Do You Really in Love or You Just Infatuated with Them? Find It Here!

Last updated on June 1, 2024 by Michelle Devani

It’s common for people to first enter relationships not knowing the difference between love versus infatuation. This is an important distinction to make because these factors are often confused for the other, resulting in you not having a full grasp of what is going on in your relationship. Do you really in love or you just infatuated with them? Find out here!

Here are some differences between love versus infatuation:

  • Infatuation is the belief that the person is perfect

They are a god/goddess to you instead of a flawed human being. Love is the acceptance and acknowledgement of their flaws yet you care for them anyway.

  • When you had your first serious fight with them

If you think they are so annoying to you that it would make you walk away then it is infatuation. If you annoyed but being with them was worth the price, then it is love.

  • Take every objective attribute that you like about them

If you meet another person with the same criteria, will that be enough for you? If the answer is yes, then it is infatuation. If not, you are in love. Also read: Ways to Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him for the First Time

  • What is your role in an argument?

If you really like to win the discussion, then it is infatuation. If you thought that winning does not exist anymore, and the need to be superior and dominant doesn't seem to be a need anymore, that is love.

  • Were you able to tell your darkest secrets with them?

If no, then it is infatuation. If you can count on them for anything including your secret, then you are in love.

  • Too busy for attention

If you are so busy and does not need attention from them, it is infatuation. If you require a lot of their attention and get upset when you do not get it than it is love.

  • Vulnerable side

Infatuation is when you feel uncomfortable to let them see your vulnerable side. Love, however, is when you feel safe when you let them see you cry and you do not regret those actions.

  • Are you afraid of commitment?

If yes then it is infatuation. Love is when you are willing to compromise and sacrifice. Willingness alone is not enough, you must prove it to yourself by actions. Not once, not twice but multiple times in multiple circumstances.

  • Obsessive

Do you really in love or you just infatuated with them? When you feel infatuated, it feels obsessive. If they get other calls or other people talk to them, you feel jealous or irritated or angry that their time is being divided.

But as soon as that person says or does something outside of your imagination, it turns into an argument or debate, a bad habit or something you do not care for becomes a deal breaker, and the feeling fades away. Love feels pleasant, makes you slow down and brings you calmness. Love makes you more patient and forgiving.

  • Temporary or last forever?

Infatuation is temporary whereas love lasts forever. You will always have some kind of love for someone you have felt love for in the past, but if you are infatuated, it goes away and you will not feel connected to that person anymore.

  • Their involvement in your decision

Do you need their opinion about your decision in life? If no, then it is infatuation. Love is when their opinion and support is very valuable to you, and you consider it very seriously. Also read: Ways to Make a Gemini Man Fall in Love That Always Works. 

  • Future Plan

Infatuation is when you have some future plan, but not try your best to include them in your future. Love makes you try a little bit harder, be the best you can, and trying seriously to make them be in your life.

  • 40 years from now

Imagine yourself and them 40 years from now. You both are old, the body is weak and unattractive. Can you look at each other eyes and can say that you both have each other and your love for each other has not changed? If no, then it is infatuation. If yes, that is true love!

  • Can you think of being with them for life and never devoting yourself to anyone else?

Can you devote yourself to one person? If it can start to drag your mind a little, make you feel distant from them and reality can take some painful forms, then it is infatuation. However, love is different. You want to stay by their side, you want to provide for them in a many ways. Also read: Adorable Ways on How to Get Your Crush to Love You Right Away

  • A feeling of having fun

Do you really in love or you just infatuated with them? Infatuation is when they give you that feeling that you are having fun, but that feeling will fade away when they want you to give your all for them or want to be with you all the time. Love makes you want to be with them all the time, give your all to them and aim to receive it in the long run.

  • Taking the time

Infatuation is instant. Such as love at first sight that end up getting extremely disappointed and hurt when things do not pan out the way the had expected. Love is grow over time, focus on everything and preserves energy. Also read: Capricorn Woman Personality and Traits in Love. 

  • You know everything

Infatuation is thinking you know everything about them but in fact, you just know the ideal side of them. Infatuation focuses on little things and drains energy. Love is trying to know everything about them with patient and accepting imperfections.

  • Infatuation brings pain and unhappiness

You will get tired of being in the company with them. When you are truly in love everyday is filled with excitement and they always act in your best interest, as you will in theirs. Love is beloved, takes away the pain and unhappiness.

  • A not okay relationship

Infatuation is when you always thinking that your relationship is okay, when in fact they are starting to tell you what is wrong. Love is when you always paying attention to them to notice what is wrong or when they are in trouble instinctively. You have that feeling that they need your help or what are their feelings. Also read: Cute Ways To Tell Your Girlfriend You Love Her

  • Their dreams

Infatuation is when you do not care about what are their dreams for the future. Love is when you are worried about their future and constantly supports them, motivates them to do something bigger.

It is okay for your relationship to have an infatuation, especially in the beginning. Because love indeed takes time to grow. Just be honest with yourself about what you are feeling, and understand that being in love is a process that takes time to achieve.

Read here to know signs of conditional love: Signs of Conditional Love

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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