What to Do When a Guy Just Wants to be Friends with Benefits – How to Say No

Last updated on May 11, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Fear of commitment has brought many people to look for a “friend with benefits” (FWB) kind of relationship. No string attached, free to walk away every time, but still manage to fulfil your desire nonetheless. But in reality, FWB is not as beautiful as what you have imagined.

If you wish your relationship will turn out like one in the movie – where Mila Kunis and JT eventually fall in love and date – you probably want to do a reality check. Real life FWB is much more horrible than that. Also read Can Friend with Benefits Turn Into Relationship

Little to none did they become official couple, most are dumped after one of them find a real love. So if someone ask you to be in an FWB, don’t say yes right away. And if you want to say no but don’t know how, here are what to do when a guy just wants to be friends with benefits with you.

  1. Erase Him from Your Life, Once for All

It’s okay if you think that a guy who ask for an FWB relationship is either being disrespectful or only want to have fun. And if you don’t want to play the game, erasing him for your life like he doesn’t exist could be the best answer.

Don’t go anywhere where he used to be there, avoid activities that might bumped you into him, and if you have no choice, only go there when he’s not there.

However, he might become persistent and show up at your door and call you million times. All you have to do is to tell him NO, clearly and strongly. Also read Different Types of Guys Every Girl Should Date

  1. Tell Him You Want a Commitment

Everyone has their own different view regarding relationship, but one sure thing if he doesn’t want a commitment. And you know what happen if you get involved with a guy like that? You only end up hurt, unless you are also ready for it.

But if you are not, tell him what you really want. Tell him you don’t want an FWB relationship, but you want a real commitment, a true love. Seeing that he is not up for it, then he doesn’t count. You don’t have any reasons to keep him in your life. Also read How to Date A Girl Who Is Afraid Of Commitment

  1. Date for Real

A lot of guy doesn’t like to be rejected, so they will chase after whatever they want until they get it. Rejection will not stop it. Don’t think that only because you said you want a commitment he will back up peacefully just like that. Also read Signs That He is Dead Serious About You

So here are what to do when a guy just wants to be friends with benefits. Find someone and date for real. If it’s impossible to find the right person in a short period of time, fake it. Ask someone to act as your boyfriend just to make him walk away.

Why Should You Reject an FWB Offer

Never, ever think that FWB relationship is all about sex and fun. You need to know why you better not having an FWB relationship. Also read Signs He is Player

  • It Will Not Turn Into a Commitment. He just wanna have fun and he would likely stick with it. It’s a game with no rules right from the beginning, and setting up rules in the middle of it will be wrong.
  • You Don’t Value Yourself. Everyone in FWB sell their value short. What else would it be called? You willingly give somebody your time, your body, and your emotions with nothing for return. While relationship is about take and give, FWB is only giving without taking and you don’t have the right to demand anything. Really, really sad indeed.
  • You Will Fall in Love, Big Time. Emotional bond is created during physical intimacy. That explains why sex is the glue for relationship. So it’s nothing new for an FWB to fall in love with their partner. In which most of them end up having one sided love because it’s the guy who usually doesn’t feel anything. Sure you’re up for this?
  • You Run Toward a Heartbreak. How do you think an FWB relationship ended? Peacefully mutual because we’ve had enough with each other or because I have found someone I want to commit with? One sure thing: when it ended, it will be worse than a breakup.

So those are we got about what to do when a guy just wants to be friends with benefits. Think about your own value before you say yes. And if you just curious and nothing else, don’t ever dare to try if you don’t want to regret it.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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