How Long Does It Take to Get Over an Emotionally Abusive Relationship - What You Should Do

Last updated on July 8, 2024 by Michelle Devani

If you have freed yourself from an emotionally abusive relationship, you’re doing really well. But things don’t stop there. Now that you disengage yourself from an emotionally abusive partner, doesn’t mean you find a perfect life in instance. Abusive relationship leaves wound, and sometimes it takes a while to recover.

The reason why you find this article is probably because things don’t go as you expected or imagined when you put the relationship to an end. No, nothing is wrong. You’re not at a phase where you should get over from it.

You must be wondering how long do you need to completely get over it, right? We’re trying to explain it, along with a few useful tips to make it happen fast.

How Long Does It Take to Get Over an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

The short answer would be weeks, months, or year. It takes time. The long answer would be recovery is a journey. The wound you get from emotionally abusive relationship is invisible even for you, makes it impossible to be cured overnight.

While leaving an abusive relationship was tough, getting over it is even tougher. You’ve been manipulated for some time, you made believe that you are no on, so find the strength within you is very hard. Also read What to Do When Your Husband is Verbally and Emotionally Abusive

You’re not used with your independence, potentially creates another problem. You’re going to experience low self-esteem, feeling lost in your own life, even think of getting back together.

You Have a Lot to Recover from

Nobody can answer how long will it takes to get over the emotionally abusive relationship. Not even you. The answer is relative. It’s not the same for everyone, depend on how deep the wound it left for you.

Surely, there are a lot to recover from. You need to find your old self, you have to accept the reality that life is not going the way you want it, you dreams might fly away from you, and you feel extremely miserable at the moment. Also read How to Fix an Emotionally Draining Relationship

The deeper it hurt you, the longer time you may need.

How to Get Over It

You are not the only person who experienced an emotionally abusive relationship. There are people who had been in it and the successfully reborn as someone new. According to those people, here are what you can do to get over the abusive relationship.

The most important thing is not asking how long does it take to get over an emotionally abusive relationship, but how to.

  • Acknowledge Yourself

Before everything, you have to acknowledge the freedom from an abusive relationship as an achievement. Congratulate yourself for finding strength and courage within you. Thank yourself for being so brave that now you get your freedom. Also read Signs Your Best Friend is Emotionally Draining You Down

Now you should believe that you can do more than you think you can. You are not weak, you can do well on your own, and you’re not someone to be underestimated.

  • Take Time

They used to take control of everything in your life, especially time. They didn’t allow you to socialize, meet your friends, and doing other things. You may find this newly found freedom unfamiliar, but your life is all yours now.

Take as much time as you need to adjust. You’re not in a hurry. You can be whatever you want, going to wherever you will go, doing things you love, and nobody’s going to say anything. Start to love yourself. Even if it’s hard, enjoy the process because there’s always rainbow after the rain.

  • Forgive Yourself

Instead of asking how long does it take to get over an emotionally abusive relationship, start it from yourself. You might end up hating yourself for keeping up with an abusive person, but what you should know is none if was your fault. Also read Signs You're Ready to Leave Your Abusive Relationship

Nobody deserve to be in an abusive relationship. It doesn’t matter why did they do that and why you chose to stay. It’s now all in the past. Let go and forgive. Forgive them, forgive your life, forgive yourself. Stop looking back at the past. The future is now all yours. You can do anything about it. Literally anything. Just make sure you don’t waste it.

  • Setting Boundaries

At the most vulnerable like this one, you need a lot of support but not attention from the world. It means, you have to be selective of people you want to be surrounded with. No need to share your feeling to social media, since bad people will judge you negatively out of nowhere.

Be with someone you’re comfortable with, keep distance with the one you don’t. One person could give you better support that hundreds of followers on Instagram. It’s not about how many knows but who knows.

  • Seek Help from the Professional

You never know what an emotionally abusive relationship can make you. You may end up having a severe trust issue that you don’t believe in anyone anymore. That’s okay. But you shouldn’t deny that you need help.

If you don’t want your family or friends know, go to a therapist. They’re a good secret keeper too. You can either go to classes, workshops, seminars, or one-on-one counselling. Also read Ways to Leave An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Joining support group and communities also good. But if you can’t find either of them, search for an online help. The internet is always there to help.

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  • Undo the Damage

During the period when you’re in a relationship with an abusive person, they might spread lies and untrue stories about you. Rather than feeling down and belittling yourself, take it as a gold opportunity to undo all the damage they caused.

Fix any lies and manipulation, even though it can be hard. You have to go through all of this. Rather than wondering how long does it take to get over an emotionally abusive relationship, focus on how to safely get through it. The process will be extremely difficult, at a point you can’t handle it.

Regardless of your condition, know that you are loved. Many people still care about you. You always deserve better.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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