Can a Straight Guy Fall in Love with a Gay Man? Here's the Answer

Last updated on June 9, 2024 by Michelle Devani

People say that nobody is 100% straight, yet nobody also 100% gay or 100% lesbian. There’s always this slightest possibility for everyone to deviate from their dominant self.

Probably they just don’t have the time or they haven’t meet the right person. Which bring you down to the question, can a straight guy fall in love with a gay man? Also read How to Tell If Your Gay Friend Has A Crush On You

Based on Einstein word that “the only certainty is uncertainty”, yes, a straight can fall in love with a gay man. In fact, a straight man can fall in love with any other man. Whether you are single, dating, or married, the possibility is always open. It sounds simple yet complicated.

How Can It Happen?

Falling in love is something you can’t control. It happen just like that before you know it. But how could it happen?

So let picture yourself in this following situation. You are working in a company and you teamed up with this guy for new project. You spend the whole time with him, even working overtime together. Also read How to Talk to Your Crush If You are a Gay and He's Straight

You get closer to each other, he become more than just a workmate. You hang out, exchange life stories with each other, until he tells you that he’s a gay. Instead of avoiding him, your bond is even close and you even entrust him with personal details.

Everything seems normal – since you’re dating or married – until you realize that you’re always excited in the morning when heading to the office, and feeling devastated that now the project is about to finish.

As if it’s not enough, he is now creeping into your thoughts, masturbating with him pictured in your head. Even worse, you see his face when you have sex with your lover. The more you push him out of your head, the stronger he comes back. Also read Ways to Tell Your Straight Friend is Gay

Yes, it happened before you realize.

Why It Happen?

Although you seem to know why yourself, you can’t help being asking the question. Aren’t you also curious why did you fall in love with a gay man as you are a straight man yourself?

To discover the real truth, you might have to see a therapist. Just like how gays become gay and lesbians become lesbians, it’s commonly caused by psychological conditions.

Is it a traumatic abuse you had when you were child? Or your current relationship has become so platonic and you lose the flame? Are you craving for a new sex experience? Everything is possible. Also read How Should You Talk to a Friend Who’s Gay

It can be the beginning of your coming out process, but it also means nothing. Sigmund Freud, the psychological guru often remarked “Sometimes cigar is just a cigar!” which means there was nothing deeper behind the fact that you fall in love with the gay man. Maybe you just wanted to be a little bit adventurous without putting any deeper meaning to it?

Is It Abnomal?

The fact that you start wondering about can a straight guy fall in love with a gay man is because you start to think whether it’s normal to feel so. No need to freak out because you are not alone. As said above, everyone is not 100% straight.

Sexuality is in a grey area, so it shouldn’t be defined as black and white. When you fall in love with a gay, it doesn’t make you a gay in an instance, nor that it’s wrong for you to. So in case you’re wondering whether you’re abnormal? The answer is no, you’re not. Also read How to Tell Someone You're Gay Without Saying It

Will It Affect Your Current Relationship?

Let’s left out single guy here because they are free to decide what to do about them falling in love with a gay man. But what if you are dating or married? Well, you have a lot to think.

Once again, falling in love with a gay man doesn’t make you gay. Gay is about identity and sexual orientation. While if you falling in love, the feeling can disappear sometime. The ultimate decision is up to you.

Who will you choose? If you don’t want to ruin your current relationship, consider the feeling as a short flings just like when you see a pretty co-worker. You may start by avoiding him. But if you decide to explore your feeling any further, you know what at stake.

After reading the article, probably you won’t ask about can a straight guy fall in love with a gay man anymore. Because you already know that not only they can, but also it’s not abnormal. If you had similar experience, feel free to share with others through the comment section below.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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