to wait, especially when he is not a player and he truly loves you. Also read Tips to Keep Your Man Happy in A Relationship

Believe that he is trying too and it’s hard for him. Don’t rush him to commit because it’s not something you can get instantly. As long as you know that he tries and he show little improvement from time to time, he will commit to you eventually.

  1. Make Space in Your Relationship

First, he is afraid of commitment and second, he has become too comfortable with you and the way the relationship is going now. To get him commit to you, all you need is one thing: make space. Cool down from each other, take a break of seeing and contacting each other by any means.

He needs to know how big your presence is for his life. Let him feel like he’s losing you for that some period of time when you don’t exist for him. Once he knows how does it feel without having you around, he’ll change. But if he doesn’t, then he is not worthy to be kept. Walk away before it’s too late.

  1. Dig More Behind What You See

Someone who is afraid of commitment didn’t born that way. His phobia must be based on past experience, usually the traumatized one, that made him choose not to commit with anyone. Maybe he had once hurt too deep that he doesn’t want to feel it again.

Whatever it may be, get him to open up slowly. Find out the reason why he become commitment-phobic to help him find the trust once more. Also read Signs of An Unhealthy Relationship with Boyfriend

  1. Understand the Choice He Made

After all the work to change him, there are chance that he will not change, ever. When the signs appear before your eyes, understand that he probably stick with his choice forever. At this stage, nothing much you can do.

So those are our tips about what to do when a guy is afraid of commitment. In the end, everything comes down to you. It’s on you to choose whether you want to keep going with him or not. Good luck.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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