There are certain milestones in relationship, and the ultimate stage of a relationship is when your girlfriend wants to move in with you in your house, apartment, or flat after a year or more of relationship. The problem is when you are not ready to accept her. She wants to move in with you for many reasons.
She may want to have more intimate relationship with you, or she expect an engagement so she wants to “try” to live with you to know you better (or not). There many other specific reasons a girlfriend offer to live with you. She may live overseas or very very far from your place but she work or school near you and many other reasons.
There are signs when your girlfriend wants you to move in but not tell you but you need to notice them to prepare yourself. She often asks you whether you have a long term plan for your relationship with her. Sometimes, she talks about your families, friends, or celebrities couples’ private life and dream that she wants to have one too. She also discuss about an engagement more often with you.
So, if you are really not ready to move in with her, some tips below may help.
The most important information for your girlfriend is that YOU ARE NOT READY, so this is the very first thing to tell to your girlfriend and hope she will understand without asking so many reasons why you rejected her.
But that is very rare, most girlfriends will ask for acceptable reasons (according to her) why you don’t want this intimate decision. Remind her that this is not only her decision, it is more of YOUR decision because it is your place, your home.
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If she wants more reasons after you said no, then you need to explain it wisely and clear enough to make her accept the fact that you are not ready. There are so many reasons, and the one who knows it is yourself.
You may not ready because you don’t want to be tied in a year leasing. Or you don’t want to face more problems living with other person in your bedroom although she is your girlfriend. You can also explain that you don’t want to live with her before married.
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Now take a look on yourself, figure out if you ever have a long term plan with her. You can ask for a day or two, or a week or a month to figure it out. This is indeed a big step of a relationship so you need time to think before deciding to take a tenancy agreement.
You will likely face more problems you never face before with her, from the smallest thing to bigger and fundamental problem. Moving in is living like a married couple who face daily chores problem, who will wash this and that and who will cook what and something basic like that.
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This is a huge request from your girlfriend if you are not ready for everything. Try not to get too emotional and tense while you are explaining the reasons because it will only lead to another problem which can risk your relationship.
So choose perfect timing to explain and be cold headed. You must know that your girlfriend may be upset hearing your decision.
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If after you explain the reasons why you can’t live together with her but she seems upset about it, and want a breakup, accept that. As a man, who is generally less emotional about things, you must be calm and accept the fact that she may not get used to be rejected in hope that she will be fine after few days and come back to you.
However, some girlfriends are too bossy and can’t accept refusal after you explain everything with your heart and soul. You can either ask her to stay in a relationship with you or let her go.