How To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend For Your Stuff Back - When Break Up Has Gone Wrong

Last updated on April 3, 2024 by Michelle Devani

Does your ex-boyfriend still have your things?

Are you wondering how to ask for them back?

Does the idea of doing so make you anxious?

Don't worry! I've got your back. This guide has some tips for asking for your things back.

Also, this online tool can track your ex-boyfriend's phone communications, delivering you data based on who he's contacting and his online activity.

This might make it easier to discover what it's going to be like to contact him.

There are plenty of women using this tool to keep tabs on ex-boyfriends or potential love interests. It's 100% discreet, so there's nothing to lose.

The information might make it easier for you to ask for your stuff back.

With that said, here are some tips to help you ask your ex-boyfriend to return your things.


9 Ways To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend For Your Stuff Back

Whatever it is you must get it back into your possession and to see him again after you already move on is not something that is easy for you. You try your best to avoid him because you don't want those bitter memories to showed up because you don't want to go through that bad experience again. Don't worry, I am here to give you some advice on what you should do if you want to get your stuff back from your ex boyfriend.

1. Decide If It Is Important Or Not

decide if it is important or not

The steps that I will be listed here will take a lot of time and hassle so if you are just planning to get your worn out t-shirt that you get from the convenience store for a cheap price then you might should let it all go away and just get a new one. On the other hand, if you want to get something that is valuable then you should keep reading through this article.

2. Make Sure You Are Calm

How to ask your ex boyfriend for your stuff back? Don't go full rage after the break up to get your stuff back right after you are breaking up with him because you are in a state of anger which is not a good thing for decision making. You must be wondering why is the right time after reading the sentence before the sentence before this and the answer of your confusion is two or four weeks.

After two or four weeks after the break up you should be in a calmer and happier state to start doing the next step which is telling him that you want your stuff back. 

Read also: How to Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Anymore

3. Give A Heads Up

Don't just go straight show up at his doorbell calling his name to come out without any notification to him before, you will make yourself looks like an uneducated person, that is the last thing you want to do because it will absolutely ruin your own reputation.

Give him a short yet efficient text telling him that he still have your stuff in his house and wanted to arrange a meeting so you can get your stuff back. Try to avoid using calls because there is a possibility of it getting emotional and messy at any time but when your ex boyfriend doesn't reply to your text after a few days then you might have to call him. 

Read also: How to Get A Guy to Text You Back without Being Annoying

4. Arrange An Agreeable Time

You want to before make an appointment with your ex boyfriend because you don't want to show at his door at random time whenever he is away. The main goal for you to read this article is to get your stuff back, not to waste your time. Be as agreeable as possible, even if it's painful. Petty arguments often surface after breakups due to lingering emotions, so remind yourself to remain composed if you get angry. The sooner you get your things, the better.

5. Keep It Short

Unless contacting your ex is one of the way that you are doing in order to his love and attention back, after you both agree to a certain time and a certain place you must do these steps; get in - get the stuff - get out. You want to keep the meeting short because you need to remember what to prioritize, the longer you are seeing him the harder for you to control your emotion and start to talk about the past problems that you both having.

Read also: Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Wants to Get Back Together

6. Ask Your Friend For Help

ask your friend for help

One of the way that you can do to shorten the meeting time is to ask your friend for a help to get your stuff from your ex boyfriend's possession. Besides giving you the sense of confidence and make you feel more empowered, having a friend to accompany you to your ex's place will also help you carry out the big stuff such as electronics, it will also decrease the chance of your ex having a physical contact such as hugging you which can make you flatter and forget about the bad stuff that he did in the past, you may want to forgive him but not that quick and easy because he need to reflect and think over the mistake that he made. 

Read also: Signs to Know if Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You

7. Be Polite

Try to find the balance between keeping the interactions to a minimum and having to be a rude person by ignoring all of his attempt to interact with you. As I have said before you need to keep it to a minimum because you want to avoid those sparks to be enlighten again risking having to go through the same book with the same ending over and over again. 

Read also: Things to Say to An Ex Boyfriend to Make Him Feel Bad

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8. Mail The Small Things Over

If you are planning to get your small and carry-able stuff back such as your hard drive and coming to terms with him and your own ego is much of a bother then you should just ship the small things over using courier services. Just send him texts telling him that you want your stuff back and to be mailed at your new address as soon as possible

9. What If He Doesn't Want To Return It

This is one of the possibility that could happen if you want to get your stuff back from your ex, there are some well known ways to tell if he doesn't want to return your stuff such as ignoring all your texts and call, making a bluff appointment, saying it is already get thrown away, and many more.

In Summary

You might want to get help from a mutual friend or a family member of his who you doesn't have any problems with to convince your ex to give what is legally yours back, don't forget to attach an evidence of belonging such as receipts or purchase forms to prove that the stuff that you want to get back is rightfully yours.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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