Differences Between Relationships in Your 20s and 30s Everyone Go Through

Last updated on June 7, 2024 by Michelle Devani

As you get older, things change. When you’re in your 30s life feels different than in the 20s. Now that you’re an adult you have settled and no longer find the place where you belong. Everything in life become stable: financially, mentally, and emotionally.

All those changes make impact in your relationship. People say it gets better as you get older. In case you don’t really feel it, here are the difference between relationships in your 20s and 30s.

  1. Priority in Relationship

Rather than a passionate love like the one you had in your 20s, you prefer stability in relationship in 30s. You look for a partner with whom you can build life with while you’re doing perfectly on your own.

Flowers, surprises, and sexes, are complementary. You’re more focused on how to enjoy the company of each other and having fun in the relationship. You want something that can last forever not a short-lived, burning passions.

  1. View in Sex

Sex in 20s full of trial and errors. You want to try various things, trying to figure out what you want. It’s the time when you experienced a lot of bad sex than the good ones. Now that you’re in 30s you know what you want and you don’t hesitate to tell your partner about it. It’s why sex life is better than before.

  1. Dating Activities

You likely don’t have much money in 20s. You just secure your first job and with an unstable finance you should make your ends meet. When you go for a date, you look many freebies and affordable places.

As you’re now settled in 30s, money is no longer an issue. Rather than the cost, you prefer things that more comfortable and you can enjoy together. You don’t even bother to look at the price tag. Also read But Cool Ways to Enjoy Valentine's Day Date without Spending Too Much

  1. Self Confidence

You probably don’t notice this, but you do everything for the man you love. You even change yourself to match his level. It’s like there are no other people in the world. Enough with the stupidity, now you’re aware that it’s not you who should change. It’s the person.

You know that a partner who doesn’t love you the way you are is not really into you. Dating someone who’s on the same page with you sounds right instead faking it.

  1. Patience Expiry

People in their 20s live like they have so much time. Thus, they don’t mind to give someone as much time as they want to wait for the significant others to change. Only to find out that you can’t fix anyone despite everything.

You realize that you’ve wasted your time in the past, so that you can easily recognize red flags in a relationship in your 30s. Also read Types of Boyfriends You'll Have in Your 20s

  1. People’s Expectations

Another differences between relationships in your 20s and 30s is how you see other people’s expectation. They used to ask why you’re such in a rush for marriage since you’re still young.

But when you’re in your 30s, they ask why don’t you have kids or why haven’t you get married. They’re more worried about your life more than you do but you know all that matters is your happiness.

  1. Relationship with Exes

When you’re young you don’t mind to be in an on-off relationship with certain exes, convinced they’ll become better and forgive their mistakes. In the 30s you realize that things just don’t work with your ex.

They’re dismissed from your life for good reasons and there’s no such things as second chance. You deserve better. Also read Ways to Forget Your Ex

  1. Love Hunting

Young people are burning with passion and they tend to be reckless. It’s the reasons why you enjoy weekend clubbing so much to find good looking hook-ups. Well, a relationship started out from the clubs never last long.

In the 30s you’re realize about it, so you’d find love anywhere but the clubs. You’re in for blind date, set-ups, and even find love through online dating.

  1. Pregnancy Issue

When you’re still in your 20s, pregnancy is a fear that haunted you in every relationship. You want to try many things, pursuing your dreams, and living life the way you want it and you have to settle down once you’re pregnant. Also read How to Get Pregnant without Your Boyfriend Knowing

That’s why you got freak out easily when you’re late one of two days for your periods. Things are different when you’re thirty-something. You understand your biological cycle, you know whether you want kids or not, so you can control these things better. At this age, you know whether you’d be a good parents or not.

  1. Relationship Drama

Relationship is not a relationship with no drama in it. In 20s all you want for a relationship is fun and excitement. When a proper partner comes around, you don’t even think twice to dump them just because they’re boring. While in fact they have all the husband/wife material.

The 30s is when you regret all of those. Now you’d rather with a boring person but living a simple, drama-free relationship.

  1. Dating Sites

Do you know why a lot of dating sites requires premium membership where you have to pay some money to send messages and viewing someone’s profile? To know whether a person is serious or not.

People in 20s who just want to play and have fun use Tinder and other dating sites for free because they never been serious. People in their 30s wouldn’t mind to pay because they’re serious. They’re looking for a serious partner, no fun. Also read The Best Dating Site for A Serious Relationship

  1. Job and Finance

When you’re younger, you judge people from their jobs. People in their 20s still have plenty of time to pursue their dreams, so that future remains unclear. You don’t mind to fight together with them. However, if you’re in your 30s you’ll look for someone with a stable jobs and financial condition. You don’t mind to move on from someone who doesn’t pull their self together in the morning.

Those are the difference between relationships in your 20s and 30s. You won’t realize about it until you have gone through those phase.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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