Why Do I Push People Away Whenever I Feel Myself Getting Close to Them? Is There Something Wrong with Me? 

Last updated on May 10, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Having a relation with people, be it with the opposite sex or just simply with friends is quite complicated at some level. People are unpredictable, people are unique. They have different way of thinking, different character, motivation, desire, wants, and also culture. Different environment, family, culture, as well as inner circle could affect how someone grow up very significantly, though.

Problems are likely to happen within any relationship due to these differences. Sometimes the problem comes from our own feeling. Have you ever wonder why do I push people away whenever I feel myself getting close to them? Is there something wrong with me? We, mostly teenagers, tend to have problems with getting close to people. We might have a lot of friends, but we actually are not that close. Perhaps that's because we see signs that your friend is fake.

Here are few possible things that could make you act that way :

  1. You have trust issue

When you are being taught from you were a child that you should trust no one, then this is very likely to be the reason why you just can't getting close to others. Family isn't the only one, though.

Environment could also teach you this through experience, others' stories, or even movies. There are a lot of example surrounding you that people are all the same, and that you should just trust and depend on yourself. This is why then when someone get closer to you, be it someone who likes you or someone who want to be friends, you tend to push them away.

  1. You have bad experience

Having experienced for yourself how people could hurt you in any way, could also make you take step back. You might realize this or not, that you just don't want to get that kind of pain anymore. You don't want to give others chance to hurt you. It's kinda like trauma.

Of course you'd try to avoid getting the same pain, while actually others might not have that kind of intention. Your bad experience could be related to assault, so others should first learn how to comfort a girl who was sexually assaulted. If it's because of abusive relationship, then you should at lease realize how long does It take to get over an emotionally abusive relationship.

  1. You don't want to be others' suffering

When you're close to people, things could happen. You just can't help but then blame yourself for whatever that’s not even your doing. You felt like you could be a problems for others.

Others might find what you're doing unpleasant. Then you’d rather not getting any close relationship with anyone, to keep both sides safe, you think. Why do I push people away whenever I feel myself getting close to them? Is there something wrong with me? This could be one of the possible reasons. There are prayer for someone struggling with mental illness if you know there are anyone like that around you.

Having troubles getting close to people will get you nowhere. You'll feel lonely as times goes by, since you don't have anyone to rely on. You might skipped out on a lot of opportunities. But we all know that it isn't easy for you.

Then how could you stop pushing people away? Here are few things you should try :

  1. Write down

If you know you do have bad experience in the past or trauma, you should finish it first. Sit down, prepare a piece of paper and pencil, then take deep breath.

What’s hurting you in the past? Write down all your feeling about that incidence and just let it all out. This could help you to sort out and express your deepest emotion. I am feeling so depressed because i miss my ex-boyfriend, what can i do? You can also sort it out this way.

  1. Learn to trust step by step

Trust people on small things. This could assure yourself step by step that people are not all the same. Of course you should still be wise enough to know who are worth your trust and who are not. But, try to open your heart.

  1. Not everyone all the same

Perhaps people hurts you in the past, but there's no guarantee that it means others will hurt you too. There are people who are simply care for you and want to get closer to you.

Why do I push people away whenever I feel myself getting close to them? Is there something wrong with me? It could be wrong if you don't know how to deal with it.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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