What To Do When My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To See Me As Much As I Want To See Him (23 Real Things)

Last updated on June 12, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Is your boyfriend hesitating to spend time with you? 

Is it you who is clearly the most excited to meet up? 

Are you worried that this means your love is fading? 

If so, I urge you to read on as this article features a guide on how to improve a situation like this. 

However, before we get into that, I need you to read the following sentences very carefully. 

When a man turns cold on you, there is always a reason. 

And it’s perfectly normal for you to fear that there is another woman on the scene. 

Men need to get love and affection from somewhere after all.

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If your partner is doing the dirty on you, this tool will usually make it completely obvious. 

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It’s completely discreet, so there’s no danger of him finding out he’s being tracked. This is the key to your peace of mind and (hopefully) saving your relationship.

With that said, scroll down for my guide on fixing a relationship where your man doesn’t want to meet you as often.

Sometimes, not all romantic relationships last forever. Along the way, a problem can rise up that disturbs the relationship. The most shocking one is fading love.

A fading love is almost always shown by someone not wanting to be with us as often as we want to see them. In this stage of the relationship, you need to choose what to do. I'll share with you a few alternatives on what to do when my boyfriend doesn't want to see me as much as I want to see him.


23 Things to Do If Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Want to See You Much

Relationships are hard! You put forth all of this effort, and then you don’t get your way! What’s up with that?

If you are in a relationship like this, my best advice is to find out why he doesn’t want to spend time with you. Then, you can make adjustments based on his answer. However, guys aren’t always willing to share the truth when it comes to things like that, right? They clam up and won’t share the real reasons they are wanting space.

If you can tell your man wants to spend time alone, you may have to just understand that he needs time and space away from you. Keeping busy is the best course of action at this point. You need to learn to love to spend time by yourself. Find something that fills your schedule that makes you happy!

Today, we’ll determine other solutions to this problem, so you will know the many ways you can cope on your own!

1. Find out the reason why

Talk to your boyfriend about this problem. Find out the reason that he wants to spend more time without you. Is he just busy, or does he want a break in your relationship? It’s crucial that you determine the reason for the discord in your relationship so that you can change your actions or viewpoints about what is going on. 

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You might not want to flat out ask him why he doesn’t seem to want to spend time with you, but you could indicate that you’ve noticed the two of you aren’t spending as much time together, and you miss him. Maybe he hasn’t even realized that he’s been neglecting you. If so, things may naturally work themselves out!

2. Ask him if he is seeing someone else

Again, I wouldn’t just straight-up ask him if he’s cheating with another girlfriend, but you could tell him that you’re wondering what he’s been up to. Ask him if there is another girlfriend in the picture because you would like to date other guys if that’s the case (or end the relationship if you don’t want any competition).

3. Stay busy

stay busy

Find your own ways to occupy your time. Engulf yourself in a new passion; take up knitting, quilting, scrapbooking, soccer, yoga, or karate; find something that occupies your time so much that you forget about this guy. You’ll make him start to wonder what you are up to; he’ll start to miss you, and he’ll soon be knocking on your door to go out!

4. Find new ways to spend your time

Take some college courses, get into a new television series on Netflix or Hulu, or join a gym. You may begin loving spending time away from him so much that you’ll realize that your relationship wasn’t that great, to begin with. Maybe you will get the feeling that you would be better off alone, or perhaps you will meet someone new at one of these things.

5. Give him space

If you think your guy needs time away from you, give it to him! You don’t need to always spend every second with this guy anyway, right? There are plenty of ways you can occupy your time that doesn’t involve him, even if it’s just eating ice cream and watching romantic comedies by yourself. Keep yourself occupied, so you don’t miss him!

6. Consider dating around

If your boyfriend is not giving you the attention you deserve, you might want to spend time with other guys. I would first let your boyfriend know what’s going on, so you aren’t cheating. Analyze your relationship to decide how serious it really is; then, have a long talk with your man about what you think for the future of your relationship.

He may want to begin spending more time with you to prevent you from ending the relationship or pursuing a relationship with someone else. He may get the feeling that you do need more attention and begin giving it to you!

7. Explain that you aren’t getting enough attention

Be open and honest about your feelings and the way you believe your relationship is going. Explain that you have needs that aren’t being met. 

8. Determine what he enjoys doing with his time

Find out what his passions and hobbies are. What does he do during his alone time? Develop a relationship where you enjoy doing the same things. Don’t deny your true nature, but it never hurts to learn something new. Give it a shot, at least. You may discover you love something you never thought you would!

9. Join him in doing his favorite things

Once you know what he loves doing with his time, you can join him in doing those things. For example, if he loves hunting and fishing, join him at the next hunting expo! This way, you can spend time together, and your relationship will get stronger because you are sharing an interest together.

10. Spend more time with work, friends, and family

Again, I strongly recommend you spend more time alone - without your boyfriend. You can spend your time with your family and friends - your support group, or you might want to get caught up in work projects or client meetings. Find new ways to occupy your time that don’t involve your relationship with this guy.

11. Learn to make the most of your time together

learn to make the most of your time together

When you are together, you want to have a great time! Make plans in advance. For example, if you know that he is coming over on a Friday night, hit the bowling alley, plan a romantic picnic, or cook him a candlelit dinner. Do something adventuresome, something he won’t forget easily, something that would be fun for both of you!

12. Ask him how much personal space he needs

Find out what his limitations are. I once dated a guy who really did need his own space and felt smothered if I was around all of the time. It wasn’t a reflection of me or what he thought of me or our relationship. Rather, he just liked having alone time to sort out his emotions and thoughts. I didn’t really get it at first, but over time, it made sense.

We decided to adjust our relationship a bit. Instead of seeing each other every day, we decided to see each other twice during the week and during the weekend evenings. That gave him time to watch sports, think about whatever he needed to think about and hang out with his friends alone if that’s what he decided to do. 

While that system did work for that relationship, I wasn’t happy about it because my needs were different. Plus, if our relationship ever developed into marriage, how would he get the alone time he needed? I don’t think he would be able to handle that. We decided the best thing to do was to end the relationship. We were just too different.

13. Make him enjoy your time together more

When you do spend quality time together, make sure it’s a great time! Unless you want to end the relationship, you should want to make your boyfriend happy, right? The best way to do this is to have a great time when you are together. Find ways to smile and laugh at different things. Enjoy each moment you are together!

14. Determine what your love languages are

There are five love languages, and they can help you determine what your differences are. If he needs distance, there may be a simple explanation if you understand his love language. The five love languages are words of affirmations, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Yours may be quality time.

However, what is his? You may have to think about how he acts in the relationship. How does he show you he loves you? What does he do to show you he cares about you? Think about these things as you are trying to determine his love language. If you think he’d cooperate, ask him to join you in this discovery! What do you have to lose?

His way of showing love may be totally different than yours. If he buys you gifts, he clearly enjoys doing that to show his love for you. That just means you are different, but is this something you can accept? If you still want to make it work, you should appreciate the little things he does to make you happy and understand his language better.

15. Tell him you want to make him happy

As mentioned, you want to make him happy, right? If you don’t care about his happiness, you might as well end the relationship. If you want to make him enjoy the time you spend with one another, you should explain that you’d like to know the things that make his world go around. What does he enjoy doing the most? What excites him?

16. Encourage him to plan your next date

Let him make the plans for a change. This will give him a chance to show you what he enjoys doing, so you can better plan future dates. 

17. Get creative with how you spend your time

Vary what you do together. That way, you will know he doesn’t find you boring and predictable. If you always go to dinner and a movie on Friday nights, vary it up. Go to the circus, hit the mall, or go to a party! Find new and exciting ways to entertain your man. He will be glad he is in this relationship with you if you do that. 

18. Determine if he is truly interested in you or not

determine if he is truly interested in you or not

There’s a good chance he really isn’t happy in the relationship. If that’s the case, is he worth fighting for? What is he not happy about? You really need to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him about this.

19. Ask yourself if you are meant to be

While it is crucial for you to find out if he is wanting to be in a relationship with you, it’s equally important that you determine if you want to be with him. Take a compatibility test online or discover new methods to determine if you are really meant to be. You don’t want to waste your time in a relationship that is going nowhere.

20. Decide if you have too many differences in needs

As I mentioned about my ex-boyfriend above, he needed plenty of alone time in our relationship. I was the opposite. I never get sick of being around the person I am dating. If you think your needs are too different, it may be time to end the relationship and find someone who is more like you. 

21. Learn to enjoy your alone time

I’ve given you several things to try when you are alone, but you should do whatever makes you the happiest. What excites you, makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning, and brings you joy? For this one, you’ll have to come up with a million things that are on YOUR list in life. What are your goals? What’s on your bucket list?

What is something you could do to make a difference in the lives of others? Did you know when you do volunteer work, you usually get more out of it than the person you are helping? That has always been my experience, at least. I know that I always feel such rewards in my heart when I reach out to others. Fill your time by doing good!

22. Spend quality time together over quantity

If you are okay with only spending some time together, not all the time together, you should focus on spending quality time together. Cuddle, make love, and create memories when you are with one another. Make it special and memorable.

23. Schedule fun dates in advance

Purchase concert tickets to his favorite band hit the latest nightclub in your area, or look in the newspaper to see what the hottest new restaurant is and make reservations to go there. Whatever you decide to do, make it a blast! He’ll fall head over heels in love with you as he enjoys every second he spends with you. He’ll want to see you more, too!

When you win his heart over, he’ll be yours for a long time, too. Because of this, you should make sure he is the right guy for you! Do you enjoy spending time with him? Do you want to continue in the relationship in the long term? Do you see marriage in the future? What do you think about having a long-term, serious relationship with him?


What are signs that your boyfriend doesn't want to be with you?

Look for red flags that your boyfriend doesn’t want to be with you. You may notice he doesn’t want sex as much, affection is lacking in your relationship, or he says he needs some distance from you. Trust your gut feelings, and then make arrangements to break up.

Why does my boyfriend not feel good enough for me?

If you think your boyfriend isn’t good enough for you, the best advice I can give you is to notice that that’s a red flag that you aren’t meant to be together. He isn’t the right guy for you. End the relationship and put an effort toward finding someone new.

How do you make your boyfriend want to see you more often?

Make your time together special and fun! Start a new sporting event together, find ways to laugh together, and talk about this uneasy feeling you have in the pit of your stomach. Maybe he can explain the reasons he doesn’t want to spend as much time together.

What makes a man fall deeply in love with a woman?

A man will fall deeply in love with a woman if the chemistry is there and he feels connected to her. The woman would have to be “his type,” too - the kind of gal he’d take home to meet his mother. Just to be yourself and hope for the best!

Why do guys say you deserve better?

Men might say this if they believe they cannot fulfill your needs. If you are very high-maintenance, they may feel like you need a guy that can keep up with you. Some men enjoy women who are a lot of work, but many can’t keep up with a high-maintenance woman.

To Sum It All Up

What advice would you give readers on what to do in this situation? Does your boyfriend want to spend less time with you now? How are you handling this problem? We’d love to hear from you. Your advice is valuable to us! Please leave a comment, and share on social media!

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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