How to Tell Your Ex Boyfriend You Just Want to be Friends

Last updated on June 4, 2024 by Michelle Devani

While some people assume that staying friends with your ex boyfriend may turn into disaster, others don't want to have an ill relationship with their ex. Not because you hasn't get over him, but as the time passed you become mature and finally let go of the things that didn't mean to be. At some point, you think that it's okay to stay as friend with your ex. Especially when you started out a friends.

But how to tell your ex boyfriend you just want to be friends? When you are all okay with that, it is possible he is not in the same boat with you. He could be having a hard time with the break up and doesn't want to bring you into his life again. However, every hard feeling will be healed over time.

When you both has finally settled, successfully moved one from each other and find a new love on top of that, being friend is not impossible. Here are the ways how to tell your ex boyfriend you just want to be friends.

1. Consider the Reason You Broke Up

Judging from their personality, not all exes have friend material. You have to consider the reason you broke up for first. If you had an ugly break up, being friends is almost impossible. Or when either of you still have a a feeling to other, staying as friends only torturing those who hasn't move on yet. See also Ways to Tell If Your Ex Still Has Feelings for You

2. Give Him Some Time

Being friends as soon as the break up happen is ridiculous. No matter how smooth the break up you had, both of you need time to get over your feeling. As long as the loss, sadness, and hurt is still there, never try to be friend. Give yourself and him time after the break up. After a while, you can meet again as friends.

3. Heal Yourself

Post break up is always harder that the break up itself. Take your time, as long as you need it to heal yourself before you decide whether you can be friend with your ex or not. Spend a lot of time to improve yourself and make you happy. See also Reasons Why You Don't Need Boyfriend to be Happy

4. Initiate a Contact

Usually you need months (even years) before you become ready to contact your ex again. It's okay before you might be falling in love with him again when you're not all set. You can reach him by any means. Avoid talking about your past relationship. Just greet him as if you greet him as an old friend.

5. Hang Out in a Small Group

To test the water, you can hang out with him along with your peers. It's important not to spend time just alone with him, you might assume yourself going on a date. Remember that you can always walk away once things get awkward. And if it turns out that you haven't ready yet, avoid meeting him for some time. See also What to Do When Your Ex Boyfriend Tries to Make You Jealous

6. Tell Him You Want to be Friends

Setting the boundaries is the best thing you can do. If you keep trying to talk to him without telling him your intention, he could have mistook it that you want to get back again. Tell him that you want to be friends, regardless of anything. Avoid dramas, just tell him openly and honestly. It's the rightest way how to tell your ex boyfriend you just want to be friends.

7. Accept That Some Things Change

You can't deny the fact that things change after you break up. Even though you used to be best friend before dated, you can't act like nothing ever happen between both of you. Just be mature and accept that things can't go back to how it used to be. Just act naturally and avoid anything that may trigger your feeling. See also Reasons Why Your Ex Boyfriend Wants to be Friends

8. Tell Others That You are Friend

When you have broken up but still hanging around together, people around you will be wondering if you get back together. Tell your friends and others who know about your past relationship that you have broken up but remain friendly. You can also ask your friend to make a judgement whether you look natural or awkward with him.

9. Explain to His New Girlfriend Later

The person you both owe explanation the most is his new girlfriend. She can be the the one who find it hardest to believe. She must be suspicious that something wrong is going on. She might have accuse you of cheating. Keep calm and explain to her in a good way how you still friends. See also Signs You are Ready for a New Relationship

10. Explain to Your New Boyfriend As Well

Someone who is not less important is your boyfriend. Just like his new lover, he will be hard to make sense out of it. Be reasonable when you explain to him why you want to stay friend with him. You can tell him that you are working in the same place with him so have no choice but to be friends or it will affect the teamwork.

11. Raise Your Guard When You Fall in Love Again

If you remain friends with your boyfriend, the chance for you to fall in love with him again is the biggest. Know the signs and raise your guard when you see it coming. Not only from you, but you have to be cautious with the signs that appear from him. See also How to Know If Your Ex Boyfriend is Still in Love with You

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12. Avoid the Memorable Places

While trying to be friendly with him, avoid anything that could wake the memories of him. Don't visit the restaurant you used to get dinner and any other places that left memories for both of you.

13. Respect His Decision

You never know how hard he had to get through the break up. So when he doesn't welcome your intention to be friend, be understanding and don't force him to.

Even though it's okay to be friend with your ex boyfriend, you can't deny that it's a little bit risky. The old sparks of love may be lit once again so you always have to be careful of that. Thus, before you do the ways how to tell your ex boyfriend you just want to be friends, make sure that you don't have any feeling left for him anymore.

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Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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