6 Obvious Signs Your Best Friend is Emotionally Draining You Down

by Michelle Devani

In a movie about friendship, there is this girl and her best friend. She is a perfect girl next door type of person, while her best friend is a loud person who swears a lot. Even though their personalities are far too different from each other, they still support each other, wipe each other's tears, and always get each other's back. That is one of many Reasons why Best Friends are Better than Boyfriend.

In reality, however, friendship is not always about something peachy, bubbly, and beautiful like in movies. Sometimes, for some reasons your best friend suddenly might turn into a person that is not her. A person that wears you out who transforms into an energy vampire. A person that sucks up your emotional (and sometimes physical) well-being.

Signs Your Best Friend is Emotionally Draining You

Unfortunately, some people do not realize this, especially those with sensitive and caring personality. They are not aware that their bestie becomes an emotional bloodsucker since they think it is just them being super sensitive or their minds playing with them. If you are one of those people who are not sure whether or not your best friend is emotionally draining you out, these signs below might help you to figure out this turn of event.

1. She Always Talks but Never Listens

Sharing problems is something normal to do between besties. Healthy friendship will include exchanging problems with your best friend as she is one of few who you trust to share your problems with. Of course it is a mutual exchange, so one must listen when another one talk, and vice versa. So if your best friend always shifts the topic back to her problems by cutting you off when you are telling her your issue and it irritates you, it means that she is an emotional vampire.

2. She Always has It Worse

You tell your bestie your problem, but when you don't even finish yet, she cuts you off like always and starts telling you that her problems are even bigger, more significant, and worse than yours. For example, if you tell her you had a bad date, she will tell you that she also had a bad date BUT twice as bad. All you want to get is a little sympathy from her, but you get your emotion invalidated instead.

3. She is Full of Drama

Not only she has worse problems, but also she has more problems than you do. The worst is, she always vents you nonstop about it. Your daily conversation with her is filled with exhausting topics about her bad luck and dramas. There is no a chance for jolly topics to jump in the conversation. She basically treats you like her personal burn book, which might be one of Signs that Your Best Friend Hates You secretly or Signs that Your Friend is Fake.

4. Her Presence Makes You Uncomfortable

It sounds weird if you feel uncomfortable around your best friend. The comfortableness that you feel whenever your are around your best friend can be a sign that there is something wrong with your friendship that even your intuition can tell it. It is the same with opposite situation when she's not around. You feel relieve and better without her presence, because her emotional-draining energy is also not there. 

5. She Makes You Feel Guilty

You might get irritated and tired when your best friend is not sympathetic towards you or when she always make herself as the topic of your conversation. However, you sometimes feel guilty when you ignore her. The notion of telling her how annoyed you are by her attitude makes you even more guilty.

This is bad, because you actually don't do something wrong. It is better to shoo away that guilty feeling for the shake of your mental sanity.

6. She Often Blames Others For Her Failure

If your best friend often blames other people especially you for her failings, the probability of her being an emotional drainer is big. It especially happens when you encourage her to do something good for her, but it turns out that she fails to achieve it. She then will use the "I told you I couldn't do it" card against you to fit her narrative that you are the one that put her into the mess.

Emotionally draining people are usually those who are full of themselves or those who are not happy with their lives. When you feel like your best friend turns into one, the best thing to deal with is to tell her your honest feeling. Communication is important to maintain friendship. Indeed, that's all the signs your best friend is emotionally draining you.

Who knows that the reason why she's unbecoming of her is because she is having hard time dealing with something that she herself cannot tell you. If that's the case, then there are Ways to Make Best Friend Feel Better that you can try.

If your bestie cannot accept your honest feeling toward her, it is a Sign a Friendship is Coming to an End. When this happens, setting boundaries and creating a personal space between you two are best to deal with her. In the end, your happiness matters. Distancing yourself from your bestie who drains you emotionally is better to do than maintaining the toxic friendship by sacrificing your own happiness.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.