33 Signs That Your Best Friend Hates You Secretly

Last updated on June 11, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Are you worried that your best friend has grown to secretly hate you? 

Perhaps you’re too scared to talk to them about it? Or maybe you’ve confronted them and they’ve denied it?

It’s actually more common than you think for best friends to grow apart, but it does take them a while to cut the cord in this scenario. 

That’s what leads to this secret hatred that you’re fearing.

Thankfully, I’ve provided a list of signs that your best friend has already decided they hate you, even if they’re sticking around for the time being. 

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Now, let’s take a look at the biggest giveaway signs of a best friend that hates you.


33 Signs Your Best Friend Hates You

Regardless of what everyone tells you, all friendships go through good and bad times. You could be best friends with someone one day, and next thing you know, you’re no longer on good terms. 

The reason is not far-fetched – people’s opinions about others tend to change over time due to new life experiences, new friends, age, and various other factors. In the end, what matters is how you deal with the change that comes. 

There are a thousand and one reasons why your best friend could hate you. Anything could have ignited this feeling that now plagues your friendship. More importantly, it shouldn’t come in between you and your best friend. Nevertheless, the phenomena questions the very foundation of your friendship.

Taking a critical look at your relationship with your best friend would point you to the root cause of the problem. This will enable you to tackle the issue between you two head-on to salvage the friendship. If you’re looking to confirm your suspicions and ask questions before drawing any conclusions, here are some subtle signs that your best friend hates you.

1. He/she ignores you when you talk to them

Communication plays an integral role in building and sustaining a relationship. It’s almost impossible for best friends to go a day without talking to one another. One way to spot a friend who hates you is to gauge their interest level when talking to you. They often go as far as pretending not to hear you when you are talking to them. 

2. Both of you don’t agree on anything

Best friends typically agree on everything, including values, preferences, and dislikes. Once in a while, one questions the other, but it eventually ends well. However, if you begin to notice a disparity on issues you previously held similar beliefs, then there is a problem. This is one of the obvious signs that your best friend hates you. He/she blatantly disagrees with everything you say regardless of whether it is true or false. It may even appear as though your close friend doesn’t respect or believe your word anymore.

3. They rarely associate with you in public

Close friends, out and about with each other in public is always a pleasant sight to behold. One way to know friends who are close to each other is by watching how they relate in public. Whenever there is a fallout between close pals, you’d hardly see them together in public. Sometimes, they behave like they don’t know whenever they see you.

4. Your best friend regularly says unpleasant things behind your back

It’s inconceivable to think that your best friend would say horrible things about you behind your back. One of the signs that your close friend isn’t a big fan is when he/she begins to spread false tales behind your back. Hearing all that’s been said behind your back by someone you value and love can be heartbreaking and demoralizing.

5. You keep on having quarrels

You keep on having quarrels

It’s common for close friends to disagree and quarrel over issues. However, it would be best to keep an eye out for when it becomes incessant in the relationship. You may have noticed that your best friend finds fault with everything you do, even though you put your best foot forward. This is one of the subtle signs that your best friend doesn’t like you or develops some hatred towards you. 

6. They don’t apologize after a misunderstanding

Misunderstandings are bound to happen in friendships but what matters is how they are resolved. However, if you observe that your friend finds it challenging to apologize after a misunderstanding, then it’s likely that they don’t like you. 

Even though you are at fault, someone who loves you would seek ways to resolve any issues that come up between you two. Conversely, somebody who hates you sees every misunderstanding as a way to cut you off entirely.

7. Your best friend hardly replies to your messages

Close friends are fond of greeting each other warmly and staying in touch with each other. A text message is an efficient way of building communication and bonds between friends. Texting provides a platform to share gossip, gist, and keep in touch with one another. However, somebody who hates would hardly reply to your text messages. They often send late replies that kill your vibe and leave you uninterested in continuing the conversation.

8. Your conversations don’t last long

When your close friend hates you, it will be evident in your conversations and how you relate with one another. You may have noticed how physically distant they become whenever you are talking to them. You barely manage to keep the conversation going each time you speak to each other. Not being able to talk to a pal to their face means they are talking behind your back.

When you read in between the lines, you would discover that your close pal hates you and doesn’t enjoy talking with you.

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9. You no longer spend time together

Close pals spend quality time with each other talking and basking in the euphoria of each moment. What’s more, they are always at each other’s apartments or out and about together. It seems as though they can’t get enough of each other’s company. However, when the same person you call your best friend finds it hard to spend time with you, then he/she probably doesn’t like you very much.

10. They act differently around you

All of a sudden, your best friend starts acting weird around you, especially in public. He/she starts behaving strangely whenever you are together. While some may argue that this often happens, it could also indicate that he/she hates you. Often, this sort of thing happens when one party gets a boyfriend or partner. It could just be a simple case of your close pal hating the fact that you no longer make time for them.

11. Your best friend starts hanging out with a different set of friends

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make new friends and grow your social circle. However, when your closest pal prefers the company of their other friends to yours, consider it a red flag. The feeling of resentment that your friend has for you may have forced him/her to seek solace with other people. One of the signs that your close friend hates you is that they frustrate every effort of hanging out with you.  

12. Your best pal’s friends don’t like you

Meeting your close pal’s friends usually strengthens the bond and trust between all parties. Ideally, his/her friends are expected to excitedly welcome you into the fold with widespread arms. But, when the reverse is the case, and they openly voice out their dislike for you, then you should pause and reconsider. Sure, not everyone is expected to like you, but it should never be across the board.

13. Your best friend places her other friends above you

As your best friend, it is expected that they would place you and your needs above their other friends. However, when your close pal begins to resent you, they put you down the pecking order. Let's say your best friend often went out of their way to please you. They no longer like you if they show more concern for their other friends than they do for you.

14. Your best friend has stopped taking your calls

Your best friend has stopped taking your calls

Anyone that hates or nurses feelings of resentment towards you will do all they can to avoid you. In your case, your BFF probably ignores your calls whenever you try to reach them. What’s more, they hardly acknowledge or return the calls. Note that something that you are not aware of may have happened. Instead of making baseless assumptions, find out why your friend doesn’t take your calls.

15. They block you on their social media networks

Social media is all about connecting with loved ones and building relationships. Many people find social media platforms critical for maintaining relationships. With that in mind, what better way to express resentment than to block every communication channel, including social media. Since they dislike you, they use this medium to get you out of their hair and move on.

16. They stop sharing stuff with you

What are best friends without the secrets and experiences they share? Your friendship thrives because of how much you love, trust, and understand one another. Best friends share everything, like embarrassing photos and videos, family and personal issues, crushes, and secret lives. They equally run to each other when one of them needs advice. If your close friend no longer likes you very much, he/she will back off and eventually stop sharing nitty-gritty details about themselves with you. It's mostly because they’d instead be sharing information about you behind your back.

17. Your best friend deletes all photos involving both of you

Who doesn’t have pictures of their friends and loved ones with them? Photos and videos are stored memories of good times and bad, which are almost always looked upon to remember such times. If your best deletes all pictures of you, he/she doesn’t appreciate those memories and would like to forget about you. It is not farfetched to consider that a person may want to overlook another because they no longer like or hate them.

18. They don’t find your jokes funny

Ideally, you should always bank on your jokes to cheer your best pal up and lift their spirits. But if suddenly, along the line, you realize your jokes lose their effect and nothing you say sounds funny to him/her. The truth is that, when a person begins to hate you, no joke on earth will make them laugh as long as it’s coming from you.

19. Any little thing you do offends them

Is your relationship with your close buddy one where they tend to get angry at the slightest opportunity without any logical reason? It’s most likely because they can’t stand you and he/she hates being in the same place as you, so they easily snap at you. This is one of the subtle ways that hate metamorphoses into something more profound and horrible.

20. Your best friend has stopped having your back

One good thing about having a close pal is that you are sure that somebody has your back. They see you through all the bad times and act as anchors to you. Once this particular person no longer has your back, it’s likely that he/she hates you and that the relationship has taken a turn for the worst.

21. They no longer let you use their stuff

Close friends are fond of doing everything together and sharing their stuff. As much as friendships don’t exist for what you can get out of them, there are times when one has to lean on the other for support. If your close pal keeps turning you down or asking for their stuff back, they probably hate you.

22. Your best friend doesn’t warn you about impending dangers

Any friend that intentionally puts you in harm’s way is not a good person, and you should, as a matter of urgency, stay away from them. He/she hates you to the point of wanting to cause your harm or let bad stuff happen to you. Once you begin to see these signs, there’s no need to reexamine the relationship as it is as good as over

23. He/she deletes your contact

There are various reasons why your close pal deleted your contact. It could be that it happened unintentionally, or it was a deliberate attempt to cut you off. When a close friend is angry with you or hates you, he/she may go as far as blocking your numbers or deleting your contacts entirely. They could be venting out the anger and hate that has swelled up inside them.

24. They quickly get irritated when they are around you

They quickly get irritated when they are around you

If your best friend finds your presence annoying or intensely irritating, then it’s a sign that she hates you. What’s more, there’s that face they make that makes it seem that you are a bother to them. You may also notice them showing signs of boredom like rolling their eyes or playing with their fingers. Chances are, they are only managing to tolerate you. 

25. Your best friend tries to get you into trouble

A friend that regularly gets you into trouble isn’t a good friend; talk more of your best friend. What’s more, it is only a friend that doesn’t have your interests at heart that seeks ways to put you into one problem or the other. He/she may be doing these bad things around you, which ultimately implicates you when the repercussions come. Best believe that the two of you are no longer as close as you remember.

26. Your conversations are always negative

It’s quite challenging to have a pleasant conversation with a negative person. Your best pal uses every conversation to complain, blame everyone else, criticize, and vent their anger and frustration. Most times, these emotions are directed at you, and it’s not easy coping with them. If you can be firm and maintain a calm resolve, it’s possible to keep the relationship alive. 

27. They are no longer straightforward with you

A friend that is not straightforward with you never means you well. It’s especially unfortunate when you keep catching them in a lie. If your close pal hates you, he/she will never be upfront or real about anything. Ideally, close friends are always honest with each other, but when the reverse becomes the case, it raises a red flag.

28. They insult you at the slightest turn

Best friends insult each other all the time without getting offended. However, if these insults aim to put you down, then the person doing it hates you. Perhaps he/she insults you in the presence of other people just to upset you. The best thing to do is to confront the person and express your displeasure. If it persists, you have no other option than to quit the toxic relationship.

29. Your best friend stops coming to you for advice

If your best friend often relied on your advice and counsel but suddenly stopped, then this might be a cause for worry. Something must have caused him/her to stop coming to you for advice. Most times, even when you give them advice, they disregard it and do whatever they want. If you no longer play a confidant role, he/she likely hates you.

30. There’s a change in her attitude towards you

Change is constant in life for everyone. However, the ways people change sometimes can impact their relationships. If your BFF starts behaving differently towards you, there is likely something wrong, and you need to closely examine the friendship. Talking about what you have noticed is an excellent avenue to repair relations between you.

31. They are overly suspicious of you

This happens in a friendship full of drama and controversies borne of past events. These events enable them to find reasons to be suspicious of you. Despite being a shameful thing, distrust is a subtle sign that your friend hates you. Whenever something wrong happens in the relationship, he/she directs accusing fingers at you straight away without thinking twice.

32. Your best friend is always uncomfortable around you

It’s unheard of to find close friends who are uncomfortable around each other. In your case, the hatred they feel towards you is likely causing the discomfort. You may notice them laughing or gesturing wildly. The idea is to ease the tension and despair they are feeling at that moment; practically everyone has felt this like this once or twice. Some people try to hide their discomfort, but their body language betrays them.

33. They want to cut off ties with you

When a  close pal hates you, they will try every possible means to ditch the relationship. Often, they try to do it, so it does not hurt your feelings or attract so much attention. If, after everything, you feel the relationship is unsalvageable, now might be the best time to call it quits and move on.


What do you do when your best friend hates you?

Firstly, give her ample space and time to cool off and figure out issues for herself. Everyone has an off day once in a while. If you still feel the friendship is salvageable, set up a meeting with your best friend to find common ground towards resolving the issues. However, if the problem persists, it might be time to call the friendship quits and move on.

Is it normal to hate your best friend?

Most people find it quite hard to believe you can hate a person so close and dear to them. Sometimes, love can quickly turn into hate at the slightest instance, mostly when that particular connection is lost. Your best friend may have probably said or done a whole lot behind your back that got you offended.

How do I know if someone hates me?

In some cases, they make no effort to hide their dislike for you. Conversely, some people try to hide it, but their actions and words betray them. You’d find them avoiding eye contact, indicative of the fact that something is wrong. A person who hates you would be disinterested in having anything to do with you.

How do you tell a friend that they hurt you?

In doing so, stay within the scope of the events that upset you and ensure your choice of words properly reflects the same. If you can’t deal with the pressure of telling your friend face to face, you can do it via letters, e-mails, or direct text messages. These alternative options would enable you to communicate your feelings better.

How do you know if your friend is toxic?

Toxic friends are generally hypocritical, frustrating, energetically draining, and exhausting. These kinds of friends are infamous for causing problems and creating dramatic scenes because of their toxic nature. Rather than compliment you, toxic friends find ways of putting you down and draining all your energy. Furthermore, a toxic friend will always want to compete with you for everything.

At The End Of The Day

Everyone has a toxic friend, so you have an idea of what to expect from a friend who dislikes you. Ensure you watch out for any of these signs highlighted above to enable you to take proactive measures to salvage the situation. What do you make of this post? Kindly share your thoughts in the comment section. If you found the article entertaining and insightful, endeavor to share it with your loved ones across your various social networks.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

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