Are you messaging a man who you’re desperate to leave an impression on?
Are you looking for ideas of texts to send to drive him wild with desire?
If so, this is the right place. Below, you’ll find a wide range of texting to make a man more interested in you.
But first, I want to tell you a quick story that I think you’ll definitely want to hear...
Recently, I have been studying a psychological routine that quickly makes men OBSESS over you whenever you’re around.
It’s based on a primal trigger within his mind called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.
When activated, this psychological trigger releases addictive hormones into his mind that make him feel AMAZING.
Needless to say, if you can learn how to activate this part of his mind, he’ll become addicted to YOU pretty fast.
I know this because I’ve studied the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ and seen the results for myself. My relationships with men have never been deeper or more meaningful.
You can discover more about how the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ works in my personal blog post. At this point, few people seem to be aware of this, meaning it’s your chance to stand out from the competition.
With that said, let’s now explore some ideas to win his interest via text message.
Getting someone to fall in love with you over text is a lot like doing it in person, except with a few tweaks here and there. The convenience of texting makes it accessible to everyone, yet nuances can just as easily get lost in between, leading to possible misinterpretation.
Then again, texting gives you the precious chance of actually thinking before you talk. Unlike phone calls and even in-person communication, you can reply in your time if you need to. Since crushes are historically known to bring out your gibberish speaking abilities, this is a big pro.
But obviously, it takes more than time to move from being acquaintances with your crush to your desired landing point that is their heart.
Now I generally try not to make promises, but you can count on the following techniques to move you several steps closer to achieving your goal. All you have to do is discern how to apply them to your specific situation.
There’s a way you talk to someone who you are only pursuing a friendship with compared to one you have a raging crush on. The difference might be subtle for some people, but trust me, it’s there. For one, it’s typical to act more flustered with the latter than casual, and that can give you away faster than you can say, Jack Robinson.
Whether you already have a rapport going (acquaintances and above) or the baton falls on you to initiate conversation, it’s integral to your success that you be subtle.
As you know, first impressions are everything in cases like this. If you have a tabula rasa with your crush (as opposed to someone you are already friends with), you are luckier than most so take advantage.
Most people go with hooking their love interest’s attention with something catchy, but more than just memorizing pickup lines, it’s best to make your intro you. Lay a foundation that sets the tone for the dynamic they are likely to get if you keep talking.
Short and to the point is kind of the whole point of texting, wouldn’t you say? But by that, I don’t mean to go confessing your feelings just yet. Plenty of time to get there. What I mean is not to succumb to temptations to prolong conversations into the late nights except when necessary.
If you’ve had some back and forth going (glance exchanges, TL rapport, etc.), even more reason to keep things brief when you first start to chat. It leaves them curious for more and thus looking forward to their next opportunity to fill in the blanks.
Don’t be the passive texter who leaves all the work to their texting buddy and is just there to confirm or deny their thoughts. Trust me, even the most curious person will eventually lose interest if chatting with you takes that much out of them. Make it feel less like work for both parties by simply learning to keep the conversation going.
For instance, don’t just say hi, but instead, try to make each message worth replying to. If not a question, then a piece of information that warrants their attention. That makes it feel less automated and more animated.
You can do your best to keep the convo going when you and your crush chat, but at the end of the day, these things work both ways. As I touched on in the previous point, keeping them talking is key to the continuity of your textationship, and open-ended questions help you achieve just that.
Do you feel like he kind of takes you for granted?
Unfortunately this is one of the most frequent complaints we get from our readers, where they feel they aren't a priority for their boyfriend or husband. They always seem to have some excuse as to why they can't spend some quality time with you like they used to.
To see if he actually likes you take this quick free quiz and we'll let you know if it's worth putting any more time into this guy.
However, this isn’t a justification to turn every text session into an interview. Let your questions flow naturally with the context, so it just feels like two people talking rather than you digging for info. If your crush is not just keen on answering but asks some of their own in return, it’s a possible sign of interest on their part.
Memes are the universal language of the internet. If it’s funny to you, chances are it will make your crush smile too, or at least be confused enough to ask you what it means, i.e., carry on the conversation. If you don’t have much faith in your sense of humor, go with the trending or most shared ones in their location.
Memes are the best ways to show your crush you have a sense of humor and find out if theirs match yours. Don’t go sending every ridiculous or hilarious thing you find to them, though. They can be one of your conversation starters or a go-to when words fail, but don’t overdo it.
Body language, which is the chief advantage physical interactions have over all other types of communication, is unfortunately no good in texting because you can’t see each other. Thankfully, we have features (emojis, gifs, memes) that come in as close seconds for clarifying the tone of your text, which is all too easy to lose in translation.
However, there’s a thin line between expressing yourself better and coming across as immature. This line shifts with each person, so if unsure, just try to go off of how often they, themselves, use these insertions or generally use them minimally.
Mirroring is one of the body language signs of attraction that people can easily pick up in physical settings. Thankfully, these non-verbal cues can be picked up in texting as well, especially by discerning eyes.
You can adopt their use of attachments, language, text back speed, or whatever else you notice. Just try to make it look like a subconscious thing you found yourself doing and not a blatant mimicry. This shows your crush you’ve been paying attention, which will likely make them smile and, hopefully, reciprocate.
One of the reasons we spend time talking to people we like is to get to know them better, right? In the process of doing that, keep an eye out for things you happen to both like/have in common. Some people can be shy around those they find attractive and may need a bit of encouragement to relax.
A surefire way to get your crush to loosen up is to maneuver your early conversations towards something they know and like. In return, being able to relate to what they are passionate about gives grounds for instant connection.
Everyone has their corner of the internet, where they go to find certain content. Yet, no matter how ardent a user is, no one really gets them all. It literally takes people in and out of everyone’s network to share stuff, including your crush.
Every now and then, the algorithm may bring something your way that is relevant to your romantic interest, when that happens, feel free to share with them. It can be about your mutual interests, trending topics, their job, and not just the fun, flimsy stuff. If nothing else, this gives you an excuse to talk to them and further secure your relevance in their orbit.
Everyone has an area they naturally excel at. Find yours as it pertains to social relations and prioritize them over aspects where you don’t. We can’t all be quirky or hot, but there’s a lot in between, one just has to figure out where on the spectrum they fall.
Some people are effortlessly good with words. Patience might be your thing or intelligence for days. The point is, there’s more than one way to be impressive, and recognizing your strong suit helps you put your best foot forward.
Texting with your crush should be interesting and playful. There is absolutely no reason to be having relationship problems this early on in your interaction. (If they are still a crush, no matter how long you’ve had it, it’s early.)
I’m not saying pretend to be happy-go-lucky if you usually aren’t, but make it a general rule to steer clear of gloom. They are more likely to look forward to your name popping up on their screen when you make them smile rather than depressed.
Unless being anonymous is your whole thing, punctuating your texts with media can be a great way to bring diversity into the mix. Words are great and all, but as made evident with the invention of memes, gifs, and emojis, they are not enough, even in texting.
Sharing jpegs can make up for most people’s top reservation with chatting through texts which is how impersonal it can sometimes seem. Let your crush in on moments in your life through photos and videos, and they’ll learn to do the same (ask if they don’t). Once you make it to this stage, your odds of pulling through improve.
I understand that some people like to know the end of what they are getting into sometimes before even starting. If you are like that, you may need to learn how to be laid-back and just let things flow. Sure, there’s a place for taking the driver’s seat, but sometimes, you let the moment decide.
It doesn’t have to be so deep as to compromise your principles, just a bit of open-mindedness and flexibility make for better-shared experiences than a rigid mindset.
Teasing is an underrated way to get under someone’s skin, as long as you know where to draw the line. Though a form of flirting, playful jabs can help alleviate romantic tension that may otherwise make you choke up.
Teasing your crush also highlights your confidence which is way more attractive than wearing how intimidated they make you on your sleeve. Plus, what’s the worst that could happen? You hit a soft spot and apologize? Sounds to me like a small price to pay for a chance to get your crush to smile/laugh considering it’s a shortcut to most people’s hearts.
We all have varying thresholds for being teased, and as such, it can help to temper the seriousness by learning to laugh at yourself too. Let your crush know this is a safe, comfortable space to let their guard down, or your attempt at making them laugh may come across as offensive, even when well-intentioned.
Wherever things lead, whether you end up being friends or lovers, laughing at and with each other bodes well for the quality and longevity of your relationship.
Conversely, if your crush’s sensitivities make teasing them challenging, you can always revert to good ol’ ego massage because who doesn’t like to feel important? I wouldn’t overdo it, though, because flattery is easy to see through, and frankly, can be counterproductive if you want them to fall in love with you.
They are more likely to feel special if you keep your commendation rooted in the truth. This is why it’s safer to do it from the pov of their impact and not based on the pedestal crushing on someone inadvertently makes you place them on.
Compliments, though inherently good, can rub people off the wrong way if they don’t believe you mean it. And let’s face it, we are more likely to feel good about a compliment you know the sender sincerely means than a common over-flogged one they tell everyone.
A way to personalize your compliments is to make it about their craft, personality, and generally non-material stuff, and not just physical appearance. Also, less is more here if you want to preserve the appeal of your approval.
Speaking of preservation, to avoid being taken for granted, you need to ration your entire availability to your crush, not just how often you compliment them. Don't make things too easy for them, or they might get bored. Don't try too hard at anything, and if you are, don't make it apparent.
It helps to take a step back occasionally to observe your position in this person’s life objectively. The feelings may not be all the way mutual yet, but they still need to be receptive to what you bring to appreciate it fully. In between those assessments, let them have you only in small doses but make it count.
You can’t win someone over by being monotonous and repetitive unless you have it on good authority that boredom turns them on. Don’t, in the name of being careful or whatever, start and end conversations in a predictable manner.
Show your crush you are a dynamic individual by diversifying the topics you talk about, and they will be more likely to look forward to doing more with you.
I know I said being playful and lighthearted does it, but when the time is right, showing your vulnerable side can make your crush fall for you even faster. It shouldn’t happen often, so they actually appreciate it when you decide to get deep.
What counts as below the surface can be anything from a secret in context to an embarrassing encounter you had recently. This not only humanizes you to your crush, it’s also one of the rawest ways to connect as it makes them comfortable enough to share privileged info with you as well.
On the flip side, it doesn’t have to be emotional/personal to be deep. You can always touch on meaningful subjects like mental health, future plans, space travel, politics, and the environment if that’s more your scene.
If we’ve established anything so far, it’s that you can get a whole lot done with texting. Nevertheless, it has its limitations. As I said, the nuances make up a crucial aspect of communication that only the best of texters manage to capture. And that’s not accounting for how the receiver interprets it.
While this form of communication may win when setting up casual sex, phone calls or face-to-face are more suited for more engaging conversations. For one, you don’t have to spend a chunk of time typing and reading epistles, and you can pick up on tone and subtle body expressions.
Flirting is a non-threatening way to test the waters and let your crush know you’re interested in being more than friends with them. There’s nothing wrong with getting sexy with your crush if you know how and want to, but considering they might not be as comfortable just yet, it’s best to build up to it.
Just as you wouldn’t dive into the deepest ends of unfamiliar waters, best to start simple and then gradually turn up the heat if they match your gusto.
If, like most people these days, you chat with your crush on social media, see your posts as an avenue to indirectly acquaint them with your personality. Pro tip: assume they are watching if you are talking and filter accordingly if need be.
The idea is to give your crush a glimpse of what they’d be signing up for if you grew closer. Exposing them to different sides of your full life is not only more attractive but more sustainable than advertising one genre.
In the DMs, let it go down. Public comments work too, but if you are the type who would rather other people not be in on your romantic interests, you can make your gushing for their eyes only. This will either make them smile and feel seen or weirded out if you give stalker vibes.
Being their turf, if they engage readily and get a whole conversation going from there, know they are either bored or “gasps,” your crush likes you.
Even if all you want to do is text your crush all day, this is one of those instances in life where you need to fight your impulse. It doesn’t matter how out of your league your feelings for your crush make them seem, try not to sell yourself short by being overeager.
How? Wait till they reply to your texts before sending a new one, and if you must send a follow-up, make sure it’s warranted and well-spaced. Be enthusiastic alright, but not so much the effort scale tilts heavily towards you.
People love to play hero to those they care about. Ask your crush for recommendations, advice, and thoughts on any subject they are pretty savvy on, and notice how they react. Someone who likes you back might take that as their chance to shine and be more than happy to come through.
Make sure to keep it light, too. You can ask about shows and movies to watch on Netflix if that’s their forte. Also, music, fun places to visit, books, or whatever they are into.
I once saw somewhere that bonding over music is a different kind of joy, and I couldn’t agree more. Sharing the same taste in music may not guarantee that you get to live happily ever after with your crush, but studies find it plays a positive role in attraction.
Following the same principle as the familiarity effect, shared preferences convey similar values and personal inclinations. Finding someone with the same taste as you in music can feel like finding kin, so sharing that Spotify link may not be the worst idea.
When you and your crush start to hit it off, you will likely want to ride the wave as you’re feeling it, and that’s okay. However, you should be careful not to let desire be the sole thing driving your speed if you don’t want it to burn out as quickly.
Unless all you want with them is a casual conversation with sex, leave some things to the imagination. The longer you can manage to do this, the better. Focus on establishing a meaningful connection between you online before pushing to take it offline.
If you’ve had some really good time texting with your crush, you can use your old chats to trigger nostalgia in your love interest. “Remember when...” Or you can follow up on a previous conversation you’ve had in the past, perhaps to ask for an update or to genuinely learn more now you’ve grown closer.
E.g., “Tell me more about [insert an interest they once mentioned in passing], I still can't picture you in [something embarrassing] lmao.” The sentiment is bound to make them smile, but you should also make it fun, so it ends on a light, cheerful note.
Goals keep us on track, and they can be just as handy in texting as they are crucial to succeeding in life. If you struggle with being articulate in your crush’s presence or tend to get distracted once you start chatting, it might help to prioritize your reason for reaching out.
Before you text your crush, ask yourself what you hope to achieve by doing it. To know what they are up to or have a heart-to-heart chat? If the latter, what about? This gives you some direction and keeps you from being a nervous wreck if/when you lead the conversation.
You know your crush. I'm sure you spend a big chunk of your time getting in every detail about them you can get your hands on. Use what you know of them, e.g., their social media persona, to gauge what they might be receptive to and then initiate conversations along those lines.
As for the timing, I’d double-check all my sources before sending a risqué text, for example, or making a sensitive joke. If you are close enough to tell when they are not in a good mood, that might not be the best time to tease them if you value your relationship.
I say this as someone who, most times, sorts through like 9999 scenarios before replying to a simple chat from someone I like. I overthink a lot, and while the trait has its days, often, it's just an unnecessary source of anxiety.
I’m slowly learning to give unfounded concerns and the ones I can’t really do anything about the finger. Seeing as my conversations generally flow better, and I feel less anxious doing that, I’m inclined to recommend blurting occasionally to everyone.
Notwithstanding, that it’s okay to be random while chatting is no excuse to let yourself go to the point of putting zero thoughts into chatting with your crush. Don't start complaining, nagging, or acting entitled to them just because you’ve grown a bit closer, either.
I wish I could tell you that consistently letting your crush see you at your worst wouldn’t change anything, but unfortunately, attraction at that level isn’t unconditional just yet, if ever. You have to keep up appearances or risk jeopardizing your chances of taking your relationship any further.
If relationship talk comes up, sure, discuss it and answer their questions but don't go baiting them for information they are unwilling to share. If you must know, ask directly, even if you aren’t satisfied by their response, take it as gospel until proven otherwise.
If they turn out to be a liar, perhaps it’s a sign you shouldn’t be crushing on them. But pending that conclusion, don’t go hounding them for specifics of their relationship with every single person they post, they don’t owe you such explanations at this level.
Though it may feel like it by the way your heart skips a beat when they pass by, your crush isn’t perfect. They are bound to make mistakes like any of us, and when that happens, your first instinct might be to let it slip but don't.
If your feelings for them are apparent by now, even more reason not to let disrespect slide. Chances are they will respect you more for standing up for yourself. If they don’t, and it comes to choosing between keeping them and your self-worth, I hope you choose the latter.
You can't realistically expect to be witty all the time, especially if you are not that extra in real life. But you remember what we said about keeping things light, that should be your default.
Things will happen in between as you grow closer for sure, but you stand a chance to come back from even the worst of them when you make humor your base.
If you are already on to a good start with your crush, an excellent way to grow familiarity is by sharing the simple, everyday stuff. It works way better than calculated topics if you are both into it, especially if love is your end goal.
Give them a look into how awesome your authentic self in all its mundaneness (compared to what you might be comfortable putting on SM.) is. Send pictures of what you are up to on occasion and ask them for some too. Like I said earlier, it adds a much-needed personal angle to your tête-à-tête.
Too much information is the enemy of passion as fleeting as a crush can be. If you don’t want to find out the hard way, I suggest keeping a lot more to yourself than you readily share. Things like how badly your ex treated you or the sad realities of your childhood are conversations you save for your boyfriend or girlfriend, not a crush.
There’s a need for mystery–infatuation’s lifeforce to consider and the potential contempt overfamiliarity causes. Trust me, you don’t want that too soon.
There’s a thin line between adopting someone’s qualities to make them feel more at home with you and shedding your own personality to take on theirs. Unfortunately, this will only leave you crushless and single at the end of the day, with no one else to blame but yourself.
People may be looking for part of themselves in a partner, but I doubt anyone sets out hoping to meet and fall in love with their doppelganger. It takes more than liking all of the same things to be compatible, so not even that is an excuse to don a faux persona.
Show your crush you’ve been listening by using information gained while getting to know them to your advantage. Relating with people is so much easier when you know what they like and don’t like. Learn their love language, and you’ll become the person who doesn’t miss.
Except you fell for someone in the minority that doesn’t like surprises, imagine all the points you can get for pulling off apt ones back to back.
Special occasions like your crush’s birthday are another chance to show you’ve been paying attention. This may not be an easy task to achieve, but finding a way to outdo the barrage of sweet love they will receive from loved ones will stand you out.
It might not be the most expensive gift, but along the same lines as the previous point, try to put some thought into it.
Part of being your authentic self is talking about what gives you butterflies outside of romance. And not just in a “me too” context when your crush discusses theirs. Your hobbies, job, family, and dreams make up a large part of who you are. If you want them to feel just as seen/important as your potential partner, it starts with how you present them now.
Let your crush experience you in a different dimension by looking for exciting activities you can do together besides texting. This can be anything from online dates to pressure-free physical activities like hiking. Bonus points if you pick something you are particularly good at where you can show off your skillset.
In all you do, don’t forget to find ways to allude to your singleness before they get too comfortable with you. As your bond deepens, it’s a slippery slope to the friend zone if you don’t make it known that you are interested in something more with them. However, in doing this, try not to seem desperate because there’s no greater turn-off than that.
Unlike crushes, love doesn’t come at first sight, and neither does it happen overnight. You can do everything right and still not be guaranteed your desired outcome because you also can’t force it. What you can do, though, is give your budding connection time to develop, and maybe, just maybe, something more profound might come of it.
Finally, if you’ve crossed the t’s and dotted your i’s, been nice and naughty, and they still don’t seem to get the hint, it might be time to tell them straight-up. Be confident when you declare your feelings, and of course, prepare for the possibility that they might not be romantically interested in you, even if they don’t dislike you as a person.
But you never know, they may have also been crushing on you the whole time and just been too chicken to say something.
Show them you care without being a suck-up. Be funny and attractive and smile using emojis. Prove they can trust you and hear them out when they need to chat. Say good morning on most days and don’t fall asleep during a conversation.
Open-ended questions to keep them talking. The occasional compliments and generally fun and interesting stuff.
You spend time with them putting your best foot forward, and hope for the best.
Yes, it's possible to fall in love over texting but nurturing the love takes more than that.
A textationship is a relationship where texting is the primary form of communication.
How to make your crush fall in love with you over text? There you go. I am confident these tips will help you get your crush and give you one of the awesome and best relationships. Remember, this is just a guide, not a set of hard-and-fast rules.
Want to drop your own cool thoughts on how to get your crush? Feel free to start a conversation by listing them in the comments. I’d like to hear what you think. Maybe share the link with the people you send memes to, also. If you liked it, they probably will too.
Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you.
Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz