My Long Distance Boyfriend is Depressed And Keeps Pushing Me Away. What Can I Do?

Last updated on June 10, 2022 by Michelle Devani

Keeping up with someone with depression is hard, let alone dating them. However, you can’t help but find yourself dating one. Instead of leaving him, you should be his best company going through one of worst phase in his life.

Unfortunately, you are not physically together. Yes, you are in a long distance relationship with him. Imagine how many things you have to endure at the same time. But if it’s love, everything is possible. Even distance and depression could not be able to separate both of you. Or so you thought.

Until suddenly, out of the blue, all of a sudden, he’s pushing you away. He suddenly shuts his world off of you. He doesn’t want to take your call nor replying your message. Like, he’s avoiding you.

You are so confused and not knowing what to do and end up asking “My long distance boyfriend is depressed and pushing me away, what can I do?” Also read Things to Say to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

Well, fortunately we’re here to help. Just read on these following tips for a solution!

  1. Make Sure of Your Feeling First

Honestly, long distance relationship is very much different with a usual relationship. When you’re not physically together, many things is at stake – the most important one is faith. So if you are in a long distance relationship with a depressed guy, you should make sure of your feeling.

Is he really worth fighting for? Is he good enough for you? Do you see him in your future? Once you answered those questions, you’re save to step on the next one. Also read Things You Should Know Before You Date Someone with Depression

  1. Physically Present for Him

Well, first of all, he has depression. You can’t give him comfort just through the phone or video call. He needs you physically. If you ever watch the movie Five Feet Apart, you will understand that everyone needs human touch. Especially from those who are special.

So go where he is, make time if you are busy. Remember that if he is really worth fighting for, you can always do everything. Hug him, comfort him, look him in the eye and make sure he knows how much he means for you. Don’t let him feel alone, literally.

  1. Let Him Take His Time

Depressed people are hard to understand because at times they also don’t know what do they want. So the best thing is to keep up with him. If he keeps pushing you away, maybe he just need some time alone. Let him have it. Also read What To Do When A Man Pulls Away In A Long Distance Relationship?

Leave him for a while. Stop calling or texting him. But you must have someone watching over him, so you know his whereabouts even when you’re lost contact with him. If he shows no signs of reaching you first, then read the previous point. It’s what you should do.

  1. Pump His Energy Everyday

Depression may a form of mental illness, but it takes a toll on his body too. Not only his mental is suffering, but he also physically is. Depression makes him feel worthless, so he tends to isolate himself from the world outside.

Give him day-to-day support to make him feel more valuable. Never forget to be there any time: in the morning, afternoon, night, in between meals and activity etc. to remind him that he is worthy. Assure him that even if the rest of the world goes against him, you stay there with him. No matter what.

  1. Show How Much You Love Him

Here is another answer to “My long distance boyfriend is depressed and pushing me away, what can I do?” question. You must show how much you love him. Someone with depression is afraid that he’ll be hurt someday and abandoned by someone he loves. So pushing you away is a preventive action.

If you really love him and think that he’s worthy for you, show him that you love him and leaving him is the last thing you would do. It’s going to be hard and you will need a long time, but it’s an important thing to do. Also read Tips to Keep Your Man Happy in A Relationship

  1. Figure Out What He Wants

A depressed person is like someone who has a high fever who doesn’t like to be with other person. Maybe he never want to push you away but his depression makes him do so. The most important thing is you should know that someone with depression will never and can’t act normal.

Instead of wondering what you should do, ask him what he wants you to do instead. Ask him slowly because most of depressed person wants you to know without him saying anything.

Maybe he wants you to be there with him, comfort him everyday, or simply giving him support from far away. Whatever it is, fulfill that. When it puts you in a difficult situation where you have to choose, do it wisely.

  1. Don’t Forget Your Happiness

Dealing with a depressed person can make you frustrated. Especially when you can’t figure out what they want and they keep pushing away. That’s why you have to mind your own happiness as well. While figuring out what you should do, make yourself happy as well.

Meet your friends, travel, do activities that you love and more. If you are in a state of happiness, your mind becomes clearer so you can think better about what should you do next. Also read Ways to Love Yourself and Be Happy with The World

  1. Seek Help From Professional

Yes, depression is an illness. If you meet a dead end, it’s time so see a professional. If you can’t take him to a doctor, you can go meet the doctor alone and make some consultation.

Ask about what should you do after explaining his condition. You never know whether they can help you or not, but it’s always worth to try.

So those are all we’ve got to answer your “My long distance boyfriend is depressed and pushing me away, what can I do?” question. If you are currently in a long relationship with depressed people, we sincerely wish you everything best and may you find the solution quickly.

Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very gaurded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you. Many women make the mistake of pushing their man to say how they feel, but this is actually one of the worst things you can do as it can push him away further.

To get him to really show you how he feels and communicate how much he appreciates you, there's one simple thing, although often overlooked, thing you can say to him today that taps into how men are wired and can often lead to them suddenly pouring their heart out. My friend recorded a quick free video (click to watch) that shows exactly how to do that.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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