Should I Contact My Ex Girlfriend After She Broke Up With Me? You Should, But...

by Michelle Devani

Are you wondering whether to contact your ex-girlfriend after she broke up with you? 

Do you think that talking things through might help you get back together? But perhaps you've also considered that going silent might be the best way to make her miss you?  

It's completely normal to be torn about this decision, especially when you have no way to tell how she might be feeling about the break-up. 

Hopefully, this guide will help you out.

It covers the pros and cons of contacting your ex-girlfriend after she broke up with you. 

This online communications tracker tool could also prove really helpful. It's able to break into other people's phones and deliver you information based on their recent communications.

You'll be able to see who your ex is contacting, what apps they're using, what online services they're using, and whether they've registered alternate contact details. 

That's the cherry on the cake, as far as the amount of data you'll be getting. It'll be able to create a solid idea of whether your ex has moved on, or if she's still pining for you. 

With this intel, you'll be in a much better place to know whether to get back in contact with them or not. What's more, it's 100% discreet. They'll never know you used this tool, unless you tell them.    

If you're looking for a quick and detailed summary of how your ex is getting on with you, this tool provides it. It's going to make the decision of whether to contact her much easier.

So, let's now take a look at what you need to consider when making this decision.

Should I Contact My Ex-Girlfriend After We Broke Up?

1. Wait, But Not Too Long

wait but not too long

As you may have read thousand times in relationship related articles, contacting your ex girlfriend is not a wise move. Just like a newly burnt scar, you have to wait until it calmed down before touching it. The same thing goes with your ex girlfriend.

Both you and she have to gone through a post breakup pain on your own. Even if you insisted on staying friends with her after the separation, there has to be bridge between romance and friendship.

Also read: Reasons Why You Should Not Be Friends with Your Ex

So during the week – or even a month – after breakup, you have to disappear completely from her life. Within the time you may feel the urge to call or text her because you miss her, but you have to fight it.

Giving personal space after a breakup is the best way to maintain a healthy relationship in the future.

2. Should I Text Her On Her Birthday?

If I want to text your ex back to make friends with her, don’t I need the right moment so you have official reason to contact her? Like, on her birthday? Well, you’re right and wrong at the same time. How could it be?

Her birthday after the breakup could be the worst birthday she has ever had. Especially when she’s still heartbroken from your previous relationship, and her birthday only remind her of the good old memories when you surprised her last year.

How would you think she will take that as? While you meant to try making friends with her, she took it as a signal of you wanting to get back together again. Be tactful enough to read situation, is texting her happy birthday the right thing to do.

Also read: Reasons Why Your Ex Girlfriend Won’t Talk To You

But if she seems to have moved on and both of you agreed to stay friendly, you may congratulate her as a friend. Just make sure that you and your ex girlfriend are on the same page.

3. What If She Already Date Another Guy?

Well, if your intention is to win her back, then you don’t need to ask should I contact my ex girlfriend after she broke up with me. Because the answer is absolutely no. You should just let her go if she has find her own happiness.

Also read: What to Do If Your Ex is in a Rebound Relationship

You can still be friend with her, but you should give her new relationship to develop. If you are rushing your way back into her life, she would think you want to ruin her new relationship. Moreover, it makes her new boyfriend hard to establish trust with her.

4. Is It Okay To Contact My Ex Girlfriend After The Breakup?

is it okay to contact my ex girlfriend after the breakup?

This might be the thing you wait the most. Well, the answer is that perfectly okay. Nobody ever said you should not contact your ex girlfriend. However, you have to do it under certain situation.

First, you have to make sure you have get over the relationship. Both of you. Regardless of the when and how, this is the most important thing. If either of you still have emotional baggage, then you can’t ever be friend.

Secondly, you have to know the boundaries between friend and lover. Be clear of what allowed and not allowed, as a friend. It’s going to be hard and need time until you can really settle as friends.

Also read: What's The Benefits of Doing No Contact Rule After A Breakup?

When both of you are on the same page, you can have a strong post-relationship friendship.

5. Mind The Time

It may doesn’t seem like a big deal, but the time you contact your ex girlfriend really matter. Avoid texting or calling her early in the morning or late at night. You may have done it all the time in the past, but now your relationship is nothing special anymore.

Early morning text and late night calls are usually come from people who are meaningful to you. So if you ignore this, she may think that you’re actually want to get back again all along and this whole friendship thing is just disguise.

Also read: How Long Should You Wait to Call Your Ex Girlfriend?

Contact her casually if you really have something urgent to talk in not-so-special time like 3 pm in the afternoon. One more simple yet useful advice is when you text your ex girlfriend, you better not use any emoji in it.

The Bottom Line

The “should I contact my ex girlfriend after she broke up with me” question is not silly. It’s normal if you feel troubled in deciding whether you should contact her again or not.

As long as both of you want to remain friendly and you have a good breakup, maybe you should. There are many stories about how romance turns into friendship and you could have one too. It’s something highly possible.

Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.