A beautiful life is the life that is full of good friends. Good friends make our life easier. They are our number one support system and ultimately, our sanctuary. Without a friend our life will be bland. But sometimes, all of this can just be an illusion. What if your friend is not what they seems like?
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Fake friends are dometimes hard to spot and they might be preparing to hurt us just now. They hide behind lies that sound natural and actions that puts us in danger. These are the friends that will make our life miserable and complicated. So, what are the signs of fake friends?
- They make promises that they constantly break
What we look for in a friend is one who can keep their promises. Because after all, fulfilled promises build our trust that will make the friendship flourish. But, what signs that your friend is fake? On the other side, the fake friend do not care about keeping promises. One of the signs of a fake friend is broken promises. Since their number one purpose in befriending you is to use you, they will make promises that they can’t even keep. This will make you angry as it goes on, but they will feel like there is nothing wrong.
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- They talk bad things about you behind your back
The most hurtful thing is to be talked badly behind your back by the person you trust the most. A fake friend will do this because they do not feel any connection with you and they do not mind the thought of you hurting. Beside talking about you in a negative way behind your back, they also will not defend you.
When someone is talking bad about you, they will not say a word, they will even join the conversation. Do not be a friend with someone who is like this because this is the common signs of a fake friend.
- They only talk about themselves
You know they are a fake friend if the friendship feels like a one way relationship. A fake friend will not care about your needs to be listened. Every conversation you have with that friend will only be about their problems. This is an obvious signs of a fake friend. Even if you talk about your problem, they will cut the conversation and link it back to their problem.
- They only come to you when they need you
A good friend should be there through good and bad, every time possible. This is because friendship is build through time and effort. However, signs that your friend is fake they only come to you when they need you. Maybe when they have no friends or they want you to do something. They call you up only when they need your help. Likewise, you might be good at maths, so they come along just to ask you do task. Well, if you have cool stuff then they are just there to use it and forget about you. This is a clear sign of them using you. Do not commit to this kind of friendship. I mean, you deserve to be loved from a true friend.
- They make you feel bad for not being with them
One or two missed appointments based on logical reasons should not break a friendship. Friends should understand that we have a life outside of this friendship. But a fake friend will make you feel really bad about missing these appointments to the point where you actually hate your life. This is because fake friends want you to feel bad about yourself and they are mean.
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- They do not support you
It makes us all feel very happy when you have a friend that constantly supports you. They praise your hardwork and make your anxiety smaller when facing new challenges. Fake friends will not do all this. They will make you question your own strength, be disappointed at your own accomplishment and feel more scared when there are new challenges. They will do this by pointing out how weak you are or your mistakes. They will do this subtly, you won’t even notice but suddenly at the end of the day you feel this raging self hatred. If you have a friend like this, cut the ties immediately.
- They make fun of you every single time
A little humor between friends is common, it is even a sign of a very close relationship. But sometimes there are friends who make fun of you all the time, until it doesn’t feel funny anymore. The people that does this are fake friends. When making fun of you, they will still do it even though you asked them to stop. To make it worse, they often do it in public. The jokes also feel hurtful because fake friends will make fun of sensitive things such as your appearance or your personality.
- They never forgive and forget
What’s more signs that your friend is fake? People make mistakes and to have a longlasting friendship we need to be able to sincerely forgive and forget. Well, that is not the case for fake friends. Because they do not have a real emotional connection with us, they always feel superior and they do not care if you are hurt along the way. They point out your mistakes all the time, and they sometimes use that little mistakes against you in the future. They do this while not mentioning their mistakes at all.
- They do not make moves
To spot a fake friend, find a friend that do not initiate anything. They do not text you first, plan a get together, or talk to you daily. Even though you have made moves to be with them, they always ignore you or they say no to this plans constantly. They do not make plans in your friendship because they are not interested in growing this friendship and they only use you for a specific thing.
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- They forgot important facts or parts about you
Important dates or events associated with you will be greater if it is remembered and celebrated by a friend. A fake friend will not be able to do that because they do not feel the need to know you. They want this relationship to be all about themselves. So whenever you talk about important dates or parts of who you are, they always seem to forget. Do not befriend someone who never listens.
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- They openly attack and defy your beliefs
It is common for some people to have different beliefs and way of thinking. A good friend should also have that beliefs or they should support it. However, a fake friend will publicly defy and attack your beliefs. They will make you question your own beliefs and they will belittle you for even having those beliefs.
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- They make you feel bad about yourself
At the end of the day, we should feel happy in a friendship. If you constantly feel like your confidence is getting lower, you are getting more sensitive and you are miserable in this friendship, there is a big chance you are with a fake friend. Trust your instincts. If your heart tells you that this friendship is toxic, then get out.
More signs of a fake friend
More signs that your friend is fake that you need to keep them away from your life:
- They talk about people a lot
- They do not feel guilt in ignoring you when it is needed
- They do not keep your number
- They are passive agressive a lot
- They quickly become mad when they are with you
- Being with them makes you feel mad or in a negative mood
- You only hang out with this person in a group, not individually
- They have never shared anything personal with you
- They take off when you are having a hard time
- They find it okay to talk about your secrets and insecurities in public
- The silence between you is always awkward
- Their number is switch off all the time you call them
- And they left your message read but not reply
Thus, we hope that you don’t find the signs that your friend is fake in your besties.
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How to deal with fake friends
As soon as identifying them as a fake friend, you need to cut the ties. There are many ways on how to deal with fake friends. Here are some steps to deal with this toxic friendship
The frist thing you need to do is to go back in time and analyse your entire relationship. Have you done something that makes them hold grudges this way? Where have your friendship gone wrong? Although it seems like the source of the problem is them, we also need to introspect ourselves.
- Surround yourself with good people
Sometimes you will notice toxic environment when you have got out from one. To do this make new friends and surround yourself with people that truly cares about you. Put your all into this friendship. Feel that this friendship is more positive than the last one. This is an important step on how to deal with fake friends.
- Confront them
On the matter of how to deal with fake friends, it is a mature step to first talk with them about this problem rather than blatantly hating and ignoring them. To do this, find a secluded spot where there is not a big crowd. Then, convey your feelings about this relationship.
After that, ask them why they have acted this way. Their first reaction might be hatred or they might seem really insulted. To counter this, stay calm and insist for the answer of the question. Say that any reason from them will be forgiven. Maybe they will start to open up and tell you the truth
- Ignore and let go
If the step before is not working, just ignore that fake friend and let go of the connection between both of you. Do not let them come back to your life. This is the last resort on how to deal with fake friends.
All you have to do now is identify and do what you need to do to get out from this toxic relationship. There are many hidden signs that your friend is fake, but that’s life. You can just find the true ones when they let you down. Good luck!
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