It's no secret that depression is something hard to carry. Dating someone with depression can be challenging yet intimidating. The sight of your loved one fighting it, suffering in between while you are unable to help them is hurtful. Whenever it comes, they would only talk about negative things, talking bad about themselves like they are not worthy at all. But they are nothing like they said in your eyes. However, depression always wins. It slowly eat them from the inside and all they need is love from their surrounding.
There are many more things you should know before you date someone with depression. Making them as your significant other can be tiring and stressful i you don't know ho to handle them and their illness.
As you are eager in the start of the relationship, there are much to discover as the time passes. But depression can make in harder and more complicated. You have to learn about the illness, what the symptoms are, and what people with depression needs the most. It may seems daunting and scare you out, but being on their side as they overcome depression brings you to an entirely new world. Now here are the things you should know before you date someone with depression so you can have a loving and healthy connection with them.
1. Depression is Real and Pretty Complicated
Depression is nothing like mood fluctuations many people have. Everyone may feel sad from time to time, but it's not a depression. And depression is more than just feeling sad. It's about something that penetrate through you brain, blacking it out so that you live this life pessimistically, always feeling that this is not the life you wanted. Also read Signs of A Bad Relationship with Your Boyfriend
If you are blind with depression, now you should start find out about this illness more. You can easily find resources everywhere: in the internet, books, and communities. From the little knowledge you got, you may reconnect their symptoms and causes with the life experiences they had. Depression is not something appear out of thin air. It's an accumulation from may aspects of someone life that put them in the worst state. Be caring and listening.
2. Be Flexible and Understanding
Someone with depression never know when it will come. A minute ago the feel like they want to go out watching movie with you and a minute later they feel suddenly down and don't want to go anywhere. A depressed person tends to be reserved and there are times when they don't want to socialize with anyone. They also cancel appointment is the last minute. Also read Tips to Keep Your Man Happy in A Relationship
For a normal people, this is shameful and you may throw a fit. But with them, you have to be understanding and instead of pushing them, find activities that are within their comfort zone. Watch movie at home instead of going out, let them have the time on their own if they don't feel like socializing with others.
3. You Have Nothing to Do with It
Depression comes without warning. So when you date someone with it, you'd be wondering whether you have done something wrong that upset them. No, it has nothing to do about you. Depression is very complex that it caused by thousand of triggers. Don't ever feel like it's your fault, since it will only affects you badly and make them feel misunderstood. Also read things to say to your crush to make her smile over text.
4. Depression is Not the Only Thing
When you know that they are having a depression, it doesn't mean they don't have separate thoughts and feelings on everything. Don't blame everything on depression. If they told you that they don't like certain things about, it's not her depression. You should look at them as a complete human being with their brains and heart walking. Attributing them with their depression only make things worse.
5. Depression Cannot be Fixed
Depression in unlike other illness. You can't find a way to fix it no matter what. All you can do is giving them endless support, letting them know that they are not alone. Ask them what they need, what they want you to do. Tell them you'd help. Win their trust to help them with coping with their depression. Also read Signs She Loves You Without Saying It Directly
6. Accept Them with Open Hands
Here are another things you should know before you date someone with depression. They hide their feeling from time to time, don't want to burden you. You have to assure them that you don't see them any difference because of their illness. Be someone they can lean on. Tell them it's okay to feel what they feel, even when they are not sure about it. Depression is very confusing even to the person themselves.
7. It May Affect Their Sexual Life
Depression affects someone's sexual desire is a not a good way. It makes them lost all the passion for their partner. Things are worse for them when they don't want to embarrass themselves in front of you. Have an open talk about it so it won't cause any problem in the future. Also read How to Know When a Girl is Into You Sexually
8. Take Care of Your Own Need
When you are dating someone with depression, it doesn't mean you lost your right to feel sad yourself. Anyone can have a bad day and beside giving them your utmost support, you should have your own support. While it's impossible to show them when you're feeling down, you can always have your family and friends for you. Don't turn off your sadness button just because you don't want to burden your partner. You are still human anyway.
Those are a few of the things you should know before you date someone with depression. It requires a lot of patient but you will grow together with the. A depressed people is very vulnerable that all they need is love. Be their strongest support system so that they don't have to face the depression alone.