What To Say To A Girl After Not Talking For A Long Time (31 Winning Things)

Last updated on April 14, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Are you wondering what to say to a girl after not talking for a long time?

Perhaps you know you’re going to bump into an old friend or even someone you used to date after months or years of not talking?’

Whether this was because you fell out or just lost touch, it can be tricky to know what to say in these situations. 

And that’s why I have created this list of 31 things you can say to start the conversation off smoothly as if you've never been gone. 

Here’s a tip that you may find useful. You can use this person’s social media profiles to get an idea of what they’ve been up to in this time away from you. But if this isn’t an option for you, it’s still possible to catch up with their goings on using this communications tracker tool.

This tool can infiltrate their personal devices and reveal a database of information surrounding their recent communications.

You’ll be shocked at the amount of data this tool can grab and present to you in an easy-to-read format. 

It requires just a handful of their personal details to get started - and discretion is guaranteed with this intelligent tool. You’ll be overwhelmed with possible conversation topics, once you learn so much about what they’ve been up to.

If you don’t want to take that step, that’s not a problem either. Instead, you can pick some of your favorite conversation-starters from the list below.


How to Approach a Girl You Haven’t Seen in a Long Time

If you are wondering what to say to a girl after not talking for a long time, you are in the right place. In this article, we will write about the many things you can respond to or say to a girl to get her attention after not talking for a long time. Get her excited to speak to you! 

Maybe she is wondering why you haven’t talked in a long time. It can be fun to start a conversation with someone you have not seen in a while. Be funny! Humor is a great icebreaker, and humor has been shown to keep people interested in staying in the conversation for a longer period of time.

If you miss someone from your past and wonder what they are up to, you should get in touch with them and start a solid conversation about something interesting to both of you. I would suggest that you think about what you want to say to a girl before approaching her. Don’t just start a conversation as if you have never had relationships in your life. Be interested in her!

Today, I invite you to join me on a journey to learn more about what kind of message or conversation you can have with a girl you have not seen in a long time. What are you waiting for? Let’s get busy! I’m excited!

1. Explain that you have missed her

explain that you have missed her

Everyone loves being missed! It shows that you were once interested in the person and still care deeply about him or her. You could explain that you miss the long chats you had in the past and want to know when you could have a conversation like that again. Say that you feel like you have lost touch and that you want to fix that right away.

Alternatively, you could tell her that you cannot believe how long it has been since you have gotten together for a coffee or whatever! Maybe your ex misses your backrubs and mentions that she needs one on her social media account. Also, you could just say something like, “When was the last time you watched an episode of Friends?”

Reminding the girl that you once would find interesting the little things in life and that you miss that. If you remind her of the trouble the two of you used to get into, she’ll probably have a laugh as she travels down memory lane, thinking of the interesting things you used to do together! She might contact you next if you say those things!

2. Ask her how she has been

You might want to mention that you think that the two of you must make time for each other soon! Also, you could just ask if she would like to catch up sometime. Say that you are game for this! If she realizes that you feel just as awkward as she does in having a conversation with you after all this time, she may feel at ease!

3. Ask if she has seen an old mutual friend of yours

This is a great icebreaker! Mention someone that the both of you know well. Ask if she has spoken to this person or show some interest in getting to know more about this person. A little gossip never hurt anyone too bad, right?

4. Send her a funny gif

What a great way to get in touch after an extended period of time! Just do something original like this, and you’ll win her over!

5. Ask her out for a coffee

ask her out for a coffee

Most people are used to being asked out for a coffee date. If you know she doesn’t drink coffee, invite her somewhere else that you know she will enjoy. If you once knew her well, you should know the things that she loves doing! Just think back to how she used to be and try to be original with your date idea!

6. Talk about what is happening with a mutual friend

As mentioned, talking about a mutual friend is a great way to break the ice. You can discuss pregnancies, weddings, births, or other life events that have happened in your friend’s life. Just don’t spread vicious lies or rumors about the person. This girl will likely think that you will gossip about her if you do so very easily about your mutual friend.

7. Invite her to an upcoming event

Ask her what her plans are for the upcoming weekend. Perhaps ask her if she would like to join you and a group of friends to do a group activity this weekend. If you don’t have anything planned, make some awesome plans with your current friends. A group environment often has a better chance of easing the tension in the room.

With other people around, you will not have the one-on-one conversations you may be missing, but you can ease an awkwardness by allowing her to meet new people and talk to them. This should take some of the pressure off you because you won’t be required to carry on a conversation all by yourself. You’ll have others who can chip in!

8. Tell her that it has been too long since you talked!

Talk about the length of time it’s been since the two of you chatted. If you talk about the events that have happened in that period of time, you will likely ease some of the tension you or she may be feeling.

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9. Explain that you have been thinking of her

This is a great way to get back in touch with an old friend. You can be totally casual about it, too. You don’t have to hide your feelings. If you’ve been thinking about her, just let her know that. She’ll likely feel honored that you have missed her after such a long period of time! She might also want to know what you have been thinking about her!

You’ll likely want to be prepared if she asks you that. You could simply explain that you have had a few things that reminded you of her and made you think of her. After that, you can elaborate as much as you want!

10. Tag her in a social media post that she will enjoy!

This is a fantastic way to get back in touch with an old friend! She’ll love that you thought of her when you posted something.

11. Start a conversation about something you both care about

If you share a common interest, hobby, or passion, you can talk about that thing. For example, if you are both into yoga, talk about the latest videos that are out on the subject, the latest news regarding the subject, and the newest celebs that are into this trendy topic. Talk about new experts in your area of interest.

12. Tell her that you heard her big news

This is an excellent way to show her that you have paid attention and want to know more about something you heard or saw on social media. Maybe she got a promotion or something similar; just let her know that you noticed and are proud of her for her big achievements!

13. Explain that you have an announcement

If YOU are the one with the big news going on in your life, consider letting her know that you have something big to share with her. This will give you something wonderful to talk about. You won’t feel uncomfortable because it’s something you are excited about!

14. Remind her of an inside joke

remind her of an inside joke

What a fun way to break the ice after a long period of not talking!

15. Tell her you miss the good old days!

Bring up something from the past, and explain how you really miss that thing! She’ll likely admit that she feels the same way about that thing. Then, the two of you can discuss when you can get together to rekindle the friendship!

16. Tell a funny joke

If you have any good ones, be sure to bring these up! If you don’t, look online! There are tons of great jokes you can borrow to ease the tension in your friendship.

17. Send her a text about something she is passionate about

Talking about something she is passionate about is a great way to ease any tension you may be feeling. She will likely want to talk non-stop about the subject, which gives you a nice way to catch up and excellent conversation topics to follow up with.

18. Talk about something going on in the world today

If you feel comfortable talking about these things with this person, you can certainly bring up things that are going on in the world today! Sometimes, these are just the right things to discuss with an old friend.

19. Say, “You are one of my favorite people! I’ve missed you!”

Who wouldn’t love to hear this from an old friend? Everyone likes to be told they are someone’s favorite person!

20. Tell her that you saw her interesting social media story!

Maybe you follow her on Facebook or Instagram. You could easily mention how great her stories are and what you find interesting about them. She’ll likely enjoy explaining why those things are important to her.

21. Say that you just wanted to make sure she was doing okay

Maybe you feel concerned for her safety for some reason. If you really want to check up on an old friend, be sure to let her know that you care and really want to know if she is okay.

22. Explain that you are sorry for not keeping in touch better

You might explain that you did not mean to “ghost” her or come across as standoffish. Just say that things have been pretty crazy in your life lately! That way, you will have plenty of room to talk about the things in your world that have kept you busy!

23. Comment on a social media post of hers

Another great way to break the ice is to comment on a Facebook post of hers. You could do this with any social media platform. See if she likes or responds to your comment, and then start the friendship up again from there.

24. Contact her and tell her something reminded you of her

You might say that you heard her favorite song or favorite artist on the radio and thought of her. Maybe mention a movie the two of you loved!

25. Love a photo on social media

This is a very easy way to get back in touch with someone from your past. Enjoy loving or liking posts or photos she posts on social media.

26. Ask about her family

ask about her family

If you were once close to her support system, be sure to ask how they are. It’s a simple way to check up on her life and the people who are most important to her.

27. Ask if she is having a great holiday season

What a simple way to ask if she is doing well in life! If her birthday has recently passed, you might say, “Happy belated birthday!” Ask her what she did on her birthday or what she plans to do on the next one!!

28. Say that you have really been meaning to tell her something

This is a fantastic way to get her attention and make her want to reach out to you! She’ll want to know what you have up your sleeve! You’ll certainly make her want to know more. If you don’t have anything that you really want to tell her, you might have to make something up or come up with something that is cool in someone else’s life.

29. Tell her you need some help that only she can provide

Maybe it’s tax time and only she knows how to do your taxes the way you need them done. Maybe you need help studying for an exam and she is an expert in the subject area. I would have something in mind before saying this because she’ll likely accept your proposal and want to help you in any way that she can. 

30. Say something crazy!

If you really want to go wild, just say something insane! You could explain that you have been abducted by aliens and that’s why you lost touch with her! Get creative and say what’s on your mind, but think of something that she will really laugh because of.

31. Say that your horoscope recommended you to contact her!

This is something intriguing that you could say to her if you have not been in touch in a long time. She’ll likely wonder what your sign is and if the horoscope gave you any further advice on what you should do. She might make a joke about how silly you are for listening to that advice. It depends on the girl. 


What do you say to a girl after a long silence?

You can have fun conversations, and you don’t have to feel awkward about it. Show you are a confident man with a romantic interest (if you have one) by telling her you haven’t started dating anyone recently. She’ll see this as an open invite for a possible romantic relationship or date.

What should I text a girl after a long time?

Look at the last text you sent. The first text you send to reinitiate contact could relate to that one. You don’t have to make small talk when you start texting her again. Instead, just pick up where you left off with that last message. The first message should start a conversation.

How do you respond when someone texts you after a long time?

If you lost touch with an old friend, you might want to go on a coffee date and have some fun. It depends on the old friend, though. If you are being contacted by past guys in your life, you might want to be careful before you start talking to them again, especially if you’re taken!

How do I break the silent treatment?

If it’s been a long time since you’ve talked to someone, you don’t want to message them all the time without any reciprocation. Wait to respond to the first message. Play a little hard to get after you message someone; don’t message them back right away, or you might appear desperate.

What causes silence in a relationship?

Often, people just get busy and stop talking to their friends because of it. If you want to rekindle a relationship, don’t rely on a text conversation alone. Meet in person for a coffee date or something. Meeting in person will allow you to really chat and catch up on things.

To Sum It All Up

What message do you send guys or girls after not talking for a long time? What is the follow-up message you send to keep the conversation going? What kind of explanation do you give for your absence? We want you to write comments to us about this! We’re waiting! 🙂

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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