How to Fix an Emotionally Draining Relationship (9 Ways to Solve the Problem)

Last updated on May 14, 2024 by Michelle Devani

If you wonder how to fix an emotionally draining relationship, you are in luck because we are going to give you a new perspective on the subject. Imagine your relationship was perfect. 

What red flags would go away? What signs of deterioration could disappear? Would your relationship be better or worse? How would your lives be different if you weren’t dealing with this?

My hope is that this article gives you the desire to resolve your issues, the stress that is being caused by this emotionally draining relationship. Instead, I want you to have engaging, productive interactions with your partner. I want to increase your awareness of your suffering, too, so that you will realize what a struggle you are facing by staying in this union.


How to Fix an Emotionally Draining Relationship

1. Take a break from the relationship

As you may have heard me recommend in other articles, sometimes, you just need a break from the relationship. Consider taking a three-month break from each other. During that time, do not communicate in any way. Just exchange your stuff, as if the two of you were going through a breakup, and go your separate ways.

I had a serious boyfriend of 10 months, and I was testing him by joking around and saying that we needed to take a break. I mostly said this because I wanted him to commit more and argue with me about what I had just said. Boy, did that ever backfire against me! Instead of him disagreeing with me, he said, “Let’s do it!”

I never actually thought it was a good idea, but it was genius! We decided to take a serious break with no talking for three months, and when the three months were over, I realized that we didn’t really need to be together for any reason. On the other hand, he came running back to me, wanting to get back together. We never did! My choice!!

2. Give each other some space

give each other some space

When you are fighting or arguing, or things get heated, consider taking some space from one another. Go to your car and listen to music, hit the gym, or just go take a hot bath. Shut the door and take some space away from each other to think about what you want to say next. This will give you both time to cool your jets and think things over calmly.

3. Consider focusing on your own happiness

Think about what is best for you. Turn to your support system - friends and family who understand what is going on with you and your partner. Ask them for advice. Consider seeing a therapist if you don’t have a support system. Explain the problems you see in your relationship and ask for help. People will gladly support you!

4. Be patient and understanding

One of the best things you can do is to be patient and understanding. If you can show empathy, the art of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, you will be able to recognize where you might be having problems and see how to fix them best. You may also just not let these fights or rollercoasters of emotions affect you so much!

5. Determine the reason your relationship is like this

Is it your partner that is causing all of the problems in your relationship? Are you the problem? Do you both fuel off each other? In other words, it is very possible that the two of you are each too emotional and just make the situation worse when you argue or discuss the events of the day. It doesn’t have to be a big argument to be unhealthy.

6. Talk it over with your partner

It is a very smart idea to discuss this problem with your partner. Find out if they agree that your relationship is draining. Are they running into the same dilemma as you are? You will only know if you ask them questions and discuss your relationship issues.

7. Resolve conflict in new ways

If you typically have screaming matches or just talk things to death, maybe try a different approach. Consider writing your partner a letter about what is going on. Send them an email or text message with your thoughts on the subject. If you approach things in a new way, there is a good chance the results will be better.

8. Communicate better

communicate better

Listening is something that most people do not know how to do. If you have trouble understanding your partner, it may be because you do not know how to listen. To listen effectively, pay close attention, eliminating distractions. Also, show with your body language that you are hearing and understanding their words. Learn to listen!

You should also try to watch what you say and what tone you say things in. If you tend to have a negative tone, your partner is likely to respond in a negative way. Think before you speak!

9. Decide if the relationship is worth it

Sometimes, the time has come to just end things. It’s never the preferred option, but if your partner is causing you to feel emotionally drained all of the time, you cannot continue to live like this without serious damage to your health! Weigh the pros and cons of staying together to decide if your partner is right for you or not.


What do you do when someone is emotionally draining you?

Have patience and do not allow your emotions to get out of control. If you do continue in this toxic relationship, you may face fatigue, depression, low energy, or other mood problems. Take care of your body! Science shows even suicide rates increase with relationship problems!

What does it mean to be emotionally drained in a relationship?

If you are feeling emotionally drained, you will feel emotional exhaustion. You may want to spend time with other relationships in your life because the one you are in is causing you to feel emotionally drained. Spending time with others can help!

How do you tell your partner they are draining?

Make your partner aware by telling them you are feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. Talk to them about your feeling of stress. You may want to pursue some other partner, someone who is more stable and not so emotional.

How do you overcome emotional relationships?

Look for support outside of your relationship. You may feel awkward about talking about your emotional problems with other people, but realize that this feeling is not going to magically go away. You need the support of other stable relationships in your life.

How do you know if it's time to end a relationship?

Can you sustain the way things are in the long run? Are there signs that you should break up with your partner? Do you have the ability to let this go? How is this relationship affecting your emotional health and your physical body? Answer these questions, and you’ll know!

To Sum It All Up

Are you in a toxic relationship? What are you going to do about your problem? Are the signs pointing in the direction that you should end things? How did you come to this conclusion? We’d love to hear your take on the topic! Please leave a comment, and share on social media!

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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