Ways to Make Him Forget His Ex (25 Sneaky Ways)

Last updated on May 14, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Are you dating a man who’s not over his ex? 

Maybe you want to date him, but he hasn’t moved on from his past relationship yet? 

Are you looking for ways to help him forget about this woman, so he can focus on you? 

Well, that’s what this guide is all about! It features 25 ideas to help remove her from his thoughts. 

But before we start, I need you to read the next few sentences carefully.

A lot of women in this situation might be wondering if this guy is still in contact with their ex. After all, it’s rare that a man will admit if this is true. 

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As discretion is guaranteed, there’s nothing to lose. It’s perhaps the only surefire way to know whether his ex is still in his life. 

With this information to hand, you’ll be able to find out how necessary it is to make him forget about her. 

Read on for ideas on the best way to do this.


25 Ways to Make Him Forgets His Ex

Love is and will always be one of the best things to happen to man. We all, in one way or the other, crave this feeling from others—so much so that when it's taken away, it hurts terribly. We’ve all been there; struggling to let go of a former relationship, or hating the relationship but hoping our past lover still has a soft spot for us. 

What do you do when your crush, a man who is finally single again, is still emotionally involved with his ex? This is a tough place to be with your partner, as it can cause you a lot of hurt; the mere sight of him suffering the loss of his former relationship.

What if I told you there are ways to help him let go of his ex? Well, in this article, I will show you all the ways you can help your boyfriend forget that past lover, and let go of the relationship for good.

1. Give him time

Are you looking for ways to make him let go of his ex? He might be a friend you’ve had a crush on, or he’s someone you just met. One of the best ways to get a guy to let go of his ex is to give him all the time he needs to heal. 

We all need to heal before moving on, and he’ll be no different. Allow your boyfriend to forget by healing on his own, in the best ways he can. This might take a long time, but be patient with it; he is, after all, mourning the loss of a former lover and that relationship meant a lot to him while it lasted. 

Patience always goes a long way to help those who believe it. In no time, you’ll watch as his self-esteem shoots through the roof, with all the weight of a former lover gone with the wind. Give him the chance to take his time. 

2. Listen to him

Breakups are hard, and for many of us including myself, we search for different outlets for our feelings. It’s totally natural, and is in fact, one healthy way to let go of a former relationship. 

One of the other ways to make him let go of his ex is by offering a listening ear, whenever he wishes to let the stress out. This simple act of allowing him to release his emotions he’s a long way to free him of the burdensome feelings he once had.

Men are simple yet complicated creatures, and heartbreak hurts them just like the rest of us. The major difference however is that men tend to keep their pain bottled up longer. In offering to be a safe space for him, you show him how much you care, which can also help bring you out of any friend zone you might’ve been placed in. 

Offer to engage him in some physical activities like a simple coffee date or a walk, and offer you a listening ear. You’ll be marveled by just how much he has to say. 

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3. Support him

You know another great thing that helps melt the remnants of a past love? The presence of a new flame. If you want your boyfriend to forget his former lover, be sure to make yourself present for him all the time. 

This becomes a necessity whenever he’s down, or when things slow down between the two of you. Be quick in picking up hints from him, and act on them accordingly with your presence. 

As his friend or girlfriend, be sure to be his best friend. Be someone who never lets him feel abandoned or alone. Boost his self-esteem with your presence with every chance you get, and watch as memories of the other relationship fade to dust. 

4. Don’t mention her

Talking about his ex is not one of the best ways to make him forget. This doesn’t mean he shouldn’t voice out his feelings, as stated earlier. If you can help it, be sure not to bring up her name in conversations or while you’re out on dates or any physical activities. 

You’re here to make him aware of the new person he has in his life thus, constantly mentioning or bringing up his past can keep that old flame alive. To curb this, look for a healthy way to keep him focused on you and this new beginning, whenever you have to communicate. 

There’s always the risk of being put in the friend zone when you get too much into saving him, without letting him know how you feel. You can relay your concerns in a manner that avoids his ex, as easily as possible. 

5. Be present, but not a bother

Tricky, huh? I've Been there and finding that balance can be tough sometimes. To bring that great guy out of his former relationship, be sure to never go past his limits. Believe it or not, this can cause some serious friction between you two. 

Guys love to be shown attention. They crave attention as much as we do, but too much of it, and they’re repelled. Crazy right? Well, that’s just how they’ve been wired and as such we have to know when we're being a bother. 

If your boyfriend, or your good friend, whom you happen to have a crush on just went through a tough break, give him some space. Try not to call or text him every minute of the day, as a means of checking up on him or knowing his whereabouts. 

The constant reaching out can make him annoyed, and ultimately, he'll want nothing to do with you, just like his ex. So take things slowly, and reach out every other day. Let him miss you, and wonder why you haven’t been in contact for a while. That’s how all the magic begins. 

6. Comparison is a thief, don’t do it

If you really, within the depth of your heart want to help him let go of his ex, a comparison is a terrible way to do it. Don’t compare what the two of you have to his past relationship, and never think of yourself as a rebound girl. At least, never mention this to his face. 

Get over it and stop feeling sorry for yourself that he chose you. For him to be fine after that relationship, you also need to get over his ex and believe that he is indeed finally single again. 

If you really want to compare yourself with others, do it with other women like your friends, or every other woman on the continent, but not with his ex, that’s a big no! 

7. Be who she wasn’t

be who she wasn't

Take time to understand the kind of woman his ex was in their relationship, and be the reverse version of her. In listening to his talk about his past relationship, you’ll find out what she lacked, and in turn, fill in the spots with ease in your relationship. 

It is possible that her shortcomings played a major role in their bad breakup thus towing the same line will not help him get over his ex but rather send him down memory lane stronger. 

Spend time to find out if she never watched football with him, or she never listened to him whenever he had an issue. Be who she wasn’t, in a positive way. Do the things she didn’t do, and in time, memories of their relationship will fade to black. 

8. Don’t force things

The aftermath of every lovely relationship, and Ben the toxic ones can be very tough to deal with. One of the ways to make him let go of his ex that many women can’t implement is having patience

You’ve both had the talk about his last relationship and all his feelings, but you can still sense hesitation when he relates with you. It hurts most of the time and you wish you could pull him out of his heartbreak to see the wonderful person he has now. I get that feeling but the truth is, without patience you can never get him to come to that realization. 

As a good friend and lover, allow him to heal first, and fully get over his ex. After this you can then slowly come into his life and space, ready to give him all the love you have stored for him. Don’t push or force a new relationship when he’s not ready; it only hurts you in the process. Be patient. 

9. You can’t fix him

So don’t even try to do it. It doesn’t matter how broken you think he is, or how torn you perceive his heart is. For a guy to declare himself finally single, after fully letting go of his previous relationship, you have to let him do it on his own.

Never act as a dictator to him, forcing him to get over his ex by telling him what to do. Your relationship will suffer greatly if you try dictating to him what to do, and this prevents anything good from coming out of your relationship. 

The best you can do is to be there for him when he’s in need. Otherwise, allow him to Hal on his own time frame, and in his own manner. You don’t have to point anything out to him, he’s man enough to figure it out on his own. 

10. Take time to know him

Or know him better. You might think you know. Person, but trust me you can never know everything. There are married couples who still find out surprising things about their partners every single day. While this is true, it is possible to spend time getting to know him more than you do now. 

Talk to him about himself and his ex just a little bit. Bringing up his last relationship and ex requires a lot of courage and delicacy, but it’ll be worth it in the end. In having this conversation, you get to know how he arrived at this emotional state, and in turn, you’ll be helping him get over his ex a little bit more. 

Talk about anything and everything, and make him laugh after every mention of his ex. Learn all the things you had no idea of and watch your relationship grow with every time spent.

11. Allow him to get the closure he needs

One of the major reasons why he might not be able to let go of his ex is because he hasn’t had the needed closure. Girl, I know how scary it can be watching your boyfriend make his way to his ex’s home, all in the name of closure. 

This however might be the move he needs to take in order to move on fully and do away with that relationship. If he says he needs closure, allow him to get it whichever way he deems fit. Time heals all hurt, but maybe returning his ex’s belongings or having one. Last conversation with her can speed the healing process up. 

12. Give him an attitude boost

Remember the one time you felt extremely hurt and depressed, and your bestie made it all better, simply by making you feel like you were the best thing to happen to the universe? Imagine how he would feel if you boosted his esteem in that manner. 

Depending on how the relationship ended, your boyfriend could be nursing some pretty nasty ego wounds, which don’t make him think of himself as a wonderful person. Boosting his self-esteem is a sure way to make him forget what once was, and let go of all his old trust issues.

Build up his confidence by letting him know why you’re interested in him. Talk to him, expressing your appreciation for his presence in your life, and watch as he gives you all the attention you so desire. 

13. Get physical

One thing that can help your guy let go of his ex and be more interested in you is when he spends more physical time with you. Engaging in physical activities is a sure way to get your relationship on track, and into a promising future. He’ll have a harder time being stuck on his ex. Nothing will remind him of her.

Physical activities don’t refer only to sex. Both of you should talk, and decide on exciting activities to try. From taking part in his favorite sport to going to the gym together, the list is endless. You never know, it's the little things such as these that can make all the difference you need in your relationship. 

14. Use your seductive side

use your seductive side

Every relationship that comes to an end requires that the hurt parties find some time to heal. But what happens when your partner doesn’t seem to forget his ex? You bring out the seductive girl in you, that’s what.

Instead of going all over your boyfriend, use distance to your advantage and unleash your seductive, sensuous side to bring him closer to you. The last thing. You want to be up in his face, shoving yourself down his throat.

Be as subtle as can be, letting him know as best as you can that you’re hotter and more attractive than any girl he dated before you. 

15. No friend zone business

You won’t believe this, but you can be friendzoned even if you’re in a relationship! It happens so easily, especially when there’s an ex your partner can’t seem to let go of. 

You could be in this relationship as a rebound girl for your partner if he still thinks about his ex. To find out where you stand in all of this, and prevent any future heartbreak, you need to ask him exactly about his feelings. 

In talking to him, you might find out via the little things he says that he sees you as a great friend who’s helping him through tough times, or a girl he’s not ready to commit to for friendship reasons. Be sure to get your way out of that friend zone while you still can, before it's too late. 

16. Have tough convos

Another way you can get your boyfriend to stop thinking about the girl he once loved is to have tough conversations about where you stand in the relationship. This differed from getting out of the friend zone, as in this instance you’re in a relationship. 

If your boyfriend, after some amount of time, still can’t forget his ex, it is about time. You both sat down to talk. Discuss what’s preventing him from being able to forget her, and find out if he really wants you in his life. 

Guys who really want you will make great efforts to choose you as often as they can. If they can’t, and they’re still hung up on a past relationship, they’ll make you aware, free which it's up to. You decide if you can be in a one-sided relationship. 

17. Don’t be his counselor

I know, this might sound contradictory to some of the points mentioned but hear me out. There’s a difference between lending a listening ear and being someone's therapist. I encourage you to do the former.

The truth of the matter is, no matter how bad you might want to, you can’t fix your boyfriend. It is very easy to feel like saving him or healing his hurt but it is a futile act and a very stressful one at that. 

If he wishes to vent to you, be sure to listen as much as you can, but don’t go out of your way to schedule more therapy sessions, in a bid to help him heal. Tell him to contact counselors, relationship therapists, and other experts who can better take care of his needs. 

18. Notice red flags

This is a point more for you than your boyfriend. You guys have decided to make things official even though your boyfriend can’t seem to let go of his past love. He feels like ranting, so you make yourself available. That’s great, but you must use this listening to your advantage.

Listen intently to your partner, as he talks to forget his ex. Try to pinpoint any red flags in his comments. If he’s putting all the blame on his girlfriend for their breakup, and avoiding the fact that height also has some faults, you might want some space to reflect on what you’re getting yourself into. Doing this will save you a lot of heartache and relationship breaks.

19. Take things slowly

We’ve covered being physical, and patience with your partner. While waiting for him to forget his ex, it is imperative you take things as slow as possible with your partner, especially if you see him as someone you can be with for the long haul. 

Things like sex, when brought into a relationship early, tend to mess up feelings and create premature attachments. Accept that your partner needs some time to heal, before being fully ready to love again. 

It’s your responsibility as the clear-headed person between you guys to avoid anything that might fuel your infatuation in the early stages. Once he forgets his ex and can take full responsibility for his feelings you’re at liberty to do as you please. 

20. Avoid triggers

You’ve had conversations with your boyfriend about the past, and all the things he can’t forget. You know this is a hard time; learning to love again after being scared terribly so you try your best to keep him away from things that will trigger his feelings.

Most of these things will come up in conversation, and others you’ll find out randomly, most likely free he’s been triggered. Try to keep him away from perfume smells, places, songs, and anything that’ll bring his feelings back. 

21. Trust him always

trust him always

It is imperative that your boyfriend knows how much you trust him. In your relationship, don’t be insecure, or show jealousy when he speaks to female friends. 

Even if your boyfriend still struggles to forget his ex, he has female friends he spends time with. Let go of your insecurity when you see him in contact with his ex and trust that the past is where it should be, and he’s now your boyfriend. 

22. Don’t be dramatic

In other words, don’t make things complicated between both of you. Being overly dramatic does nothing to help your boyfriend or the relationship. You guys need to be a united front at all times thus weeping useless tears won't help.

The inability of your boyfriend to get over his past requires you to be not only supportive but mature. Show him you’re there for him. You can get emotional if he’s not responsive, but not too much to push him away. There are many ways he can let go of his ex, but drama isn’t one of them. 

23. Wake him up

In your relationship, you might have to bring the mind of your boyfriend back into the relationship time and time again. It is true we're helping him get over what happened in the past, but he'll need to wake up fully, eventually. 

Make him aware of your presence when he becomes too much and surpasses your limits. Talk to I’m about how his actions or inactions are affecting your relationship and the need for him to forget his past. 

24. Avoid regular tactics

Tactics such as teasing him with his ex, or sparking jealousy in your boyfriend are terrible ways to get your boyfriend to forget his ex. Your relationship is meant to be his safe space thus, be mature and wise to show him how you differ from his past partner and relationship. 

25. Accept the inevitable 

If all else fails, it Is in your best interest to accept that maybe, there’s no way your boyfriend can get over his ex. This means your relationship isn’t going to be fully mutual, and you will have to be in a one-sided relationship

To conclude and fully move on, have a talk with your boyfriend to understand why he can’t move on from the past. Find the closure that you desire, and move on to other relationships where you’ll be loved unconditionally. 


How do you get a guy who is not over his ex?

To get a guy who still has feelings for his past lover, it is imperative that you know how his past relationship went. That way, you know what to do and not do. Also, be sure to make him aware of your interest, without putting much pressure on him for actual commitment. Listen whenever he wishes to rant and allow him to heal. 

How long does it take for a guy to forget his ex?

The duration for forgetting one's ex varies greatly, from human to human. Whilst others take weeks to get over their exes, others may take months or even years. The main determinant of this is the manner in which a breakup occurred, and how in love a guy was with his past girl. 

Can guys forget their ex?

Yes, it is highly possible to forget an ex. Forgetting an ex you were deeply in love with can take a lot of time, and it also requires a lot of intentionality, without which all efforts will be futile. Once you’re ready to heal and move on from your breakup, you’re ready to do the work involved in forgetting your ex. 

How do you make him stop talking to his ex?

Maybe your boyfriend has no feelings for his ex anymore, but they're still in contact and this disturbs you greatly. The best way to go about this is to let him know how you feel. Don’t be dramatic or accusing. Be frank and open while communicating, making sure not to offend him in any way. The maturity with which you speak will do all the magic for you. 

How do you tell if he's not over his ex?

Some simple ways to know if he’s not fully over his ex include him constantly bringing her up in every chat, as well as constant triggers from songs, foods, places, and comments where he might compare you to her. Also, he is constantly in contact with her. Another way to tell is if he doesn’t give himself fully to your relationship, with regard to commitment.

In Conclusion

There’s always a great guy waiting to show another girl just how great he is, once he’s over his former relationship. Every step highlighted takes you one step away from a bad breakup, and two steps closer to rediscovering love and its beauty once more. 

All the steps mentioned are not only easy but extremely doable, once you have the patience. Remember, beautiful things tend to require a lot of time and effort. 

I hope you enjoyed this article on ways to make him forget his ex. Do you have friends in this situation? Be that good friend and let them in on the information in this post, and leave us comments below about your thoughts. We’ll love to hear from you!

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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