11 Wise Ways To Deal With A Hot And Cold Ex Girlfriend

Last updated on May 2, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Are you keen to get your ex-girlfriend back?

Maybe she's been in contact with you, but is sending mixed signals as far as her affection towards you? 

This is what we call a 'hot and cold' ex-girlfriend. They can be frustrating to deal with, for sure. 

Thankfully, there are effective ways to deal with this type of ex-partner and I've listed these in the guide below.

My first tip is one of the most effective, so focus carefully.

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In other words, it's your key to discovering the truth about how your hot and old ex-girlfriend really feels.  

You'll receive a mountain of data regarding who they're contacting most, often, what apps they're using, and what they're generally up to on their web-connected devices.

It's 100% discreet, so you don't need to worry about your ex finding out she's being tracked.

This tool will make it so much easier to know your ex's intentions. In fact, it's commonly used by men and women who want to know more about the intentions of their casual and serious partners too. After all, it only needs a few of the person's basic details to get started.

We're focusing specifically on 'hot and cold' ex-girlfriends in this guide though. So, let's dive in and discover the best ways to deal with them.


11 Ways To Deal With A Hot And Cold Ex Girlfriend

Here some tips to deal with this hot and cold behavior from your ex-girlfriend!

1. Do Not Dig Too Deep Into It

She is calling you at night, says that she miss talking with you, then ask how you are doing. But the day after, she does not respond to your calls and just read your chat without replying to it.
It is possible that she just want to know your current life after the breakup. Will you miss her? or did you get over her already? Do not take it to the heart and enjoy your current freedom.

Read: Ways to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back from Another Guy

2. Go With The Flow

go with the flow

There is a chance that she is quite messed up with her feelings. At times she regrets her actions for her breakup. At times she blames you for what you did. At times she wants to talk to you desperately.
At times she is glad that she left you. Some would say that this action is called post-breakup trauma, so you should not be shocked, treat her like one of your friends, get over it and let it flow. She will completely get over this over time.

3. Cutting The Contact

Do you still have your feelings for her? Do you find it hard to move on? Then cutting the contact is the only way that anyone will have the chance to realize what they want and what they want to do. She is confused with herself, does not know what she wants and still not getting over the breakup.
Cutting the contact with her 100% until you are both healed and ready to have a conversation on where you both stand. If she's contacting you like that after a few weeks, I'd suggest moving on.

Also read Signs Your Ex Girlfriend Will Eventually Come Back to know if your ex-girlfriend wants to come back to you.

4. Ask Her

You definitely need to ask her. Just say, "Why are you treating me very hot then cold?" and see what happens. She might be shocked that you asked. She might give you the real reason she broke up with you.
She might be still into you but shy to confess or just keeping you near before she finds another more suitable partner. 

Also read: Ways to Make Your Ex Miss You after Breakup

5. Take A Pen And A Paper

What's the best ways to deal with a hot and cold ex girlfriend? Write down all the good memories and the bad memories you had with your ex. You will get an overview of your relationship and you will be able to decide whether you want to give her another chance or not.

6. Date Another Girl

date another girl

If you feel there is no hope for getting back together, make her jealous. Do not give her time. She is most probably having fun with the other. Why do not you try the same?
It is time for you to find a girl for you. Unless you want to be in a weak, reactive position in a relationship where you are constantly trying to win her affections, get out and find someone who remains consistently positive with you. But remember, unless or until your relationship with your ex-girlfriend is resolved do not get involved with anyone else. 

Also read: What to Do When A Guy Texts You After A Long Time

7. Move On With Life

Leave that girl and perhaps you will find the better one that will make you happy for the rest of your life. Do not expect anything from her as she is cold and hot.
That would not work in every single day of your life, this will hurt you a lot. Get over it and start a new life.

8. Forgive Yourself, Forgive Her, Forgive The Situation

Take all the lessons from the day you date her for your next relationship so you can at least minimize the same mistake. One day you can look back and smile, to realize how strong you were after all this time.

Wondering about your man? Let's find out who he really is.
From the newly dating to the happily married, trust issues can creep up on anyone. With cheating cases soaring over 40% in the last two decades, it's natural to have your doubts.

Could he be sending flirty texts to another woman? Or secretly swiping on Tinder? Or even have a hidden criminal past? Or, the worst fear - could he be cheating?

This useful tool can bring the truth to light. It'll dig out hidden social media accounts, dating profiles, photos, any legal run-ins, and more. Let us help clear your mind.

9. Find Something You Are Passionate About

find something you are passionate about

Try different experiences in life. Try sports, spend your years having fun, be assertive and confident. Learn, grow and master something you are passionate about. As you become successful, eliminate distractions and frustrations.

10. Surround Yourself With Your Loved Ones

A happy life is all about being around people we love and care about. It gives us time to let down our guard, decompress and just have some plain old-fashioned fun. This is what achieving a happy life is all about.

Also read: Reasons Why Is My Ex Texting Me when He Broke Up with Me

11. Take Care Of Yourself

Here's the last ways to deal with a hot and cold ex girlfriend. You should be caring for your mental and emotional well-being. Taking care of yourself means on the inside too.
Stand up yourself for being tactful, not aggressive. Find ways to keep learning through reading, studying others, doing things differently and staying open to advise. 

Also read: How to Respond to a Drunk Text from An Ex Lover?

In Summary

This behaviour is happening almost in every single relationship after the breakup and confused so many men guessing what that means. Some girls are just like that. You will learn that girls are not like guys. They can change in an instant and leave you behind. The bigger question is how do you feel? Are you happy staying friends with her? Is it a fair relationship or are you expected to remain faithful while she figures out what she wants?

No matter what you choose, you have to go with your gut and your feelings, never sacrifice your peace of mind and happiness for someone who is not willing to do the same for you. If you enjoying yourself then do it, if not then move on. Do you really want to make your ex-girlfriend back?

Read Signs That Your Ex Girlfriend Has Moved On From You to know that she has already get over it.

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Whether your relationship is in its budding phase or you're in the blissful realm of marriage, escalating infidelity rates (over 40% in the past two decades) warrant your caution.

You may want to ascertain whether he is engaging in secretive text conversations with other women, maintaining active profiles on dating platforms like Tinder, or concealing a criminal history. Or you might be fearing the worst - infidelity.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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