How to Ask Your Ex Girlfriend to be Friends with Benefits or Something More

Last updated on May 4, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Are you wondering how you can talk your ex-girlfriend into becoming a friend with benefits?

Maybe you broke up with her, but you have now decided you want to keep having sex with her?

Or perhaps she ended it with you, and you're hoping to salvage some sort of physical connection with her this way?

Either way, there's a clever way to go about it - and then there are many not-so-clever ways that aren't going to get you what you want. 

In this guide, we'll explain the intelligent way to ask your ex-girlfriend to be friends with benefits. 

A good start could be to download this powerful online communications tracker tool.

This tool will track various aspects of your ex-girlfriend's phone communications and send you data based on these. You'll be able to discover who she's regularly contacting, what apps she's commonly using and a hell of a lot more.

As you can imagine, this can provide useful intel as far as whether she'd be open to a FWB relationship with you, or if she's seriously in love with someone else. 

The tool is completely discreet, so there's no downside to using it. It will reveal the truth about what's going on in your ex-girlfriend's life, rather than only the details that she's willing to tell you.

From there, you'll be in a much better position to know what to say to your former lover and when to say it, especially when you follow the rules in the guide below. 

So, without further ado, let's now get into the meat of this guide, so you know exactly how to ask your ex-girlfriend to become your friend with benefits.


Why Ask Your Ex Girlfriend To Be Friends With Benefits

Here are some of the things that drive people to ask their ex girlfriend to do it with them which may also apply to you:

1. Don’t Have To Waste Time

You don’t have to waste a lot of your time looking for someone else as your friend with benefits. You can just ask your ex girlfriend.

2. You Know Her Already

The whole situation can be less awkward when it involves your ex girlfriend. Since you know her already, you can have more freedom around her. The same applies to her. As she knows you, she would have less hesitation to hold back. But, you must know how long should you wait to call your ex girlfriend to ask her about being friends with benefits.

3. Still Have A Bit Of Feelings For Her

A lot of people say that when you want to make your ex to be your friends with benefits, make sure that no feelings are involved. However, it really depends on your situation. If you still have a little bit of feelings for her and want to go ahead with this then just do it.

4. To Have A Fun Time Together

Friends with benefits can have its ups and its downs. The emotions involved are not always predictable. However, a good reason to ask your ex girlfriend to be friends with benefits with you is to have a fun time together. It’s just a casual sex with a person that you had a relationship with.

How To Ask Your Ex Girlfriend To Be Friends With Benefits

You can make your ex girlfriend say yes to it by doing these things:

1. Hang Out With Her Like Friends

Get your ex girlfriend to hang out with, just like friends. It’s been proven time and time again that the key to building a close bond is by being close to each other as much as possible. Be nice to your ex girlfriend so she’ll consider your offer to be friends with benefits. Go watch a movie, have fun at an amusement park or eat pizza together. Running out of ideas? Here are other things to do when hanging out with your ex girlfriend to have a good time.

2. Talk To Her

Asking your ex to be friends with benefits is a serious matter. Talk to her about it in a detailed manner. Tell her the reasons why you want to do it. Be open and frank with your ex so that she can see how serious you are about this.

3. Tell Her The Good Things About It

To convince your ex girlfriend to be friends with benefits, tell her the good things about it. Say what’s in it for her. Don’t just make the focus on you, consider what she’s going to get out of it. This will make her have a reason to jump on board with the idea right away.

4. Be Cool About It

When you’re asking your ex to do it, stay cool. Be calm and relaxed about it. What you need to avoid is looking or sounding desperate. That’s going to make your ex girlfriend walk away or do it out of pity. Your desperation could be one of the reasons why your ex girlfriend won't talk to you. You don’t want any of that. What you want is her agreeing to it because she wants it too.

5. Wait For Her To Make Up Her Mind

In case your ex girlfriend says yes, then that’s great! But if she says that she needs time to think about it, let her have some space. Don’t force her to make the decision right away. The fact is, when you force someone to do something, the more they want to avoid it. So, you just have to wait for your ex girlfriend to make up her mind. But here are the ways to deal with a hot and cold ex girlfriend in case she keeps changing her mind on you. 

6. Flirt A Little

To ask your ex girlfriend to be friends with benefits, you can flirt with her a little. Make a reconnection with her so that she’ll say yes to be friends with benefits with you. Flatter her with compliments before and while you’re trying to make her agree to the idea. Being charming will actually increase the chances of her saying yes to you. Make her feel very special around you.

But what if you're not great at flirting? Feeling nervous or shy? Well, try out these tips for shy guys to give friendly and romantic hugs to girls as they will definitely work on your ex girlfriend.

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7. Come To An Agreement

On the whole process of asking her, make sure that the two of you come to an agreement. You have to be on the same page as your ex girlfriend. This will avoid any conflicts later on. Other than that, it will also prevent the two of you from getting hurt.

8. Make Rules

Making rules is not a bad idea. It’s actually beneficial. Rules help to keep the two of you from crossing over the lines. They serve as a boundary or a limitation on what the two of you can and cannot do while being friends with benefits. When you and your ex girlfriend come up with the rules, make sure to stick to them.

The Bottom Line

So, those are the ways on how to ask your ex girlfriend to be friends with benefits. Even if things don’t work out, at least you gave it a shot.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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