She is Interested in Me and Does Not Want Me to Leave But Does Not Give Me Attention Either?

by Michelle Devani

If you meet someone who said she is interested in you and does not want you to live but at the same time, she does not make an effort to tend to you, then it is safe to say that she just gave you mixed signals. And mixed signals are usually just soft no(s). You may also read How to Deal with a Guy Sending Mixed Signals (He’s Unworthy!)

Women, in particular, might try to let men down for they are afraid that men might go crazy on them for not wanting to date which actually happens a lot.

Everyone wishes to be able to just cut the crap and say it like it is. But when women are that direct, there is a risk of an overreaction, and so they take the easy way:

Giving men what they all fondly call “mixed signals” until one or both of you gives up on the initiative. It does suck, but when they show various levels of interest in you, most of the time they simply are not into you at all.

Figure Out the Actual Reasons

There may be a lot of reasons as to why she is not attentive enough, such as:

  • She may be very career focused and goal oriented, so she prioritizes her life plans more than hanging out with you.
  • She does not want to rush into settling down into a committed relationship with you just because she is interested in you and so are you. Maybe, for now, she just wants to have a fling for a while without having to get into a long-term relationship.
  • If she is interested in you but does not give you enough attention, it can often be her unique way of saying that she only likes you as a person, but is not sexually attracted to you yet. This kind of situation can happen if you have simply been acting very nice towards her and she was amused by your chivalry.
  • Women do not play hard-to-get or be aloof to get you interested. She is not ghosting you because she is coy; in fact, she is ghosting you because she does not want to deal with telling you that she is over it.

Make Her Want You More

When we are on a journey of pursuing a relationship, we all hope that we will be given the attention we deserve and missed when we are not around. After all, it is human nature to want to feel needed.

You may want to make sure that she wants you so much and therefore, tries to reach you. But, how exactly do you do that? The answer is by appearing more mysterious. Indeed, you do not need to be afraid to let her into your life. However, you need to make sure that you do not treat her like your personal counselor either. She does not need to know every little detail about you right away.

Save some of your best stories for a later time since your aim is to make her want to stick around and learn more about you. When you successfully intrigue her just enough, she will pester you to catch up on your stories and want to know who you are.

Do Not Appear Desperate

You do not need to always pick up her phone calls on the first ring. Wait for a minute or more to call her back. However, at the same time, try not to act like you do not care either because if she thinks that you do not care about her, then it will be difficult for her to want to be with you.

If you have been seeing and talking to each other every day for a few days, try to take a break for a day or two so that she has time to miss you. Just let her know that you are occupied with other things but still look forward to seeing her anytime soon.

Know When to Stop

You may think that her actions are not matching up with her confessions. It sounds like she is enjoying your attention but does not want to give it back to you.

Maybe it is time for you to stop giving her attention. Sometimes, women want the attention because it is a rush and feels good to have adoration from a man but she is not actually romantically interested.

She may start showing you true affection or not. Either way, get a move on. Be confident and move along from her. Remember that there are other girls out there who will not do this kind of mind game to you.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.