Trust is something that you earn and is not something that you can give away to the people randomly. There are also some people who need to take some times to get to know someone before they take them as a friend or someone that they can trust. We want to have someone that we can trust. Even though the person is not the person that we can depend on (and we shouldn’t), but it feels good when you have someone that you can trust and share some stories with.
As a human being, what we need the most is the mental support and not the physical support. It is our nature that we will prefer happiness than the pain, obviously. And putting trust as one of the main thing within a relationship is one of the factors that help us to keep the relationship going. And of course you already know the signs a man is emotionally connected to you before having a relationship with him.
But, even we already run a relationship with someone, there are so many obstacles that may make us doubt the trust that we have given to that person. For example, knowing my boyfriend got another girl pregnant before we started dating, what should I do? Should we break up? Should I forgive him and keep going?
It is not about what kind of problem that we will face, but it is more into how we overcome the problem. It will show our personality and quality as a person. It can also show your boyfriend personality, in this case. And if you were having the same case, here is what you need to do.
- know the problem background
When you are facing the “my boyfriend got another girl pregnant before we started dating, what should I do” problem, you need to dig more information regarding the problem.
There are a lot of things in life that may seems so negative when we only see it from the surface and not knowing what was actually happening. And to get the credible source, you will need to ask directly to the interviewees, which is your boyfriend.
Having the conversation with your boyfriend will give you more information from one perspective side. There are so many possibilities of the problem background if you want to think and dig more. It might have more logical reasoning such as, your boyfriend never knew that his ex girlfriend is pregnant, his ex girlfriend never wanted to tell your boyfriend that she is pregnant, and many more reasons.
This is one of the way on how to solve misunderstanding between boyfriend girlfriend, and make the relationship last.
- fix your communication problem
The fact that you just knew your boyfriend got another girl pregnant before you start dating him shows that both of you is lacking a good communication way. If you were having a good communication way with him before, you can found out that he got another girl pregnant before you were dating.
And that also means that you take that factor as a factor to consider him to be your boyfriend or not. But, the reality is, you didn’t know it before, and he is your boyfriend now. It may seems like this problem is his fault but knowing that you just knew that he got another girl pregnant, may alter his fault into your fault.
You cannot do a one way judgement here. Know what’s your communication problem, and fix it. You can start from a simple things such as knowing the things to say to your boyfriend when the conversation gets boring.
- think of a new consideration
What are you going to do next? Fixing your communication problem is not enough to solve the whole thing, because this problem affect the trust that you have, and the way you are thinking about your boyfriend now. You will also need to think more and have more deeper thoughts.
Ask yourself, will you still believe your boyfriend after the problem? Will you not bring up this problem in the future if both of you face a relationship problem? If you don’t think like you can comprehend it, then you might need to consider to end the relationship. Because being in a relationship where someone keep blaming us for the past mistakes is a sign that we have a toxic relationship.
People change, people make mistakes, but does not mean that if they made a mistake, they cannot try to be a better person in the future. And does telling little white lies causing big problems in relationship? I guess you know the answer when you are trying to fake that you are fine but you actually not.
Lesson learned in my boyfriend got another girl pregnant before we started dating, what should I do topic is that we need to know a problem in the big picture first before we start judging.
And we will also need to reflect the cause of the problem that exist in the relationship. Because the problem that occur can also be caused by ourselves, and not our partner.