If You Find Out Your Husband Was a Crossdresser, What Would You Do?

Last updated on May 11, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Crossdressers are judged negatively by the society. Men crossdressers are considered abnormal because they like to dress like a woman, which later raise suspicions from people. However, this kind of habit dies hard and will be carried no matter how old the person is.

They are also aware that their existence are not well-received, so men crossdressers usually hide their personality from their spouses hoping never to be found.

In many cases, wives found their husbands wearing their dress and shoes when they are not home, much to their surprise to see what their husband wears. Also read Signs of Good Husband Material to Marry

But what if this happen to you? Not in the present, but turns out your husband loved crossdressing in the past before he met you. If you find out your husband was a crossdresser, what would you do? Would you freak out immediately or stay calm?

In this article we will give you some suggestions about how should you do when you find your husband was a crossdresser.

  1. Dig Deeper About It

The first time you find out about it must be shocking, but depends on the way you have to dig deeper about it. If somebody told you about it, see who talked. Are they someone trustable? Close to your husband? Or even are they a nice person? Everything should be put into consideration.

If you find out through old photos or videos, on what occasion they were taken? Is it just a school festival, party costume, or anything? Don’t quickly jump into conclusion without a strong supporting proof. Also read How to Know If Your Husband is Having a Midlife Crisis

  1. Clear Your Mind from Any Negative Judgement

A lot of things must be going on in your mind to know that your husband was a crossdressers. Take a deep breath and avoid having any judgement. Negative judgement also affects you negatively and it will overshadowing your thoughts in general.

Not all crossdressers are gays. Even their personality considered as deviance, but it can also be a phase in his life. One thing you should also understand is that crossdressing can be cured.

Just like how everyone went through different phases during the growth, it’s probably just one of them. Also read How to Know If Your Husband is Having Crush on Another Woman

  1. Find Out More About Crossdresser

Doing some research never hurt. In fact, you have to find more about crossdressing. Whether it’s the stories from crossdressers, how their partners find out, and how their relationship turns out to be. Also read Characteristic of A Healthy and An Unhealthy Relationship

Learning from others give you a lot of thoughts about what should you do next. You can find out too why a man become a crossdresser before you talk about it with your husband. Confronting him with nothing in your hand only leads to endless argument that might endanger your marriage.

  1. Bring Up the Topic

Before you tell him that you know he was a crossdresser, try to bring up the topic generally. You may share about how men loves to dress as a woman and ask what he think about it. You can also share that a friend of yours find out that her husband was actually a crossdressers.

Give him hint about your thoughts too so that he will open up to you later. Avoid judgement here, though.

  1. Tell Him You Find Out About It

Another thing about if you find out your husband was a crossdresser, what should you do? Of course you should tell him about it. It’s the only way you get clarity to all of your suspicions toward him.

However, talk it out in a calm manner. Don’t start a fight as try to keep your tone as low as possible. Don’t shout to him and don’t judge him for anything before you listen to him. Also read Tips to Keep Your Man Happy in A Relationship

  1. Listen to His Explanation

He has to explain and you need explanation too. Listen to him carefully, every words that he said. If he needs time and be prepared before telling you, let him take his time. Understand that this is not something easy to share about, especially to you.

Assure him that you love him no matter what and you really appreciate honesty from him.

  1. Look for the Best Solution Together

The most important thing after you find out about his crossdressing habit is deciding the next move. What will you do about the marriage? Help him to overcome his habit if it’s what’s best for both of you.

Those are our tips about if you find out your husband was a crossdresser, what should you do. Hopefully you can find this article helpful. And if you have similar experience, share with us through the comment section below.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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