Why Do I Miss My Ex After 9 Months? (The Real Things You Miss)

Last updated on April 8, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Are you constantly thinking about why you miss your ex after nine months? 

Do you feel as if you should have moved on for good, at this point?

Are you frustrated by the fact you always think about him? 

If so, I’m really glad that you stumbled upon this guide. I guarantee this will help you feel better. Please read the following sentences carefully. 

The truth is: when you still miss your ex after this long, it rarely means you still love them. In fact, you’re often not missing them at all. It usually runs deeper than that. 

But, before I explain what I mean by this, I need to let you know about this amazing online tool I recently discovered. 

It’s this intelligent yet 100% discreet online communications tracking device.

This tool can show what your ex has been is getting up to now you’re broken up. 

With a small handful of his details entered into its algorithm, it can reveal who he has been frequently communicating with, what online services he’s using, what contact details he’s registered and a lot more…

A lot of women I know have used this tool to check if a partner is cheating or to get closure from your ex.

There is absolutely no way of him knowing that he’s being tracked, so there’s nothing to lose. Perhaps it will prove to be useful in your situation.

Still, the most important lesson for you to learn is why you’re still longing for this man - and I will explain this in the article below.


11 Complicated Reasons Why You Miss Your Ex After 9 Months

It’s been a while since you broke up with your ex. Nine months, to be exact. You thought you were just fine all along, only to feel that you miss them out of the blue. You might be surprised yourself, as after 9 months you should have moved on for good. Well, you’re not. Day by day you only miss them more.

Then you ask, why do I miss my ex after 9 months? Haven’t I move on from them? It’s not necessarily the case. When you miss your ex, doesn’t mean you still love them nor your conscience said so. There are more than that. You’re not really missing them. These points below would help you to understand why you suddenly miss your ex after months.

1. You Miss The Old You

you miss the old you

After the broke up, you’re not the person you used to be. The passion and spirit were different than the old you who dated your ex. Probably you’re not comfortable with your change and you want to get back to the old you.

You’re not missing your ex but you miss the old you. You can always go back, all by yourself this time and even better than before.

Also read: How to Know if Your Ex Misses You During No Contact

2. You Miss The Spark

Having spark on someone is very, very hard. You can’t just sparking whenever you meet anyone. And once you do, it’s addictive. You miss the spark you used to have, not the one who cause it. You don’t need to get back to them to have it. Find our own through the things that you love to do.

3. You Want To Be Loved

Everyone wants to be. It’s good. You miss the lunch reminder every afternoon, the good night’s call, and the times you spent together. No, no, no. Hold yourself back to call them. You are loved by many, maybe you haven’t been able to see it.

Also read: How to Feel Less Lonely When You're Single

Don’t feel the need to be loved by others. Start by loving yourself.

4. You Want To Bring Back The Spirit And Inspiration

Loved and being loved by someone brought changes to your life. They gave you inspiration to live throughout the day. They lash out your creative soul and dare you to challenge life. Don’t let your ex’s departure bring away all those good things.

You can do well perfectly on your own. You don’t need anybody to prove what you’re capable of.

5. You Miss The Feeling

you miss the feeling

Someone who was in love wake up happily in the morning. When they’re not around, all those hype and excitement gone. Nobody to blame, though. You won’t get those kind of feeling only by doing things that you love or working hardly. Keep up and keep focus on what lies ahead.

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Also read: How to Know If Your Ex is Just Stringing You Along

6. You Miss The Compatibility With Them

So, why do I miss my ex after 9 months, you ask. Breaking up and moving on is even harder when you ex was like your best friend. You’re more like losing your best friend rather than lover.

You miss the time where you did everything together, having fun, going on adventure, etc. But it’s also impossible to be friends with them. Not when you still haven’t move on.

7. Your Life Sucks

You feel okay these past 9 months because your life is also okay. As you just broke up you have many things to do: finding new hobbies, working hard, going out with friends. But life has its ups and downs.

You miss your ex when you hit the rock bottom. You want to escape from stress because your work is overloaded. You need a distraction but you have nothing. The next would be imagining if they’re still by your side, they will take you away from everything.

Also read: 99 Ways to Love Yourself and Be Happy with The World

8. Too Many Dull Moments In Life

When you were still dating, you feel tired of the endless drama in your relationship everyday. You wish you had a normal life. And now here you are. Living a normal, drama-free life. But normal life doesn’t suit you. You feel things are too dull lately.

You can solve this by pushing yourself out of the comfort zone. Do things that are scary to you to enjoy all the excitement.

9. You Miss Things To Work On

This often happen to couples that have dated for years. Long-term couple usually have common goals they want to reach for. Everything they do they make sure it takes them closer to it. Now that you’re no longer together, you might feel your life heading to nowhere.

You shouldn’t be like that, though. Your ex shouldn’t define your future. Work on your life for your own future and keep focus. While doing so, let go of the feeling slowly.

Also read: Ways to Forget Your Ex

10. The Good Sex

the good sex

Last but not the least and not to be underestimated. If you ex was very good on bed, you will miss them all the time, even after you date someone new. It’s not exactly you miss your ex. You miss the sex. If this is the case, don’t ever call your ex for it.

You have many alternatives like find a good hookups or doing something else to distract you. This will be hard but you must go against it. Remember that you don’t love your ex anymore. You only miss the sex.

11. You Feel Like Your Future Is Blurry

Break up can be very hard. It’s even harder when you already planned your future together. You see nothing but them ahead. As they were your future, once they were gone you feel like your future is missing as well.


Now, you should no longer ask why do I miss my ex after 9 months. You don’t miss them, you miss the feeling you had when you’re with them. Understand this and don’t take it that you haven’t move on and you want to get back again with them. It’s normal to miss them sometimes, but doesn’t mean you must reconcile.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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