Sometimes best friends act the worst than any of your other friends and that is the time you want to let them know it and that you hate them. There are reasons why you should finally need to let them know that their behavior is out of control and might be destructive for both of you and them and even to others.
They may started acting bad like never before, or they may started to go on parties you were not invited to, or started to spread fake news while still around with you, or many other beyond annoying things they have made.
However, letting people especially bestfriends know that you hate them is not that simple. It is not like you would tell strangers that they are being annoying so that they can finally left. Best Friends will likely still around even when you have decided to call them EX-best friends.
Before you decide to tell them you hate them, it is better to observe if they still act the same from the beginning to see if it was you or them who is having problem. Look closer to find out if you and your bestfriend are still being friendly to each other and that you are the one who changed.
But if you are very sure that you have to end the friendship and that you hate them, you can try these.
You can text them via group message or one-on-one. Be as clear as possible and mention that you still want to be their friend if you wanted to. Be prepared for the harsh reply but don’t get angry because maybe your text is a bit shocking and unexpected.
“Hi all, I have been patience all this weeks with all of your behaviour and I have tried to find out what was wrong with me that I have been sad and hurt all weeks long, but I think I couldn't find the reason what is wrong with me. So guys I think the one who is wrong is you and I don’t want to hold it any longer. I hate and being hurt by what you have done (insert time) when (insert events). I wish that day never happened and I hope you guys still be my friends”
“I need to tell you guys that I hate what you did to me lately, I cried”
“I have made myself overthink lately after the incident when (insert events). I need to tell you that I have been hurt and cried. I really really hate it happened and been disappointed with you all I couldn’t believe it”
2.Discuss With Them
If you are brave enough to walk solo to face the possible confrontation from your besties, then you can make time to meet them and say what you need to say. If your friends are kind, open and fair enough, this would be smooth. You can discuss about your feeling in a comfortable places like coffee shops, bars, or parks.
Good friends will always listen and care of other’s feelings. You can also offer to pay all the meal this time so that they will all show up to listen.
Open the conversation with
“Thank you guys you are here I really appreciate it”
“Thank you for coming I love that you all care”
“Thanks guys you make time to see me”
Continue to tell the points as polite as possible that you hate them. But expect that they might be uncomfortable and defensive.
“ I’m here only to let you know guys that I’m very disappointed by what you have done to me lately, I almost want to end this friendship so bad I hate it. Did you guys do it on purpose?”
Then you can continue to wait the answers with patience and don’t easily get angry. Remember that you are discussing not confronting.
“I have been very sad and over think I could die and I hate that. Do you guys care of what I’m feeling because I do care of yours?”
And after all of them tell their reasons and their feelings, you can ask them if they still want to be your friend, or if all of you need some time to break.
“However, because you are the best friends I have ever wanted, I really hope that this doesn’t break our friendship. I only need you know that sometimes things you do are very hurtful so that you can stop doin it. You can tell me what you don’t like of me too”
“I think our friendship needs a break”
“I wish I had better friends who care what other feelings”
“I wish I knew how to shake my sadness off of this problem”
3. Fade Out
If you don’t have a heart to tell them directly that you hate them, you can tell with your action and fade out method might the best one to try.
You can slow down the phase of your friendship by replying the text late or not at all, not attending the parties with them, saying no to everything about them while focusing on other things like doing your hobby more and use your energy to other things for let say studying better or have extra lessons at school, or outside school if your friends are from the same school.
The fade out is a method to slowly but eventually leave your insensible friends behind and find the new better ones from activities you do recently. You can also share the problem to other more sensible friends of yours and hope they help or at least understand the situation so that they will not cause any more problems.
“I’m being honest to you because you are the one who are sensible, so I want to share what I’m feeling to you…”
“Thank you for being very supportive and sensible than the rest of them, so…”